He’s driving me ABSOLUTELY INSANE lately – truly, truly, maybe it’s time to talk to someone because of my rage insane – but when he tells me he’s “so tired mommy” and needs to cuddle and give me hugs? I am the luckiest person on the planet.

I am so enjoying seeing this across from me at breakfast again.

Cream cheese mustache and juice

No matter HOW whiney and stinky and demanding toddlers can be, they sure are more fun than a kidney infection. Especially ones who give good night kisses on demand and sleep all night. I am going to be SO SCREWED when the new baby comes and I’m back to 24/7 infant care – my body has totally readjusted to need more than 5+ hours a night again.

I missed Little Evan’s official monthday on the 5th (Dear Future Evan reading this: BLAME YOUR SISTER) but here’s the latest update from the Baby Center Milestone Chart:

21 Month Milestones (oops, that’s a month ahead, thanks for calling me out Robyn! 20 Month milestones below)(but I’m leaving this up because to be honest, I really doubt I’ll be remembering to do them with a week old baby hanging around anyways)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Can walk up stairs – Walk is such a specific word. Crawl? Yes. Sort of fling himself regardless of personal safety? Definitely. Take actual person sized steps? If someone holds his hand and hauls him up, yes again. But if what it boils down to is an ability to get himself safely up a flight (or three) of stairs then Yes, Absolutely. And fast.
• Able to set simple goals (e.g., deciding to put a toy in a certain place) – He is still Mayor of Trash, but he has also been promoted to Czar of Shoes. And he’s really good at it – you can ask for a specific pair, like “brown boots” or “dada’s shoes” or “MorMor (grandma’s) boots” and he will bring both to you with almost 100% accuracy. Although he also remembers which shoes I wear most often and will bring those by default. Really impressive, right?!

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Throws a ball overhand – Old news.
• Kicks ball forward – Old news.
• Stacks six blocks – Screw you and your block stacks Baby Center. My kid’s too busy learning to unlock my iPhone to mess with blocks.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Names simple picture in a book – Sometimes. Works best with animals and he mostly signs them/makes the noise. But with some encouragement he can name simple things like “apple” or “digger” or “ball”.
• Can walk down stairs – Again with the “walking”. E has been diligently and patiently working on “getting down a flight of stairs safely”, which seems to be going quite well as long as you’re willing to stay out of reach and give him time to scoot down each one on his butt. If he finds himself unattended on a set of stairs (not that that would EVER happen with such a responsible and attentive mother as myself) he will go down backwards. But if you stand next to him on the stairs he will reach for your hand at the same moment he throws himself off the top step.

EDITED TO ADD: 20 Month Milestones for my 20 Month Old who is not 21 Months Old

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Feeds doll – He keeps trying to shove his food into my belly button to “feed” the baby. Does that count?
• Takes off own clothes – Yes. Please see: every picture I’ve taken off him in the past month. Nekkid bebeh!
• Dumps an object in imitation, such as throwing garbage away – MAYOR. OF. TRASH.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Learns words at a rate of ten or more a day – Repeats words at a rate of a zillion a day. Retains and says words on his own at a rate of about 4 or 5 a day.
• Can walk up stairs (but probably not down) – See long-ass stair climbing assessment above.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• May start exploring genitals – No, and I’m a little sad, because that would make for some AWESOME blogging material
• Draws a straight line – On a piece of paper? Not a chance. On my wall? You bet.
• Names several body parts – Points at several body parts on demand, and loves to say “teeth”. But he’s more obsessed with shoes and hats than nose and ear.

You guys are awesome. Amazing. The best readers in the world. Thank you so much for contributing to my March for Babies walk. Our team has raised over $500 in just one week and so far I’ve gotten more donations than any other individual walker. I appreciate your support so so so much. If you tried to use the online form earlier and had unspecified technical trouble, please try again. Every dollar helps ensure babies are born healthy and full-term.

As added incentive for your donations, I’m planning to tweet the whole walk, with updates, complaints, terrible jokes and plenty of adorable baby photos. If you aren’t part of social media 2.o (or whatever version of ridiculously unnecessary connectivity twitter is considered) I’ll rewrite it all as a blog post afterward so everyone can laugh at my suffering. Of course, you can laugh at me for free but won’t it be that much more hilarious if you caused some of it?

And now, some blackmail:

BAM! You’ve just been baby-notized. (That’s hypnotized by babies, in case you couldn’t guess.) First they make you very sleepy, then you act like a fool, then one day you wake up and you don’t even remember what it was like when they were that tiny. And THEN you click on that little purple widget over there ——-> and I love you forever.

I don’t remember where I first saw the Quintessence Breastfeeding Challenge, but I know it was on someone’s brilliant website. I read a lot of brilliant websites. (Ah! I remembered! It was at PhD in Parenting. Brilliant website!) Anyway, after checking out the list of locations and noticing there wasn’t one nearby I emailed a friend who works at Papoose…who emailed one of the owners, Holly…and within twenty minutes she had signed right up.

Today was the day, so at 11 am 7 other mommies and I all “latched on” to promote breastfeeding for healthy, happy babies. Of course, you can’t really tell infants when they need to eat so I don’t think the 8 of us were ever nursing at exactly the same time but we tried. It was great to see a couple of friends from support group and meet some new  moms with slightly older kids. A couple even brought their nursling’s big brothers or sisters so those kids got to breastfeeding as fun and normal. Teaching the next generation, one boob at a time!

Dear Jeopardy,

Although I am confident my child is incredibly gifted and a true genius who will someday cure cancer, discover the secret to cold fusion, and invent a diet pill that causes chocolate to burn fat, lets give him a second to figure out how his hands work and why he can’t fit both in his mouth at once. So maybe you should cool it with the “Your child could be on Jeopardy!” emails for, say, five more years. Or at least until he stop crapping himself. K, thanks.

xoxo

Suzanne

My future genius at 14 weeks.