Posts Tagged ‘gross’

Maybe I’m licking sidewalks in my sleep

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

I’ve gotten to the point in pregnancy when people start saying “Oh, you don’t have long now!” both because I am visibly huge and also because it feels – even to other people – like I’ve been pregnant FOREVER. I was pregnant when it was cold in the spring, pregnant when it was hot in the summer, pregnant during the beautiful fall colors and now it is cold again and I am STILL PREGNANT. It depresses me a little to have to say “Yes, well, 6 weeks isn’t that long” even though it feels like the longest amount of time it’s ever taken anyone to finish doing anything ever.

Of course, then I go to the mall and see the Christmas decorations and turn on the radio and hear Christmas music and think about the fact that I only have 6 weeks to finish all these knitting projects and OMG IT’S SO SO SOON! I NEED MORE TIME! I CANNOT POSSIBLY HAVE ANOTHER BABY!

Despite my mixed feelings, I am quickly nearly the point where my personal level of physical discomfort is greater than my fear of keeping an infant alive. Besides the kicked in the crotch pelvic pain, I have horrible sciatic nerve pain in my left leg – which seems like a total “DUH”, considering that’s the hip I’m constantly carrying a toddler around on. The doctor gave me a ridiculous pamphlet on stretches that are supposed to help (stand with your back against a wall! sit in the butterfly position! try the cat-cow pose from yoga!) but considering I’ve been doing ALL OF THOSE several times a day for the last 8 months I think my only hope at this point is a daily Tylenol or two and lots of lying down.

Of course, lying down just makes my heartburn worse, although I’m not sure it could get any MORE worse (more worse?? really, Suzanne?) than it is right now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m not even that interested in food, because I know it’s going to hurt so much later. Plus I have this terrible taste in my mouth that I can’t get rid of. I’ve never experienced anything like it before (while pregnant or not pregnant) but it’s totally gross. At first I thought it was an aftertaste from an artificial sweetener in something I was eating or drinking but I tried switching to water & full fat/real sugar food and it doesn’t help. I tried Googling it but the internet is torn between suggesting I just brush my teeth more and a horrible, birth-defect causing mineral deficiency and suggesting I should be eating more marmite and tahini. I don’t even know what marmite is. I’m going to mention it at next week’s OB checkup but I’m guessing it’s just another of those annoying, unimportant symptoms that will go away immediately after giving birth thanks to the mommy amnesia.

Wait, what was I talking about?

I guess the good news is my hemorrhoids aren’t nearly as bad as last time. Knock on wood.

Advice appreciated.


And for my very last giveaway of Giveaway Week, the winner of the $25 credit to Becca’s Hugs & Kisses Designs shop is…

#2 Katherine from the lovely blog The Flowers in Her Hair! Katherine, I sent Becca an email so hopefully she can set you up ASAP and you can start TRYING to pick out something to buy. Good luck choosing though, what with the beautiful fabric items AND the prints!

And to all my readers, thank you so much for your participation and your patience with my giveaways. I know some people get totally bored and hate entering and some people LOVE the chance to win free stuff, but it is just so fun to work with great handmade shops I can’t resist. I tried to make them as easy and requirement free as possible, but hopefully you found some new Twitter friends, blogs to read, and places to do your Christmas shopping.



Itchy & Scratchy & Boring

Monday, October 18th, 2010

Today I get to take the dog to the vet, something I’ve been seriously dreading because a) he is impossible to control in the presence of other dogs b) it always costs an arm and a leg and c) he has fleas. Now I HAVE to take him to the vet to get some of the real fancy flea medicine instead of the stuff they sell at the pet store and get a speech from the vet about how if I had been keeping up the regimen monthly the way you’re supposed to he wouldn’t have fleas at all. Thank you, yes, I know. I am sufficiently contrite over my lack of good pet care. Fleas are one of those things you forget the awfulness of when you haven’t had to deal with them in years and years. And then suddenly you notice the cat keeps scratching her neck and within hours you can feel them crawling ALL OVER YOUR BODY ALL THE TIME. BECAUSE THEY ARE.

And then you find a flea on the baby’s head and you are the worst mother in the whole world.

So I’m taking the uncontrollable dog to the vet to spend an arm and a leg and get the speech and buy buckets and buckets of Frontline or whatever it is that actually kills these damn creepy crawlies. The dog and the cat version. Then we’re all going to the aquarium for a few hours while we bug bomb the house, floor by floor. Because if we don’t do something soon the cat won’t be the only one scratching her skin off in an attempt to feel less itchy. EW.


In less disgusting (but probably incredibly boring) news, we drove up to USA Baby yesterday to actually try out the Uppababy before buying it and…um…I don’t think I want it anymore. The rumble seat is not the magical solution to all our double-stroller issues. The whole reason I NEED a double is for Stroller Strides and/or sightseeing type trips to the zoo or aquarium or city and the rumble seat of the the Uppa only faces in. Not great for, you know, seeing stuff or keeping a toddler entertained during mommy’s workout. I think if I was buying a stroller for our first baby that had the ability to work for a 2nd (or 3rd) baby I would be totally sold but after actually putting my toddler in it and imagining how it would work with an infant I’m less in love. It’s more of a “single stroller that can accommodate more than one kid” stroller than a “works great for 2 under 2” stroller.

Plus, we got to try out the Baby Jogger City Select, one of the strollers from my original list but a brand no one I know seems to have any experience with. It’s…cool. Really cool. It works the way I had imagined the Uppa would – baby/toddler can sit in either seat, face all different directions, works with an infant up to a 45 lb kid – AND it can be a single stroller when you don’t need both seats. E loves it & is MUCH more excited about it than he was the Uppa. I was very impressed, despite not wanting to be impressed. I WANTED to love the Uppa and join the Kool Kids Who Have One Klub. I WANTED a pretty orange stroller. I WANTED to buy a stroller NOW, not spend another week thinking about it.

Also, even buying the Uppa from the (stupid) baby store on sale, it costs more than the Baby Jogger.

So the only thing keeping me from committing to the City Select RIGHT NOW is…it’s not orange. Tell me that’s the worst reason ever for making such a big decision.

Or how about this one: I don’t want to tell the baby store I’m not buying the Uppa they had brought over from the other store. Even though as of Sunday they STILL didn’t even have a rumble seat (hence driving somewhere else to try one). It’s that same feeling of dread I get when a salesperson in a clothing store helps me find stuff and then I have tell them I don’t want it after all. Shopping guilt. As if the inconvenience of helping me some how means I’m obligated to spend my money, even if they weren’t that helpful to being with.

Does that sound crazy or do you know what I’m talking about?


I asked for advice this weekend on what sort of stuff you love/hate on blogs. If you have a second, can you offer me your suggestions?I’m getting all itchy to redesign stuff (or maybe it’s just the fleas) and don’t want to accidentally ruin a good thing.

And speaking of things you hate on blogs, they reset the Top Baby Blogs, which means I’m going to beg for votes for a few days. I’ve met a TON of other awesome bloggers through that list so staying in the top 20 40 50 100 gives me the chance to meet even more mamas. I appreciate it bunches and bunches!

Vote For Us @!


Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

I think I may have accidentally given birth to a goat. Despite having a whole room full of toys – plus the world’s most tolerant dog and two loving parents willing to play – my child is obsessed with trash. I swear he wasn’t tall enough to reach into our trash can last week but he seems to have grown two feet overnight and can now not only reach in but operate the push-lid latch. It’s disgusting. I didn’t mind when he decided he loved remote controls. I got over it when he started dragging my shoes around like they were lovies. I was even OK with the dog licking. But pulling actual garbage out of the dirty nasty can and chewing on it? NOT OK.

Of course, I mean not OK after I take pictures of him doing it. Please note the toys he has to literally climb over to play with his trash, in case you doubted I was providing him with plenty of alternatives.

That's not a kite, it's the plastic wrapping from around a Stop & Shop bouquet of flowers.

Oooooooo an empty tissue box! It was actually a full tissue box before he pulled out and chewed up all the tissues.

I have no words for this one.