The plight of the second child
I started this blog for Baby Evan, my original bebeh, so EVERY POST for the first 12 months was related to growing him, feeding him, caring for him and loving him. There were a few posts that had more to do with my own life or opinions, but I would argue that everything that’s gone in my life in the last 24 months* was directly influenced by his presence. No scrapbook in the WORLD is as detailed as this blog is when it comes to recording every single magical poop filled moment of a child’s life.
And now I am 12 weeks pregnant. OMG. 12 weeks pregnant means I am in my second trimester with Sandy and I’ve written about it less than half a dozen times. I have no tag for “first trimester”. Most days I barely have time to think about being pregnant, let alone dwell on it. When people ask me “So how are you feeling?” I stare at them kind of blankly for a minute until I remember they’re asking due to my knocked-upped-ness. I haven’t bought a single baby item or browsed a single website for nursery inspiration. I don’t even know if we’re going to do a nursery this time – we know we like co-sleeping for at least 6 months so why disturb our guest room? I haven’t made a giant list of names or sat super still for hours wondering if I was feeling baby flutters or just gas (seriously, I totally still can’t tell) or planned a baby shower** or bought a baby book or taped the ultrasound pic to the fridge (I don’t even know where I PUT it) or…or…or anything. Most of the time I think I’ve imagined the whole thing and I should start packing up these unused maternity clothes to put them in the attic.
I would add I’m doing a BETTER job of a lot of things this time around – I’m eating much healthier for one. After everyone’s suggestions on what to feed Baby Evan I’ve started keeping a lot more fruit in the house and yesterday I ate my body weight in berries. With Baby Evan the only thing I ate my weight in was french fries. (The fact that I’ve had minimal morning sickness this time helps immensely.) I’m staying active, and by active I mean “going to Stroller Strides regularly and running after Baby Evan all day”, not “buying a prenatal yoga DVD I do twice before I start fast forwarding to the part at the end where we focus on relaxing, i.e. lying down”. I have officially gained zero pounds so far and I no longer think I’m destined to exceed last pregnancy’s highest number. I am reading a totally different set of books, reading a different set of message boards, asking a different set of questions, all of which mean I will be better prepared for birth and the super-important moments immediately afterward. Sandy is going to have a lot of advantages thanks to my been-there-done-that knowledge – if I don’t simply forget to go into labor because Baby Evan just said “Luv you mama!” for the first time or is throwing a screaming temper tantrum in the mall or because it’s freakin’ CHRISTMAS and I am WAY too busy to stop and push out a watermelon baby.
I fear at this rate, my (imaginary future) third child is destined to star in it’s very own episode of I Didn’t Even Know I Was Pregnant.
*Proof I am indeed pregnant: I had to use both my fingers AND a calculator to figure out what 9ish months of pregnancy plus 14ish months of life totaled.
**I’m going to have a baby party instead of a shower, hosted by myself, with a cake and punch and decorations but no presents. I might not be spending as much time dwelling on this pregnancy but I want Sandy to know s/he was just as worthy of a party as Baby Evan.***
***Which I’m pretty sure proves I’m not doing quite as badly as I think I am.
Tags: 12 weeks, baby 2, baby evan, blogging, internet, motherhood, pregnancy, sandy, second trimester
As a second child (of 2), just make sure everyone gets some new stuff, if possible, besides for holidays. My sister would get new clothes for school, I would get her old clothes. Until I grew taller, then I got new pants. Woo! Also, it is probably true that you will document less. When we cleaned out my parent’s house, my sister and I found her baby book and my baby envelope. But none of that really matters. What matters is that I never felt any less loved or supported. I don’t think you are going to have any problems with that for number 2, 3 or even 4…
Wow! I can’t believe it’s been 12 weeks already!!! It seems like that dragged on forever the first time!
I was the 2nd, but the big differences were:
1. The 1st was a boy (I’m obviously NOT a boy).
2. He came seven YEARS before me, so the baby stuff had been long gone.
3. Mom had had fertility problems and a miscarriage between us and thought she wouldn’t have more children.
4. I was a complete and total surprise pregnancy–but desperately wanted.
So my whole life, from the day Mom went to the doc thinking she had the flu ’til now, I’ve been just as celebrated, documented and spoiled as the first baby. : )
I was the 2nd, but the big differences were:
1. The 1st was a boy (I’m obviously NOT a boy).
2. He came seven YEARS before me, so the baby stuff had been long gone.
3. Mom had had fertility problems and a miscarriage between us and thought she wouldn’t have more children.
4. I was a complete and total surprise pregnancy–but desperately wanted.
So my whole life, from the day Mom went to the doc thinking she had the flu ’til now, I’ve been just as celebrated, documented and spoiled as the first baby. : )
And make sure you take pictures! Since you’ve clearly already got the photography bug, I bet both kids will be pretty well documented…but I was the First GrandBaby on my dad’s side and First Girl on my mom’s side so I have two gloriously 80s padded albums devoted entirely to my first 3 years of life. My brother (7 years later) apparently was born and then morphed into an 18-month-old when he made friends at preschool and my mom/his friends moms started taking pictures of him again.
You are not alone! Although we had started thinking of names- we were back to the drawing board when we found out it was a boy (“I can’t think of a name for a boy, because there is no name I like as much as JD’s”), and last night I seriously told my husband I was worried because there is no way baby #2 can be as cute and lovable as JD is, and how sad it will be for him. He laughed at me, and then I cried. (damn hormones) There has been only one belly picture this time- not every week like with JD, and now that we’re planning his 1st birthday, I can’t even think of another party! My only prayer is that baby #3 will be a girl so there will be hope.