This is the last round where shows are competing only against shows on their own network, so we’re getting close to deciding the Worst Preschool Show on Television. You can see the bracket here.

To make these match-ups easier, I’m going to provide you with actual (terrible) clips so you can truly experience how bad these shows are. If you’re one of my loyal but childfree readers, you’ve probably felt left out since no one in your house forces you to watch ANY of these terrible shows. Dismay no more! Now you can see just why everyone hate Caillou (and Bob and Barney and Choo Choo Soul) SO VERY MUCH.

Game on! (Apologies if all the videos don’t show up, I fought with them for a long time and they’re not very reliable.)

Our first match up is the whiniest Canadian ever to invade America vs. some sketchy guy named Bob who might be working under the table.

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Next is Barney (ugh) versus The Wiggles. I like this match up, since both involve real live humans, who I imagine spend a ton of time getting incredibly drunk and wondering how much longer before they hit rock bottom.

Link to the Barney Theme Song

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http://youtu.be/4auhFFmzEtg

Link to The Wiggles Intro Video

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Our third match up is an easy one for me, but you be the judge. Choo Choo Soul versus Higglytown Heroes (which doesn’t seem to exist online, so all I can find is the theme song over a still photo. But trust me, it’s not that bad.)

Link to Choo Choo Soul

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Link to the Higglytown Heroes Song

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And our last match up today is 3rd & Bird against Sam Sandwich. Caroline HATES Sam Sandwich, but Evan hates 3rd and Bird, so it’s a toss up in our house. Wait, that’s not really true. I’ll take a sandwich teaching my kids to eat their vegetables over a parakeet with a speech impediment any day. Also, the 3rd & Bird clips online are all from the British version, so their accents are cuter than the version Disney plays. DON’T LET THAT FOOL YOU.

http://youtu.be/__NjbjSkhKo

Link to 3rd & Bird

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Link to Sam Sandwich

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Now go and vote on Amy’s round 3 brackets! I think she has theme songs too, so you can vote on the shows you might not have seen yet too.

Ok, before we get to round 2 I need to talk to some of you about what “WORST KIDS SHOWS ON TELEVISION” means. Things that are THE WORST are things you hate. Shows full of shouting and whining and terrible songs and characters that drive you crazy. I know some things are subjective but you guys, really, CAILLOU IS WAY WORSE than Daniel Tiger. Daniel Tiger is adorable. Daniel Tiger is an official spin off of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. Who hates Mr. Rogers?! What kind of monsters are reading my blog??

Luckily, Caillou still won (lost?) so he’s in this week’s Round 2 match-ups. The closest match-up on my blog from last week was Sid The Science Kid vs Thomas The Tank Engine, with Sid beating Thomas by just ONE VOTE. I’m happy to report that all the least-offensive shows (Mickey Mouse, Sesame Street, Sofia the First) are safe. Although apparently I’m one of the only people who willingly watches Octonauts (Creature Report! Creature Report! CREATURE REPORT!) even if the kids aren’t really paying attention. And I think Amy might be a little upset about Word World making it to this round, since she seems to like that creepy-ass show.

By the way, be sure to go over to Amy’s blog and vote for Wow Wow Wubzy since we all know The Fresh Beat Band is actually awesome. If you hate The Fresh Beat Band, please go do something else on the interwebs. May I suggest laughing until tears stream down your face while you watch this video of animals judging you?

Ding ding! Here we go for Round 2!

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Now go over to Amy’s and vote on her brackets for Nick Jr and Hub. We’ll have round 3 up later this week!

It’s March, which means everything is all March Madness ALL THE TIME. Except in my house, because if there’s anything I hate more than basketball it’s teams I’ve never heard of playing basketball. I fully embrace that this might make me un-American, but to try to get myself into the spirit of competition Amy and I have created our own version of March Madness: Which TV show aimed at our preschoolers is the absolute WORST kids show on television? Can anything beat Dora’s screaming? Is Caillou the clear champion? Or can the Wonderpets come from behind to prove once and for all that they are sewious?

The game: we made “divisions” based on four channels (Nick Jr, Disney Jr, Hub and Sprout/PBS) and tried to keep it sort of limited to shows aimed at preschoolers, just to narrow it down.  We will each host two channels and voting will narrow things down to a final four, one from each channel, which will narrow down to an ultimate showdown deciding the worst preschool show on television. The bracket can be viewed here.

I’m hosting Disney Jr & Sprout/PBS and Amy  has Nick Jr & Hub.

Today’s face-offs are for Disney Jr! Let’s go!

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Now go to Amy’s and vote on Nick Jr shows. And come back tomorrow for the Sprout/PBS showdowns!