I think I may have accidentally given birth to a goat. Despite having a whole room full of toys – plus the world’s most tolerant dog and two loving parents willing to play – my child is obsessed with trash. I swear he wasn’t tall enough to reach into our trash can last week but he seems to have grown two feet overnight and can now not only reach in but operate the push-lid latch. It’s disgusting. I didn’t mind when he decided he loved remote controls. I got over it when he started dragging my shoes around like they were lovies. I was even OK with the dog licking. But pulling actual garbage out of the dirty nasty can and chewing on it? NOT OK.

Of course, I mean not OK after I take pictures of him doing it. Please note the toys he has to literally climb over to play with his trash, in case you doubted I was providing him with plenty of alternatives.

That's not a kite, it's the plastic wrapping from around a Stop & Shop bouquet of flowers.

Oooooooo an empty tissue box! It was actually a full tissue box before he pulled out and chewed up all the tissues.

I have no words for this one.