Last week I spent a great deal of time thinking about and researching preschool options or study abroad programs for Evan next year, but instead of helping me make a decision I’m just MORE confused than I was.

When I looked at a 3-year-old preschool program, my biggest challenge was just tracking down basic information. Where are they? When are they? How much do they cost? You’d think that was all classified information – ESPECIALLY the “how much does it cost?” question. No one wants to tell you until you’ve already taken the tour, brought your kid in for a visit, filled out the paperwork and totally fallen in love with the place. Then SURPRISE! Three day a week preschool costs almost exactly as much a my annual college tuition did! But look, did we show you the llamas the children help care for as part of our animal husbandry program for toddlers?

NO LLAMAS, NO. We cannot eat the things my child learns to knit from your luxurious hair, so we had to choose a less-fancy but totally lovely preschool program. I made my choice and haven’t regretted it for a second since Evan started. I love them so much I started sending Caroline and plan to continue sending her until she’s old enough for one of the public school programs.

So. About those public school programs. There are two options in my town – the charter school and the regular public school. If you had asked me last year, I would have said the k-8 public charter school was absolutely my first choice with our current (not free) preschool as a back up. The regular public school option was third. Of course, that opinion was based on nothing. Truly nothing. Not a single actual thing. I don’t know anyone whose kids go to the public program or take up online English courses from a public school, I just assumed it would be not good based on the fact that my town is slightly economically depressed (am I the only one who pictures a really sad dollar sign anytime someone uses that phrase? Probably). But with that opinion behind me I filled out the charter school application a full year early and then crossed all my crossables.

It didn’t work. Evan is number 15 on the wait list. There are only 22 spots in the classroom, so the chances we’ll get moved up far enough to get in are…not good.

The truth is, I’m not sure how I feel about it. The igcse tuition centre in KL is very, very popular for quality education. There are something like 800 kids on the wait list at any given time – there was a mom on the tour last week who said her 5th grader has been on the list for four years. Getting in through the preschool program is the only way to guarantee a spot in the elementary and middle school programs. But after the tour I wasn’t 100 percent sure it was the place for my kid. There wasn’t anything WRONG with it, I just wasn’t…blown away, I guess? There definitely weren’t any llamas.

Now it looks like he’s going to go to regular preschool at the regular public school. This year they’re starting a whole new consolidated program for all the pre-k’s in our town at one elementary school and it sounds like they’re working really hard to make it amazing. Evan could take the bus – THE BUS – to and from school 5 days a week. They have a gorgeous playground. He will probably know at least one kid in his class, thanks to his extensive social circles. I think I can make the pick-ups and drop-offs work with Caroline’s preschool schedule, so she can stay where she is. But the regular public preschool feeds into the regular public schools and I’m a tiny bit terrified of our town’s middle school. It is a RIDICULOUS thing to worry about, since the chances of us still living here when my children are in middle school are about the same as our chances of winning the lottery, moving to a villa on the coast of France and paying a private online math tutoring teacher for the next 13 years but worrying is my second favorite hobby.

It can really all be summed up as OMG WHO THINKS I AM RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO MAKE THESE DECISIONS FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING? Just like every other parenting decision. A preschool seems like a tiny choice, but it’s a pebble tossed into a pond – the ripples could echo through the rest of their lives. It’s too much. So it’s important to choose which private co educational school is the best. At least now I don’t have to pick which stone to throw?

Hey, remember how I used to knit stuff? Knitting is such a nice relaxing hobby unless you’re other hobby is blogging, because it’s impossible to blog and knit at the same time. Until science perfects the double arm transplant and I have two sets of hands, I’ve been letting my knitting needles gather dust so I could focus on the internet.

But right now I’m just not a very good blogger. I’ve been having a great time doing the Worst Preschool Shows on Television brackets and of course my adorable children make for good picture posts, but I haven’t been in much of a sharing mood. I’m just not feeling like my life is exciting or beautiful enough right now to warrant much sharing.

Part of that is because a lot of my energy has been going into my wife/mom/housekeeper jobs, all of which are demanding a lot more attention than usual. And for possibly the first time ever, I’m going to err on the side of under-sharing and NOT write down every single marriage-related complaint that’s been on my mind. Most of it is the exact same stuff every wife and mother complains about (under-valued, never get a break, blahdy blah blah blah) and at least 75% of that is work-based on E’s part, so it’s not even WORTH complaining about. The Navy doesn’t care if I have a sinus infection. Hell, my children REALLY don’t care if I have a sinus infection. It seems more like they’ve accepted a challenge to see who can make my ear drums burst first.

Also, approximately EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD is pregnant right now and I am…not. I was hoping to I’d be announcing another (maybe) ginger baby any day now, but my uterus remains uninvaded. It’s not a tragedy. It’s not even a demi-crisis yet – trying for a few months unsuccessfully isn’t even close to secondary (tertiary?) infertility and I have no reason to complain. But it’s something that’s on my mind a lot and not something I want to write about extensively since I don’t want anyone think I am whining  so I’ve been keeping those thoughts offline.

Instead of blogging I’ve been knitting again. I finally finished a scarf I’ve had on my needles for a year. I’m 75% done with a super cute short sleeved sweater for Caroline. I have big plans to knit for some of those bazillionteen pregnant people’s babies. I also took a big leap and rented a very pricey lens for my camera this weekend, so I’ll be spending every single daylight hour getting the most of it. Not to mention Evan’s birthday is only 3 weeks away and I need to make a hundred feet of pennant banners and plan a menu.

It’s nice to work on something that isn’t my computer for a change. Being busy is an excellent use of time I was spending feeling sorry for myself.

I read a post on BlogHer last week about a mom who has no interest in throwing her kid a Pinterest-style birthday party. I’m not going to link to it directly since I’m not trying to criticize or start a fight with the author. You can easily find it if you want to read the original but the gist was this: “We do low-key parties. I sent some email invites and invited 2 friends and my kid had a super good time…” The part that came after those ellipses was unspoken by the author but was obvious in the comment section. It ranged from “…so planning a big, extravagant party is stupid” to “…so your way is a waste of time” to “…which makes me a better mom because I spent more time with my kid than you did because you were on Pinterest looking for ways to make cupcakes in a mason jar.”

WHOA WHOA WHOA. While I can agree with the premise of the original post (You don’t NEED matching place settings to have a nice birthday! Kids don’t really care!) I would like to register my extreme disagreement with the idea that throwing a Pinterest-inspired kid’s birthday party makes me anything except for someone who likes throwing parties.

I am not a better mom. I am not a worse mom. I am not a busier mom. I am not a slacker mom. I am not a more involved mom. I am not a mom who never plays on the floor with her kids. I am not interested in comparing my kid’s birthday party to your kid’s birthday party. YOU DO YOU. I am just doing something that makes me and my kid happy.

What’s that you say? This sounds just like everything else about parenting? Why yes, I believe you’re correct! Breastfeeding, bottle feeding, make your own baby food, baby-led weaning, cloth diapers, disposable diapers, organic sawdust filled diapers, daycare, preschool, homeschool, unschool, upside-down school, WHATEVER. The effort/non-effort you are willing to put into any of those things doesn’t have anything to do with me. Stop making it a comparison. If you hate it, don’t do it!

I swear to you – double-dog, pinkie-swear, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die-stick-a-thumbtack-in-my-eye swear – that when I bring my kid to your kid’s birthday party at Chuck E Cheese the ONLY thing I am thinking is “Hmmm…Will anyone notice if I eat 4 pieces of pizza?” I am grateful we were invited because it means my kid isn’t a total jerk. I am glad to be out of the house. I am EXTRA glad if there is store-bought cake, since we all know that’s really the best kind. I’ve been to birthdays ranging from 3 kids just hanging out to 30 kids and a bounce house and my kid had fun at all of them.

When I started this big, fancy birthday party thing for Evan’s 1st there WAS no Pinterest. It was the Stone Ages of party planning, where I had to rely on Google Image Search and my own brain. I didn’t even know about paper straws. But I started the planning ball rolling and it just…kept going. I liked it. It was fun, it kept me busy, it was a creative outlet I had been missing during that first hectic new-baby year. Evan REALLY enjoyed his birthday and I enjoyed the compliments. Now it’s become my Thing – birthdays, baby showers, Halloween, whatever – and I’m going to keep doing it as long as the kids are still excited about it. Although one day I’m sure we’ll do Chuck E Cheese – and this year we’re doing a store-bought cake too.

Whew. That was 400 words more than I was planning on writing and probably 600 words more than I actually needed.

TL:DR version – Parties are cool, do whatever you want.

If what you want is a vintage train themed party with an orange and blue color scheme, here’s what I’m planning for Evan’s 4th. I’ve bought about 75% of this already and I’m making/hunting down/crowd-sourcing the rest.

*Giveaway is now closed!*

Back in December, I vowed that as soon as the crazy that was Caroline’s birthday/Christmas was over, I was going to buckle down and find ways to save money. And then, like magic, I got an email in my inbox asking if I’d be interested in reading and giving away a copy of a new book on how to live a happy, abundant life for less. Hey world, next week I want to buckle down and win the lottery! Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that. Fortunately, I did get a copy of The Good Life for Less written by MomAdvice.com founder Amy Allen Clark.

The Good Life for Less ranges in advice from saving money at the grocery store to designing a cute and eye catching frame wall for your house. I really enjoyed the chapters on setting a cleaning schedule (something I’ve always struggled with) and on saving money during the holidays by remembering that the memories are more important than the stuff.  Obviously there were a lot of tips aimed at moms but none of it would be bad for anyone – everyone has a friend getting married or knows someone with a new baby and could use a creative gift idea.

In my opinion, the best part of the book is the plethora of recipes in the middle. I know that these days you can find recipes for almost anything on the internet but having them all together in one place is so nice. Amy covers everything from how to make your own Bisquick mix to what to do with frozen fish to Rainbow Cupcakes baked in mini mason jars (who doesn’t love things in jars?!) One of my favorite tips was to make your own mixes for things like pancakes, cookies and bread in large batches, then keep them in sealed and labeled bags in the pantry so you can whip up whatever you need quickly and at a fraction of the cost of buying all the mixes premade. She also inspired me to dig my bread maker out and give homemade bread another try (“try” is a good word for now, but I’m going to work on it).

I know from my description it sounds very common-sensey. Maybe some of it is. But reading it all written out in The Good Life for Less in a light, conversational style made following the smart and practical advice much easier. It’s not a hard read and you’re definitely going to want to stop at various points to go do that thing you just read right now! It’s a great idea! Do it quick! And then your good life is a little bit better.

The publisher sent me an extra copy of The Good Life for Less (an actual hard copy I’ve hidden from my children so it’s still in excellent shape) to give to one of my readers. If you’re interested, leave a comment on this post. You can tell me something you do to create a good life for less (or you can just tell me my hair looks pretty today – I’m not picky). I’ll pick a random winner next Friday!

You can read more about Amy Allen Clark and her book on her website here, including where and how to buy a hard copy or the e-book version. I was sent a free copy of the book but no other compensation was provided and all opinions are my own.

And the winner is…#16!

Congrats to manda, who was commenter #16! I’ll email you to get your address and put your book in the mail ASAP!

Caroline is still sick with some sort of head cold that manifests itself in snot, misery and a need to be held constantly. Evan isn’t sick with anything I can identify, unless you count being incredibly three-ish a medical condition. Even my new and improved hug-my-babies-tighter-appreciate-every-moment mentality is being put to the test by his completely unreasonable screaming and hitting. I am still hugging him tighter and appreciating my children but I’m doing it while holding back tears of frustration. Those are the days when the best I can do is be thankful that tomorrow will be (HAS to be) better and I am still lucky in so many ways.

Despite the less than ideal conditions in the Davis house now life goes on, the holidays get closer, and everyone needs to be fed…which means we have to leave the house. I’ve been dreading it with every fiber of my being clenched so hard I might break a bone. At home my children can only bother me. In public they can bother everyone. Everyone just trying to get their last minute packages sent and pick up their Christmas ham and buy wrapping paper and get through the day. Everyone who probably has bigger problems than a kid with a runny nose and who don’t deserve to be coughed all over in line for coffee.

But instead of scowls and angry glares, we experienced nothing but kindness. I came home on the brink of tears (I feel like I’m always on the brink of tears these days) not because I was upset but because I was so touched by the kindness around me. Thank you, to everyone:

Thank you to my friend Sara who was extra patient and helpful with my kids during her visit, although I’m afraid I might have scared her out of ever having children.

Thank you to the elderly gentleman in the parking lot who brought me a cart when he saw me trying to bundle a whining Caroline out of the car and into the grocery store.

Thank you to the deli counter ladies who did their best to cheer Caroline up with slices of cheese and compliments.

Thank you to the meat counter guy, the produce guy, the man in the frozen section, the lady in the baking aisle and the cashier who all sympathized with me over how hard it is to get things done when your child isn’t feeling well and wished us health and happy holidays rather than judging me for bringing my sad baby out in public.

Thank you to the Toys R Us employees who were pleasant and helpful during what I know must be a really rough time of year to be a Toys R Us employee. You helped me make a little kid in New York’s Christmas wish come true.

Thank you to the woman at the post office counter who helped me label and box a last minute package while my arms were full of a toddler who wouldn’t let me put her down for even a second.

Thank you to Evan’s teachers who sent home a second jingle bell in his backpack for his sister so they can both believe in the magic of Christmas when we read The Polar Express tonight.

Thank you to everyone going out of your way to be just a little bit kinder or more patient this year. I don’t know if it’s the holiday spirit, our sense of community in Connecticut right now, or just extremely good luck that I’ve encountered so many nice people but I appreciate it more than words can say. My faith-in-humanity meter is no longer hovering below empty. I promise to return the favor.