…have dark circles under them no concealer can hide.

…are coated in yesterday’s smudged mascara.

…haven’t had a brow wax in 4 months.

…are getting wrinkles, but we’ll call them laugh-lines.

…are on the back of her head.

…brim with pride at first steps.

…and brim with tears at first boo boos.

…can see in the dark.

…have seen the same episode of Yo Gabba Gabba a zillionty times.

…read the same bedtime story over and over.

…are hard to pry open after sleepless nights.

…cry tears of frustration.

…cry tears of joy.

…smile more than they frown.

…are full of love for her children.

Happy Valentine’s Day, whoever your Valentine may be.

I owe a major apology to everyone I made fun of or rolled my eyes at when they started talking about BlogHer’10 AGAIN. Like, GOD, come ON, it’s just ONE WEEKEND out of your life, WHY do you need to KEEP talking about it ALL THE TIME? I now realize the error of my ways. Going places and doing things is fun, even if you do spend the entire week before waking up at 5 am in a panic that you will forget your camera or the hotel will have lost your reservation or that every single person you meet will give you the “pregnant or fat” once over and decide “no, just fat”. It’s exhausting and totally thought-consuming and I am smack dab in the middle of it.

Right now I am probably hauling my pregnant butt through an airport somewhere, pinching myself and trying to comprehend just what it was that fooled ANYONE into thinking I deserved to attend a conference as cool as The Creative Connection. I will be making sparkly things and listening to some of the most amazing women speak and sweating through my shirt with nervousness and generally having a totally amazing time. I may even get up the courage to hand out a business card or two, although it’s probably better if none of the super-talented, cool, artsy people ever find there way over HERE.

It would have been even better if I didn’t put the word “crap” on my business cards.

Or the words “bodily fluids”. But hey, hindsight is 20/20 right?

And just because my mom asked me to post it, here’s the 250 word essay that won me my scholarship:

How will attending the Creative Connection Event impact your creativity and/or creative business?

Creativity has always been something I thought was innate. Either you were a creative person or you weren’t – and I definitely wasn’t. I can’t draw to save my life, my poetry sounds like “There once was a man from Nantucket”, my paintings look like they were done by a first grader and as far as style goes…let’s just say I fall somewhere between a 5 -year-old and my grandmother.

But then I did create something, the most amazing something ever, the kind of something that changes your whole life from the second you see those two pink lines. After my son was born in April 2009 I realized creativity isn’t about talent, it’s about the love of making things, whether those things are stories or clothes or art or music or feelings. I stopped being afraid to create and took up knitting and photography and cooking and writing and loved every second of my triumphs and laughed over my mistakes. I learned when you create things you also create joy.

Attending the Creative Connections Conference would be an amazing opportunity to expand my creativity and learn new ways to be joyful. The chance to network with so many amazing and talented women would be a great opportunity for me as a blogger and as a person learning more about her creative side, as untalented as that side might be.

Since becoming a  stay-at-home-baby-incubator/stay-at-home-mother/both I’ve experienced every possible emotion regarding my work/lack of work/OMG SO MUCH WORK, ranging from incredible joy to mind-numbing frustration.

This is the best job in the world, why would I EVER want to do something else?!

God staying home is boring. How many years until kindergarten?

I love spending every second of every day with Baby Evan!

This one-income thing SUCKS. Maybe daycare would be worth looking into.

What do you mean I don’t “WORK”. YOU THINK THIS ISN’T WORK!?!?

I don’t think these feelings are the least bit unusual. It’s a rare person who is always happy with every second of their work or home life, even if they’re doing something they love. You don’t even have to be a mom to have days when your job feels pointless and frustrating and you think you must be missing out on something really awesome, some calling that would make you happy every day, some magical fantastic occupation that other people have but you do not. Dissatisfaction is part of the human condition and our ability to imagine how much BETTER things could be sometimes gets in the way of remember how much WORSE things could be.

You know what cures a good old-fashioned case of the woe-is-me’s? Doing good.

This weekend, I spent a few hours helping set up, working at, and breaking down a tag sale my friend April organized as a fundraiser for the Women’s Center of South Eastern Connecticut. It’s part of her Mommies on a Mission initiative, encouraging members of our Luna Mom’s Club to volunteer their time and talents for good causes, which she runs in addition to owning the Stroller Strides franchise, raising her two kids AND being a dedicated Navy wife. (April is kind of amazing. OK, REALLY amazing.) We raised over $800 in cash plus donations of women’s and children’s clothing for families who have been displaced due to domestic violence and need a new start. It’s amazing that you can turn a bunch of old junk into that kind of support with just a few volunteers and a Saturday morning. Playing just a small part in that good deed has given me the warm-fuzzies all weekend. Now I understand why so many otherwise unemployed housewives run charity events/foundations/galas/raffles. Those ladies-who-lunch are really onto something, even if I still can’t help making fun of their oh-no-my-maid-forgot-to-iron-the-sheets type problems.

I actually can’t wait for our next mission so I can get that happy, satisfied feeling of helping someone else again. Even if you don’t have time to organize or volunteer at an in-person event, doing good can brighten your outlook:

Jill from Baby Rabies’ #helpSam fundraiser reached an incredible total of over $9,000 in 3 weeks, thanks to the generosity of some great companies, bloggers and random internet strangers. I spent an afternoon tweet-spamming every celebrity and semi-celebrity I could think of and knowing I helped just a teeny tiny bit brought me to tears when I saw the incredible video Sam’s family created as a thank you.The giveaways are closed but the Paypal account remains open and donations are always appreciated.

Raising Madison is currently running a fundraiser for Keegan, an 8 month old with Medulloblastoma. She’s got some incredible companies on board (hello, who doesn’t want an ERGO?) and not a huge number of entries so PLEASE go over take a look. Just $5 is enough to help make a difference.

The March of Dimes is always accepting donations to make sure all babies are born healthy and full-term. Our team raised $3,000 during our March for Babies back in April and I loved every second of that damp, muddy walk. I’m already looking forward to next year’s event and would encourage everyone to find a walk in their area.

If you know of any other current fundraisers or causes, please link them in the comments. I would love to bring any attention I can to more people who are trying to live by the rule that small deeds make a world of difference.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.
-Margaret Mead

One is not born into the world to do everything but to do something.
-Henry David Thoreau

I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
-Mahatma Gandhi