Posts Tagged ‘worst preschool shows on television’

Vote for the Worst Kids Show On Television! SEMI-FINALS!

Thursday, March 28th, 2013

worst kids shows on television

Amy and I split the last two rounds so I’m hosting semi-finals today and she’s hosting the FINAL ROUND on Monday. This is it! You’re last chance to vote on which show is the WORST kids show on television.

In a little bit of a surprise upset this week, Barney was voted WORSE than Caillou. I agree, but the internet mostly doesn’t – try Googling “Caillou sucks” sometime. But before you get mad, think about it. IT’S BARNEY. Barney, who’s been torturing parents for 18 years. Barney, a giant purple ¬†T-Rex whose mouth doesn’t move when he talks and steals your children to go on “adventures”. Barney, who sings the absolute most mind-numbingly terrible theme song on the plant. Here: “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family! With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won’t you say you love me too!” CO-DEPENDENT MUCH, BARNEY?

Barney is terrible. But against Choo Choo Soul? Dude, I’m not even voting this round. I CAN’T CHOOSE.

 

barney vs choo choo soul

Which is WORSE?

  • Barney (73%, 24 Votes)
  • Choo Choo Soul (27%, 9 Votes)

Total Voters: 33

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The second match up is The WotWots vs. Dora. Let’s be honest here – I have no idea what a WotWot is. I’m sure they’re really, really annoying if your kid makes you watch them all the time. BUT. Dora. DORA THE EXPLORER. Come to my house, put my children in the car, and listen to Caroline shout “WHERE ARE WE GOING??? WHERE ARE WE GOING!!!!” for 20 minutes straight and try telling me Dora isn’t THE WORST.

the wotwots vs dora the explorer

Which is WORSE?

  • Dora the Explorer (72%, 23 Votes)
  • The WotWots (28%, 9 Votes)

Total Voters: 32

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VOTE NOW! A MEANINGLESS INTERNET CONTEST DEPENDS ON IT! Check out the whole bracket here and on Monday don’t forget to go vote in the Final Showdown on Amy’s blog!

Vote for the Worst Kids Show On Television! Round 4

Monday, March 25th, 2013

worst kids shows on television

 

ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE????? We’re almost at the end of the Worst Kids Show On Television¬†now and the last couple rounds will be fast, so be sure to vote and share. There’s a real posibility we could have an upset here – going into the competition Amy and I thought the inevitable final round would be Caillou vs Dora, but with that bald little Canadian taking on the worst singing dinosaur in the history of singing dinosaurs it’s anyone’s game.

First match up: Caillou vs Barney

caillou vs barney

Caillou Fun Fact: Caillou is bald because in the original book series he is a much younger child, not because he has a terrible medical condition. The books were also in French, although that still doesn’t explain the incessant whining.

Barney Fun Fact: The song “I Love You” from Barney & Friends has been used to “coerce’ detainees at Guantanamo, which comes as a surprise to no one who as ever listened to it. Critics have complained Barney’s world is too happy and smiley and might in fact damage children’s ability to deal with negative emotions.

Which is WORSE?

  • Barney (53%, 24 Votes)
  • Caillou (47%, 21 Votes)

Total Voters: 45

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Second match up: Choo Choo Soul vs. 3rd and Bird

choo choo soul vs 3rd and bird

Choo Choo Soul Fun Fact: DC the beatboxing conductor’s real name is Constantine and Genevieve also sings all the Disney Jr theme music. Bonus fact: if you tweet about how terrible Choo Choo Soul is, Genevieve might tweet you back and then you’ll feel bad about it for ages. True story.

3rd and Bird Fun Fact: Made by the same people as the WonderPets (which explains why there’s a character with a terrible speech impediment), 3rd and Bird uses a technique called “photo-puppetry” to achieve their super weird and slightly creepy animation style. The little girl who voices Muffin was once on an episode of 30 Rock.

Which is WORSE?

  • Choo Choo Soul (54%, 22 Votes)
  • 3rd and Bird (46%, 19 Votes)

Total Voters: 41

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Now go check out some trivia and the round 4 match ups on Amy’s blog.

Vote for the Worst Kids Show On Television! Round 3

Monday, March 18th, 2013

worst kids shows on television

 

This is the last round where shows are competing only against shows on their own network, so we’re getting close to deciding the Worst Preschool Show on Television. You can see the bracket here.

To make these match-ups easier, I’m going to provide you with actual (terrible) clips so you can truly experience how bad these shows are. If you’re one of my loyal but childfree readers, you’ve probably felt left out since no one in your house forces you to watch ANY of these terrible shows. Dismay no more! Now you can see just why everyone hate Caillou (and Bob and Barney and Choo Choo Soul) SO VERY MUCH.

Game on! (Apologies if all the videos don’t show up, I fought with them for a long time and they’re not very reliable.)

Our first match up is the whiniest Canadian ever to invade America vs. some sketchy guy named Bob who might be working under the table.

vs.

Which is WORSE?

  • Caillou (88%, 44 Votes)
  • Bob the Builder (12%, 6 Votes)

Total Voters: 50

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Next is Barney (ugh) versus The Wiggles. I like this match up, since both involve real live humans, who I imagine spend a ton of time getting incredibly drunk and wondering how much longer before they hit rock bottom.

Link to the Barney Theme Song

vs.

Link to The Wiggles Intro Video

Which is WORSE?

  • Barney (78%, 35 Votes)
  • The Wiggles (22%, 10 Votes)

Total Voters: 45

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Our third match up is an easy one for me, but you be the judge. Choo Choo Soul versus Higglytown Heroes (which doesn’t seem to exist online, so all I can find is the theme song over a still photo. But trust me, it’s not that bad.)

Link to Choo Choo Soul

vs.

Link to the Higglytown Heroes Song

Which is WORSE?

  • Choo Choo Soul (73%, 32 Votes)
  • Higglytown Heroes (27%, 12 Votes)

Total Voters: 44

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And our last match up today is 3rd & Bird against Sam Sandwich. Caroline HATES Sam Sandwich, but Evan hates 3rd and Bird, so it’s a toss up in our house. Wait, that’s not really true. I’ll take a sandwich teaching my kids to eat their vegetables over a parakeet with a speech impediment any day. Also, the 3rd & Bird clips online are all from the British version, so their accents are cuter than the version Disney plays. DON’T LET THAT FOOL YOU.

Link to 3rd & Bird

vs.

Link to Sam Sandwich

Which is WORSE?

  • 3rd and Bird (66%, 25 Votes)
  • Sam Sandwich (34%, 13 Votes)

Total Voters: 38

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Now go and vote on Amy’s round 3 brackets! I think she has theme songs too, so you can vote on the shows you might not have seen yet too.



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