Pink for Happiness

When I wrote out my New Year goals, I made a corresponding list of rewards for reaching certain milestones. People do this all the time, often to great effect. Once you lose some weight you can buy new shoes! Get a manicure! Take a vacation! You deserve nice things because you’ve worked so hard! So for two months now I’ve been thinking about the new tattoo I’ll get or the new haircut I’ll splurge on or the new jeans I will buy. Eventually. Someday.

And in the meantime I’ve felt dumpy and boring and unattractive. It’s really too bad there’s a law that says being overweight means I can’t have nice things.

OH. WAIT.

The idea that my pants size should prevent me from treating myself well is bullshit. Bullshit I say! It’s part of that terrible, dangerous idea that if only I weighed X all my problems would be solved. It’s putting my life on hold until I achieve some arbitrary ideal that matters exactly zero point zero percent to anyone. It didn’t work when I was 17, it didn’t work when I was 23, and it’s not going to work now when I’m 30. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to knock it off, but instead I will tell you:

You will never, ever get to a weight that will MAKE you happy. You can choose to be happy right now.

Reward yourself for surviving today. Buy new shoes because they make you smile. Buy new jeans because they make the ass you have look fantastic. Get a scoop of ice cream because ice cream is delicious. Book a massage because life is stressful and massages are awesome. Get a manicure because it makes you feel good about yourself and when you feel good about yourself you treat yourself better – both physically and mentally.

I’m not saying I’m quitting my diet. I’m not saying I don’t still want to be thinner. I’m not saying I won’t celebrate when I get to my milestones. But it’s so much easier to not eat my feelings when my feelings are happy, light and beautiful. Why not do something now that makes me feel good?

Pink hair. My 10th grade self just squeed with joy.

I am done waiting to be happy. I am doing nice things for myself today, right now. I don’t have to earn my happiness – I am choosing to love myself today.

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29 Responses to “Pink for Happiness”

  1. Robyn says:

    Yay! Pink hair! you’re so brave! and you are completely right. why do we think we will be happier if we are thinner? i’ve put on weight over the years, and i keep thinking if i get back to my 22 year old weight i’ll be happier (of course i mean after this baby comes out), but i wasn’t happy with that weight at the time, so why do i think i’ll be magically happy if i’m that weight now. and i am way happier in my life now than i ever was at 22, so it makes even less sense to think losing the weight will help. plus, my husband is still very much attracted to me, even 6.5 months pregnant, so WHO exactly do i think i need to lose this weight for? i just hope i can find a way to not let my daughter inherit these thoughts.

  2. Kimberly says:

    You are so right! This year, I’m trying to focus on the fact that I can’t wait for other people to make me happy- I have to make it happen for myself. And that is pretty freeing.
    I love the pink hair! :)

  3. Krista Tockey says:

    I love it! You ARE beautiful, and i’m glad you did something for yourself!

  4. Shari says:

    I LOVE this. I’m a big believer in the fact that we create our own luck instead of finding it – so why not do the same with happiness? Such a hopeful, exhilarating way to live.

  5. Jennie says:

    I’ve always wanted to do something wacky with my hair! It looks awesome. I love that it’s a pee-a-boo affect.

    You GO GIRL!

  6. MKP says:

    Yaaaaaay! Makes me wish I was remotely capable of maintaining long hair so I could do it too.

    And yes. The idea of basing rewarding yourself/self love on weight or money earned or any other external milestone is just so much bullcrap.

    We are enough.

  7. Holly says:

    You are beautiful no matter what you weigh:). I stopped weighing myself over a year ago. Feels great!

  8. MomEinstein says:

    You’re absolutely right! It’s good to have rewards for reaching your goals just like it’s good to do nice things for yourself for no reason at all. Being a certain weight or size doesn’t automatically equal happiness. Glad you did something NOW that makes you happy.

  9. Stacy says:

    LOVE IT! I bet your kids think they have the coolest mom ever!

  10. This post? I love :)

    Your hair? I’m jealous of :)

  11. Katie E says:

    Awesome hair! And great points. I feel the same way about myself so much of the time. And I have been waiting on a much needed haircut and some new clothes for work because I haven’t done well with my weight loss. I think I should wait on the clothes because I really am hoping to lose more weight, but I think you’ve inspired me to go ahead and get the haircut I’ve been wanting.

  12. I almost just squeed at my desk. LOVE.

  13. Heather says:

    I needed to read this today, so thank you. :) I kept thinking that if I could just weigh X I would feel SO! MUCH! BETTER! about myself. So I lost the weight last year and (SURPRISE!) it hasn’t been the magic silver bullet I had hoped. I do feel better about myself, but honestly? Still mostly the same. And of course now I think I need to lose five MORE pounds and THAT will really change things. (I am head/desk-ing at myself at this point.) I’m in such a slump right now that something has got to give. I don’t know why I’ve been holding out so long on doing something for myself…but a haircut and a few new pieces for spring wouldn’t kill me…and it would probably make me a happier mom/wife/person.

    Loving the pink! You look like a rock star!

  14. Leah says:

    HAWT!
    I so wish I could get away with something like that at work. I think even reverting to the purply red of my youth would have management clutching their pearls.

  15. mandy says:

    excuse me whilst i mouthkiss this post.
    LOVE the hair and love you.

  16. sarrible says:

    Pink hair! Did you do it with Kool-Aid?

  17. Love, love, love, love, love this.

    I’m dieting right now, and I keep forgetting to give myself some grace. The guilt is crushing. I’m bookmarking this post so I can kick my guilt’s ass the next time it shows its face.

    Thank you.

  18. Rici says:

    Love this! Love the hair!! Keep those positive thoughts running through your head! You’re worth it!

  19. Kodi says:

    ***slow clap***

    LOVE this. You’re brilliant, my friend.

  20. Elaine says:

    YES!! Love this!! I am smiling so big right now after reading it. Good for you and thanks for the inspiring words. I just may go get that pedicure I need ASAP…

    p.s. I adore the hair!

  21. Audrey says:

    Um, that looks dope.

  22. Robyn says:

    Hey, this is a few days late, so hopefully people will still check out this link.

    http://blog.pigtailpals.com/2011/08/waking-up-full-of-awesome/

    I think it applies…

  23. tracey says:

    Good for you! I will also add that we will never again be as YOUNG as we are today! In ten years, I will look at myself and marvel over how FEW gray hairs and how FEW wrinkles I had. I will probably also think I was stupid for wishing to be thinner instead of wishing to be HEALTHIER. So I try to remember that when I get into a funk.

    Love the pink hair. :)

  24. I’m so jealous – I’ve definitely toyed with the idea of pink hair, but haven’t actually done it. You look terrific!

  25. […] but couldn’t decide if what I needed was a color fix or if I should just do something fun like the pink I did a couple years ago. She mentioned bleach shampoo, which I had never heard of but from the name it seemed […]

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