True fact: I had to go out and buy a loofah to review this Olay Ultra Moisture Body Wash because I haven’t owned one in years. I subscribe to the “meh, my shampoo sort of dribbles down and gets the rest of me clean enough” school of Shower Techniques. “But Suzanne!” absolutely no one just asked, “What about when you shave?” I don’t want to alarm you, gentle reader, but I used regular old soap. The kind meant to make men less smelly. It’s like I was on a mission to make my knees as rough and scaly as possible. At least I could save money on sandpaper!

In the winter, dry skin is itchy and uncomfortable but easily hidden with pants and sweaters. With spring quickly approaching – not to mention all the shorts I knew I’d be wearing on my vacation – I needed to do something about my dry skin but I don’t want to spend a bunch of time applying moisturizer.

Enter Olay Ultra Moisture Body Wash! First of all, I want to tell you I really, really like how the Olay Body Wash smells. A LOT. It’s like a fancy perfume, kind of reminiscent of lily of the valley, and it stays on my skin for a long time after I shower. The whole bathroom smells fantastic and I’ve been surreptitiously sniffing my arms when I think no one is looking. Second, I LOVE that there’s more than a whole jar of Olay moisturizer in every bottle. The body wash feels rich and creamy and luxurious whether I spread it on directly as shaving cream or on the loofah to wash all over. A small amount goes a long way and it lathers up nicely.

But most importantly, my skin feels great. Even my husband noticed my skin felt smoother, although it might have been because every time I put on a sundress I said, “Look at how soft my skin feels! Touch it! So niiiiice!” I love that using Olay Ultra Moisture Body Wash means I don’t have to waste any time applying moisturizer and I can use that time for more important things, like taking iPhone photos of my kids while they sleep.

Tell me one way you simplify your routine for a chance to win a $50 Visa gift card! Just leave a comment on this post.

Rules:

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post

b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post

c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post

d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 3/20 – 4/17.

Be sure to visit the Olay Body Wash page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win! While we’re on the subject of looking good, you might want to check out the “Looking Your Best” posts in the Life Well Lived section of BlogHer.com. There are some great tips and expert posts!

1. In my quest to wean Caroline, I actually counted the number of times a day she was nursing and realized it was only 5ish during the day and 2 or 3ish at night. (I know that SOUNDS like a lot but in my head she was still nursing every 2 hours so it was a nice surprise.) The first thing I did was cut her down to one night feeding, which amazingly only took one night of rocking instead of immediately shoving a boob in her mouth in my attempt to get back to bed ASAP. The next thing I’ve done is cut down the rest of our nursing sessions to one in the morning, one before nap and one before bed. I figure even if she doesn’t drop all of those before I leave they can easily be replaced with a cuddle and a cup or bottle of milk. My next goal is to drop the morning feeding this weekend, which means I’ll need to stay in bed until at least 11 am. The suffering I go through for my children.

2. The WORST part about trying to discipline my almost-3-year-old is how much it affects my 1-year-old.Yesterday we had to leave the mall right after Stroller Strides because Evan ran off into a store and wouldn’t come back. I had to be that mom I hate being, the one who shout-whispers and threatens and drags her kid around by his arm. And because I had told him he would lose his chance to play on the playground if he ran away I had to follow through and take them BOTH home. Caroline is still too little to be mad for long but I am upset she is missing out on something fun because her brother has forgotten how to understand English. It happens at home too, when I have to put Evan in time out and she loses her playmate or when I have to take away toys because he won’t share.

3. I am actually looking forward to my weigh in this week. I just need to avoid any carb-related binges between now and Thursday night. Sidenote – If you ever join Weight Watchers, DON’T weigh in at NIGHT. It’s like the total opposite of the first thing in the morning, right after you pee, totally naked weigh in 99% of America does. I swear if I was weighing in at 9 am instead I’d already be down another 5 lbs.

4. I am still obsessing over what tattoo I should get for Caroline. My Pinterest board is filling up with birds and lace but I still haven’t figured out how to make those relate to her. Denae’s idea of a “C” as a bracelet is awesome, although another wrist tattoo is kind of boring. Maybe I need 2 new ones. Or 3. Or a zillion.

5. One of the things I promised E I would do this year is look for a sponsor or sponsors for BlogHer. I am definitely going – New York is really close and I already bought a discounted ticket – but it would be nice if hanging out with my interweb friends didn’t end up costing $1000+ this time. I have absolutely no idea how to go about it and am intimidated by literally every aspect of trying to find one. On the OTHER HAND, if I can get a sponsor for BlogHer I might be able to convince E I should also go to The Blathering, which would be the most fantastic thing ever.

6. I saw a preview for a new show on Fox last night that had Keifer Sutherland on a cell phone talking about how they were RUNNING OUT OF TIME in his raspy voice and I cried a little – both because I miss 24 a crazy-pants amount and because JACK IS BACK Y’ALL. Ok, so he’s playing someone named Martin but whatevs. He will always be Jack. OHPLUSALSO, IMDB has a 24 movie listed in his credits. I have died and gone to man-bag heaven.

The first time I went to get a haircut after Evan was born, I mostly went for the shampoo and blow-dry. My hair hadn’t been both clean AND dry in five months and the thought of wasting precious napping time on something as frivolous as a shower was laughable. So I figured hey, three birds one stone! A haircut will TOTALLY make me look less exhausted and overwhelmed!

When the stylist took the elastic out of my hair and started brushing it out-“So! What are we going to do today?”-my scalp started flaking off. It looked like it was snowing on my shoulders. As if the huge dark circles under my eyes and the spit up on my pants wasn’t humiliating enough, now I had dandruff too.

All the hormonal changes from pregnancy and birth had changed my hair from oily but manageable to dry, itchy and flaking. Ugh, babies are the WORST.

A couple weeks ago, I got an email asking if I’d be interested in trying the new Eucalyptus Head & Shoulders Itchy Scalp Care collection of soothing products. I thought, “Ooooo, that sounds nice.” And then I scratched my head. And then I scratched it some more. (I bet now your head itches too. The power of suggestion, man.)

Look! My hair is clean and dry AND flake free!

By the time I got my bottles of shampoo and conditioner in the mail, I was desperately scratching like a monkey and praying their magic shampoo was as magical as advertised. Although I don’t have real dandruff, the kind caused by the fungus Malassezia globosa, I do have a susceptibility to skin irritation, especially now that the weather is cooler and dryer.

The Head & Shoulders shampoo was definitely soothing. I loved the scent, not at all medicinal or chemically, but clean and refreshing. I was also pleasantly surprised that the conditioner actually conditioned and detangled my crazy horse’s mane of hair. I used it all the way to my roots to make sure my scalp was extra soothed (I really like that word,) and it didn’t weight them down at all.

I am looking forward to a scratch-free winter. And hey, you didn’t think I’d keep all the free stuff for myself, did you? BlogHer has a $50 Visa gift card for one of my readers, just for answering this question and following the directions below:

How do you change your beauty routine in the colder winter season from the warmer seasons? Leave me a comment to be entered for a chance to win.

Rules:

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post

b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post

c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post

d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older.

Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 11/21/11 – 12/22/11

Be sure to visit the Promotions & Prizes page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!

Want more great tips for winter hair care? Check out the newest “Looking Your Best” post in the Life Well Lived section of BlogHer.com.

Despite only being actually hung over for about 20 minutes on Saturday (Bob Harper’s workout sweat the booze right out of me) I’ve been BlogHer hung over ALL WEEK. Having to care for other people’s needs is exhausting, y’all. So is laundry, cooking, cleaning and keeping up with my other commitments. I need a maid. Or at least a nanny.

Sunday:

Obligatory over the wing shot from my plane ride

Ground from the plane

Yeah, sorry, all I did was fly. Unless you want to see a picture of the giant cheeseburger I scarfed down.

Monday:

Real life can't stop me from rocking the "Internets! Hell yea!" tattoo

Little Evan's newest trick is lining stuff up

I missed this face like WHOA

Tuesday:

GET YOUR FILTHY FALL CANDY OFF MY GROCERY STORE SHELVES. (Also, mmmm...mallow pumpkins)

A 5 minute grocery store trip with two kids is actually a 45 minute grocery store trip

Heirloom tomatoes from the CSA. Tomorrow they're going into pasta with goat cheese and herb butter. And then into my MOUTH.

My dad's job brought him to Connecticut so Little Evan got a suprise bedtime story with Bampa

Wednesday:

I came home with a suitcase full of stuffed animals for Little Evan - and my husband makes them all obsolete with one stupid angry bird.

My children are confused

Yes, please climb on my face.

Thursday:

First time I made it to Stroller Strides all week...and instead of doing sit ups I lay on the ground taking pictures. Am Lazy.

Don't even THINK about making me share this plum.

In bed, lights out, before 10. It felt FANTASTIC.

 Friday:

New favorite game: Caroline rides the bouncy seat like a surfboard while Little Evan bounces it. They made it up/play it all on their own. These children will be the death of me.

Nursing in public. I am SCANDALOUS.

True fact: of all the free stuff I got at BlogHer, one of my favorites was the rosemary Wasa flatbreads. I'm a weirdo. So I bought more.

Things she ate for dinner and are on her face: grapes, corn tortillas, fruit leather, bbq chicken pizza, fig newton. ALL OF THOSE.

Saturday:

Party dresses: they're not JUST for parties!

And then mama bought THIS MUCH stuff at Target!

Cheating on Caroline with my friend Amanda's 7 week old baby. SO TINY.

And now I am exhausted so I’m going to try to sneak in a nap.

Did you take any camera phone photos this week? Link up with one or lots using the linky below and grab the code (so it shows on your blog too!) over at Amy’s . It’s really fun!

Even though I had a wonderful time at BlogHer and am so glad I got to attend this year, leaving Caroline was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done it. I should have realized this wasn’t the right time to go and sold my ticket and spent the weekend hiding from Twitter, feeling sorry for myself and glaring at Caroline…but at least I would have been here for her. Every time I saw someone with a baby I was wracked with guilt and babbled endlessly about how I had a baby too but she was at home and I was pumping and I’m sure my husband had gotten her to eat by now even thought she’s never taken a bottle before but don’t think I’m a bad mom… and I secretly worried they thought exactly that.

It didn’t help that one mom said “Oh, I could NEVER leave my baby” in that tone of voice moms use when they’re judging you (even if they don’t THINK they are judging you and would deny it TO THEIR DEATH). Like the SAHM to the working mom: “Oh you are so strong! I don’t know HOW I could leave little Johnny all day!” or the cloth diaper mom to the disposable mom: “Oh I WISH I hated the environment so much that I didn’t care about filling up the landfills!” Well, maybe not that last one. But you get the idea.

One of my challenges is that I have never pumped with a purpose before. The freezer full of milk I left E with was just overflow from my early days of engorgement or Caroline sleeping a few extra hours at night. (Sidebar: I thought I had a GAZILLION GALLONS of milk in the freezer but between bottles she refused, bottles she didn’t finish, and a few bags with holes/freezer burn I came back to less than 20 oz. I was shocked.) I’ve never pumped to actually empty my boobs before, or to keep up my supply, and both proved to be a lot harder than I anticipated. While I was traveling all I had was a couple of hand pumps – my plan was to pop one on each side and get the job done faster – but doing that while standing up in an airport bathroom was impossible. And messy.

I was so sore. I couldn’t move without a constant reminder I was away from my baby and I SHOULDN’T be. My body was straight up guilt tripping me with the added benefit of physical pain to make it EXTRA GUILTY. It distracted me from focusing on the people I was there to meet and prevented me from giving everyone the hugs I was there to give.

Thank GOD the kind people from Hygeia Baby lent me a double electric EnJoye breastpump while I was at the conference  (and that my roommate was kind enough to drag it back to the hotel for me)(and also show me how to use it because I was freakin’ TERRIFIED the first time I looked in the box). By Friday afternoon I had gotten the hang of the fancy double electric action and was a regular milk machine, filling up bag after bag to donate to a local mom. I LOVED that pump.

But Sunday screwed everything up again – I returned the fancy pump and was left with my hand pump, I was stuck in an airport, and it was almost midnight when I got home. I had only pumped three times all day and after just a few minutes of nursing Caroline I was out of milk. My once insanely-overabundant supply had dwindled and we had to use the last of the frozen stash to calm the baby down. BOOB FAIL.

I threw my diet out the window and threw a giant chocolate bar into my face and I THINK we’re almost back to normal in terms of milk production but there still seems to be a lot of screaming. I suspect a top front tooth is to blame (which was NOT such a nice surprise on my poor nipple) but I’m going to worry about my supply constantly until the screaming quiets down a little. It’s made reentry to real life post-BlogHer (what?! it’s HARD) stressful and sleepless, both of which hurt my supply even MORE and then I’m trapped in a vicious cycle and can’t get out.

Also, I don’t think E is ever going to forgive me for the screaming he put up with before Caroline caved on the bottle. (She DID eventually cave, and now sucks them down like a champ. She might actually even PREFER the bottle, but too bad so sad baby girl, it’s back to the tap for you.) I suspect there was a LOT of screaming, but he’s being vague on exactly HOW AWFUL things were. Bless him for not complaining – although it might be because he’s barely speaking to me – but it hasn’t helped me feel any better about the situation.

So, to sum up, I am a selfish bitch who is now starving her baby and her husband hates her. I’m not doing so good at this mom gig right now.