Because I’m too poor for real Louboutins and don’t really wear that much red anyways.

The trick is to find shoes with a) leather soles (as opposed to rubber or some other synthetic) and b) the right shape. The bottom needs to have a distinct edge, so you can paint just the sole.

Supplies:

Small amount of paint (I bought 2 colors but only used the blue for these shoes), cute but sort of boring pair of shoes (these Hollywould for Target, bought on clearance years ago but only worn once or twice), sandpaper, trim roller, small brush, acrylic sealant (meant for wood, found near the stain at the hardware store).

A note about the paint: You could probably use any paint you happened to have – this is from the hardware store, the kind you get mixed at the counter, but you could probably use craft store acrylics too. The important part is sealing it.

1. Wash off the bottoms really really well.
2. Sand the whole surface down so the paint sticks better.
3. Use a trim roller to get good, even coverage without any brush marks. The roller also lets you get right to all the edges without accidentally painting the side of your shoe too. Use a small brush to do the heel and along any of the spots you can’t reach with the roller.  I used 2 coats of paint and felt like that was enough coverage. Wait at least a few hours for it to be totally dry – I waited overnight.
4. With a wide brush, give the soles a coat of polycrylic sealant. The directions call for 3 coats, so I did all three, with a light sanding in between. Wait for them to dry completely. Sand it just a little more so it’s not too slippery – you don’t want to fall on your face.

5. Wear your cute new shoes.

Remember, you’re using paint, not magic dirt-repelling fairy dust. They’re still going to scuff and get less pretty if you wear them outside. The good news is you can sand off some of the crud pretty easily or repaint them for a special occasion.

My plan was to wear my adorable new shoes for BlogHer, but all the advice I’ve read recommends comfort over style. So if you see a girl limping around barefoot and CARRYING her patent leather heels with bright blue bottoms, come say “Hi”. And also “Wow, you sure are dumb.”

We have a severe case of AMPLIMC syndrome in this house: All My Pictures Live In My Computer. Even MORE embarrassing, even when I do manage to get them printed out they end up living in the protective sleeve for months (years. decades.) until I can find just the RIGHT frame and just the RIGHT mat and just the RIGHT place to hang them. But when you’re busy being as epically lazy as I strive to be it’s hard to remember to get all that done.

This Picture Frame Clothes Pin Photo Display fixed my problem:

I was inspired by something I saw on Pinterest (here’s the blog post), but that version was way too complicated. Mine is an old glassless frame I pulled out of someone’s trash, a few pieces of ribbon I found in my craft box and some wooden clothespins left over from the nursery makeover. If you’re looking to add more of a personal touch to your project, custom enamel pins is a great idea. I used teeny tiny nails to secure the ribbon to the back of the frame and hung up pictures I got for free from Shutterfly during their mother’s day sale. Total cost: $3.17 for the shipping on the prints. It’s super easy to switch out the pics and I could totally change the mood of the board by using all fall pictures or all black and white pictures or all close-ups. I can also use it to display Caroline’s monthday photos all at once for her first birthday.

Update: I DID indeed use it for Caroline’s winter sparkle snowflake first birthday and it worked perfectly.

Thanks to Pinterest (don’t know what that is? I recommend this brilliant how-to-use Pinterest post written by a very talented blogger)(spoiler alert: it was me) I’ve been inspired to make a bunch of stuff recently. Or at least attempt to make a bunch of stuff. I’m having some extreme spray-paint related angst. I am TERRIBLE at spray painting stuff. It’s a really debilitating condition, like people who can’t park straight or say “supposably”. So I gave up on a few ideas and wandered around Michael’s Crafts staring at other kinds of paint until I was struck with new, better ideas. I think I’ve used up all my crafting energy for the next month and a half though so don’t worry about me trying to turn this into a craft blog.

Here are my successful non-spray paint related crafts from this weekend:

Buttons + corks = stamps

They actually work pretty well! Even better on soft stuff, like bubble mailers.

Corks + hot glue = trivet. I KNEW drinking all that wine would come in handy.

Scrabble Letter Shadow Box

Toddler involved craft project:

My little Picasso helped me paint

This is the glass from an $8 frame I bought at the craft store. I helped Little Evan paint directly on one side with green, blues and white. After it dried I painted over his paint with yellow. When I turned it over, this is the side that shows through the frame.

Then I Googled "quotes about creativity" until I found one I liked, printed it on clear full-sheet label, trimmed it a little and stuck it on the front side of the glass. Voila: Art! The two other frames are just plastic paper holders from Staples. It takes 3 seconds to switch out the pictures so it will be a rotating display of Little Evan's creations.

Inspiration for some of the projects found here on my Crafty Pinterest board.

Now, does anyone have any suggestions for turning a plain beige metal filing cabinet into something prettier? AND DON’T SAY SPRAY PAINT.

I don’t even know who I am anymore.

Sticks. Trash. Should be thrown away or at the very most turned into mulch.

I was out in the garden this week, cutting back a stupid useless vine of some sort that keeps trying to grow up the side of our house and stuffing it into a trash can to haul out to the dump. I looked at the bendy, twiggy vine all curled up in the can and thought “hey, it looks kind of like a wreath.” And then instead of doing the TOTALLY NORMAL PERSON THING and throwing it away I cut a few more branches, dragged them inside, trimmed them up and made a damn wreath.

I started with some long ones and just twisted them together. I used an extra thin twig to tie the ends.

By hand. With sticks. Sitting on the floor of my living room. When I could have been doing something useful like knitting or blogging or picking my toenails.

Then I twisted different sized twigs around and tucked in the ends until it was wreath-sized.

Oh but I didn’t stop there. I dragged out my craft box and glue gun and the felt flowers I made last year and decorated that bitch right up.

Junk I keep in a box for moments like this where I lose my mind.

I started with some ribbon and tulle and yarn, because those look nice on a wreath, right?

I really half-assed it on the bow

Then I used the glue gun to attach some felt leaves and flowers.

Hot glue: the lazy crafter's best tool

And because, hey, naptime lasts forever right? I’ve got all the time in the world to waste! I stitched up couple of little buds to fill in the gaps.

Just makin' it up as I go

A little more hot glue, a loop of ribbon for a hanger and BOOM. My front door has been spring-ified for exactly zero dollars.

Too bad I made a brown wreath for a brown door. Stupid.

Take your $6 stick wreath and SHOVE IT, craft store. Ain't got nothin' on me.

And that’s the end of today’s craft project. I’ll be in the kitchen, drinking wine straight from a bottle and wondering when my life became so boring this is what I do for fun.

I am currently less than 50% of the way through two separate adult-sized sweaters (one for myself, one for E) so of course I’ve spent all my spare time this week starting brand new small projects instead of working on them. I am a fickle knitter who gets bored with the same yarn and the same pattern over and over and little extra projects keep me from quitting altogether.

Here’s what I’ve made in the last week and a half:

Reusable coffee coozies

I finally finished up the last 2 of these I wanted to send to friends. All I need now is time to get to the post office. I’m glad these are the last two I’ve promised to make because I am sick to DEATH of them. (Original pattern found here, but I’ve changed a lot of it)

My first attempt at baby socks

I have always said I hated knitting socks and I’ve only ever knit one before. Not one pair, one SOCK. The second one is less than 1/2 an inch long and still on my needles. But BABY socks are baby sized, and these took only a couple of hours. I made a counting mistake on the first one that I just fudged and a couple of knit vs. purl mistakes on the second one that I had to rip out and do over but even with the frustrating parts they are so adorable I don’t even care. I see a lot more tiny socks in my future. (Garter stripe baby socks pattern found here)

Blanket buddy rabbit

This was SO EASY and SO CHEAP to make – it’s done in dishcloth cotton, which you can buy at Walmart for only a couple of dollars and takes less than 1 ball. It’s all seamless so nothing can be pulled apart and the face is stitched on with yarn so there are no choking hazards which makes it perfect for babies. I had this yarn left from the very first time I ever bought yarn (EVER!) and found the pattern in one of my 1-skein pattern books. If you’re a new-ish knitter who only makes hats and scarves this would make a great next step project.

Baby and toddler bibs

More dishcloth cotton AND a pattern I made up myself. Well, ok, I modeled it off a nearly identical bib my friend Megan gave me as a baby gift but still – no pattern. You are only impressed if you’ve never knit a stitch in your life. Otherwise you know it does not get any easier than a garter stitch square. These are gifts for someone who happens to be a knitter so I hope she knows they were made with LOVE even if it wasn’t with hours and hours of time.

Tiny bunny

Finally, I present OH MY GOD the cutest little 15 minute knitting project ever from Mochimochi Land. I stumbled onto these on Ravelry this afternoon and made this one approximately 30 seconds later. Then I spent two hours squeeing over their other patterns and wondering why I hadn’t been knitting these adorable little things for months and months already?

You know your husband loves you when he'll pose with your tiny bunny

I have already made another, slightly larger one for the toddler to play with and plan to make a few more. They keep multiplying like…well…rabbits. I will build a bunny army!

And now I guess it’s time to get back to my sweaters. Sigh. At least I have all summer to finish them.