Here’s the thing about having a fourth baby – you don’t really have time for a fourth baby until the baby actually shows up and you HAVE to give them your attention. That’s why I am currently  31 31+ 32 weeks pregnant and haven’t written a single pregnancy update so far. I have no weekly bump shots, no cute comparisons to fruit sizes, no lists of symptoms or weird body changes. All changes have already been made, at least one whole baby ago. My body can do all sorts of horrifying things and my reaction is “meh, I’ve seen worse”.

It has gotten very hot recently, and I am reminded why summer pregnancies are the worst. I am feeling extra large and swollen and sweaty all the time, even when I am doing my best to drink water and keep my feet up and not move more than necessary between the hours of 11 am and 4 pm. Several of those hours also happen to be Linc’s current nap hours, so there is a lot of afternoon screen time happening in our house. I keep trying to feel guilty about it – because I’m supposed to feel guilty about letting the kids watch iPad instead of having an #unpluggedchildhood, right? – but can’t work up the energy. Maybe after a quick nap.

I had such good intentions when it came to really enjoying and basking in this last pregnancy. I was going to think about things like “This is the last time I’ll feel relief at 24 weeks” and “This is the last time we’ll get to pick a baby name”. Instead, I keep forgetting how pregnant I am and please let’s NOT talk about the complete lack of name decisions being made. I think a big part of it is that when I was pregnant with Lincoln they were concerned with my amniotic fluid levels, so I had a LOT of appointments. There were bi-weekly non-stress tests and weekly ultrasounds, all of which Evan and Caroline attended with me, plus regular check-ups and blood work. In contrast, this baby had one extra ultrasound early on and we’ve reached the point where I have the standard weight-belly size-any questions? appointments every 2 weeks, but no NSTs, no extra testing, no dragging my kids to the hospital all the time. This baby is unwatched and unmonitored and completely average.

That doesn’t mean he isn’t trying to to make himself known. My current daily heartburn levels are somewhere between “being stabbed with hot knives” and “oh my God I must have esophageal cancer this cannot be normal”. I still have daily morning sickness and sometimes evening sickness. I have to pee constantly. Like right now. Even though I just went 10 minutes ago. And all night. It’s exhausting. He also kicks and rolls more than any previous baby, sometimes moving so much I gasp and clutch my belly and feel like he’s about to just pop right out, Alien-style. I would much rather he make his exit the normal way, so hopefully he figures that DOWN is a better direction for the poking in the next few weeks.

I have plans to force my family to help me take maternity photos again, like I did last time. Since this is my last pregnancy, I’m going to be as completely cliche as possible – long dress, flower crown, standing in a river looking pensive about the miracle that is motherhood – and not feel the least bit self conscious about it. Plus any excuse to stand in a river sounds really good right now, since it’s 93 degrees outside and we don’t have air conditioning. For now I’m going to finally hit publish on this, put a cold washcloth on my head and take a nap.

So, we’re having another boy, which means we need another boy name. This is terrible news, because we have NO boy name ideas.

These are our current boys: Evan Richard (III) and Lincoln Scott. Evan Richard is named after his father & grandfather. Lincoln was MY grandfather’s name and my uncle’s name and Scott was my father’s brother. Scott is also my soon-to-be brother-in-law’s name, although we didn’t choose it specifically for that reason. It’s just one of the ways our family manages to have plenty of people but very few names.

I have two lists at the moment. The Family Name list and the Names I Found That I Would Consider list. The family name list I’ve been keeping sort of hoping something grows on me, but they are mostly nos. There are a lot of good names we like that I feel I can’t/shouldn’t use because other people close to us have used them, but most of those aren’t full-stop-NO-WAY nos.

There are also a lot of good names we like that I feel I can’t/shouldn’t use because other people close to us have used them, but most of those aren’t full-stop-NO-WAY nos. The definite nos are: Ethan, Carter, Zane, Zachary, Alexander, and whatever my sister-in-law uses when she has her baby in July.

(Sidebar: what’s your feeling on off limit names? If we have a local friend we see at least monthly who has a child named Bob but Bob is 7 years old, that’s still OK, right? But if we have a local friend who has a child named Fred, we see Fred on a weekly basis, and Fred is only 1, that’s probably too close, yes? HOW CLOSE makes a name unusable, is the question.)

Family Names (mostly from my very Scandanavian family, in case that’s not incredibly clear):
William (my father)
Charles (father/brother/uncle’s middle name)
Andrew (brother/brother-in-law’s name)
Newell (E’s grandfather)
Lawrence
Paul
Olaf
Halvar
Oskar
Johan
Lars
Carl
Joel
Eric
Ruben
Rickard
Mathias
Gunnar
Anton
Martin
Gideon
Thayer
Ralph
Burton
Elias
Mason
Jason
Jacob
Arthur
Nathan

Names I Found That I Would Consider (my feelings on these change almost daily):
Asher
Griffin
Hudson
Beckett
Caspian
Sullivan
Phineas
Dash
Noah
Henry
Oliver
Wesley
Max

Oh wait, I forgot a list. This is the Things The Children Want To Name The Baby List:
Rocket
Kristof
Olaf
Baby
Kylo Ren
Ben Kenobi

So basically my family uses obscure, terrible names and my personal list all falls into the “dog or child?” category. I am still hoping I will stumble across something that makes me feel very strongly, but I’m sort of afraid that’s never going to happen and we’ll just settle. That’s ok though, right? You would think after named three children this would be EASIER instead of harder.

All name discussions, vetos, opinions and suggestions are welcome. PLEASE HELP US.

p.s. Caroline’s middle name is Noelle, if that helps. So the sibling set will be Evan, Caroline, Lincoln and ________. Caroline is named after my sister and my mother-in-law (Carolyn/Carol) as well as maybe a tiiiiiny bit after Caroline Ingalls and Princess Caroline and Caroline Kennedy. But it’s mostly family-based. So something at least family INSPIRED for this baby would be nice.

We actually found out we were having a boy a looooooooooong time ago. I had some extra genetic testing done around 12 weeks because my first tests were “borderline”. That testing includes the option to find out if it’s a boy or a girl. As much as I loved being surprised when Linc was born (I also REALLY loved not having to have the following conversations with a million people: Are you happy it’s a boy? Do you have a name? Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll have a girl next time. Well you can always try again…) I felt strongly that I wanted to find out this time. Partly because I was expecting it to be a girl and I didn’t want to go through my whole pregnancy convinced I was right and have to deal with my feelings when I was already dealing with birth hormones, and partly because if it WAS a boy I could get rid of a TON of girl clothes. Also, I already have 3 kids and I’m pretty busy on a regular basis. I am definitely not spending a ton of time sitting quietly and deeply connecting to the new life I’m growing. Knowing it’s a boy and thinking of him as a HIM has definitely helped me feel more in touch with this baby.

Also, we have NO BOY NAMES, so it’s good we have so much time to think about it. All suggestions welcome.

Please note: Evan is not actually sad it is a boy. After the video, he started laughing and said “I was just kidding. As long as Caroline doesn’t get to be the boss of me.”

More photos from our reveal (plus some fun in the orchard):

p.s. Don’t you love my orchard? It’s FULL of treasures.

Surprise! Honestly, I would say I was also surprised to find out I was pregnant again but REALLY?! This is the fourth time – fifth if you count the chemical pregnancy right before Linc. I know how it happens. This is not that surprising.

It is a little bit surprising because I was using the lazy person’s birth control (breastfeeding) and hadn’t gotten my period back at all (sorry any dudes who happen to read this by accident) so it’s not like I was trying to get pregnant. I was just not NOT trying. The plan was always to give Linc a close sibling since it worked out so well for Evan and Caroline, but without a way to actually make that happen we just had our fingers crossed. I’m just very, very lucky. I’m very, very aware of that.

I realized I was pregnant at a game night with friends, when I drank half a glass of wine and immediately felt like throwing up. That is not at all my normal reaction to wine. I took a test that night when we got home and even though it wasn’t ideal testing conditions I got a super faint line. I woke up my (perhaps slightly drunk) husband to wave it in his face, but he swears his has no memory of that. The next day I tossed a digital test that said “PREGNANT” in his lap and that’s when he actually found out. I am not good at Big Gestures To Tell My Spouse. Not when I need him to immediately start handling all smelly house- and child-related issues.

I have what I think of as all the regular pregnacy symptoms – exhaustion, morning and evening sickness, constant peeing, sensitivity to smells, unexplained headaches I can’t take anything good for, pants that don’t fit. My face was breaking out like crazy for the first few weeks but it seems to be slightly better now. I spend every morning throwing up for 20 minutes but then I can usually power through until 3 or 4 pm when I have to start being careful to avoid triggers and then as long as I go to bed before 9 I’m mostly safe. Hopefully I’m almost past the morning sickness stage too and will get some of that good second trimester engergy, now that I’m in my second trimester.

Surprise again! I managed to not announce my pregnancy the second it happened, like I have previously done! I’m actually just slightly more than 14 weeks along, due at the end of August. This is the first time I’ve delayed talking about a pregnancy for so long, which felt a little weird. It started because I just didn’t want to announce at Christmas, then I didn’t want to announce until I had at least seen my OB but because I didn’t even call them until January my appointment wasn’t until the middle of the month. Then my standard screening test came back with some questionable results and I wanted all the information I could get before I opened myself up to every Facebook friend’s questions. Luckily the second, more accurate test came back normal and the ultrasound I had on Tuesday didn’t show anything concerning. I have another ultrasound at 19 weeks to triple check, but I feel reassured that things are as OK as you can ever say they are.Evan is SUPER excited. Caroline is excited about the idea of getting a sister. Linc doesn’t understand yet. Since I don’t want poor Caroline to spend the whole pregnancy thinking she’s getting a sister only to be disappointed at the hospital,

Evan is SUPER excited. Caroline is excited about the idea of getting a sister. Linc doesn’t understand yet. Since I don’t want poor Caroline to spend the whole pregnancy thinking she’s getting a sister only to be disappointed at the hospital, we’re going to find out what we’re having. Team Green was SUPER fun to do with Linc, but since this is mostly likely our last baby, having the next 5 months to purge baby clothes we won’t need is a good use of time. Just like I did a fancy announcement photo shoot, I have plans for a gender reveal photoshoots. It’s my LAST BABY. I want to do ALL the things. Imagine flower crowns and a sunset in my maternity photos.

Our families are very happy. My wonderful, fantastic, very understanding sister might have rearranged her wedding a tiny bit so I could still attend, which is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. E has been great. Honestly, I think he also realizes this is probably the LAST BABY and has stepped up – doing the dishes, putting the kids to bed, volunteering to hold my hair while I throw up, bringing me the food I’m craving, letting me lie on the couch and wallow while he vacuums. It is making being pregnant while also having three children much easier.

I’ve heard adding a fourth barely matters in the grand scheme of things. We already have a minivan. I’m already staying home with a toddler, staying home with a toddler and a baby only means I’m more tired, not a real change in my schedule. Linc might have just weaned himself (literally yesterday) because my supply has dropped, so I get a little break before I have to nurse a newborn. And then I’ll get a NEW BABY to wear in all my wraps and my baby carriers and snuggle and take pictures of and love undyingly forever and ever. We already scheduled the summer out so we still get to do our beach vacation, lake membership, camp for the kids AND I can spend all of August lying in 18 inches of kiddie pool water in our backyard so I don’t have to wear clothes.

I know myself too well to make any blogging promises, but I have high hopes that now that I’m not keeping my pregnancy a secret I’ll have a lot more stuff to say. I might even do some pregnancy style posts, since this is my LAST BABY and I need very little stuff so I might treat myself to a few cute things that are meant for people actually growing humans instead of just mashing myself into XXL tanks and yoga pants. Although, like I said, I am due in August, and there is no pregnancy style in August. Especially when you don’t have air conditioning.

Isn’t it completely crazy that I started this blog in 2008 when I was newly pregnant with Evan and only a month after I reach the 8 year mark I’ll have my FOURTH baby? That’s a lot of babies and a lot of time to maintain a blog, even if it’s just a personal narrative at this point and not the amazingly popular money-making mommy blogging empire I imagined in the first few years.

And I am INCREDIBLY happy about all of it.

I am so lucky that as part of my photography business here in Connecticut I’ve gotten to meet both lots of wonderful people and lots of wonderful photographers. My favorite might be Tiffany Joyce, who is a fellow Navy wife and crazy talented photographer based in Mystic. She came over for coffee a few weeks ago so we could talk about Making a Murder and I ended up asking her if she was interested in doing some updated family photos for us. She’s normally a wedding and engagement and couples session girl, but was kind enough for make an exception for my crazy family. Caroline LOVES Tiffany, probably because she has long blonde hair like a princess.

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Tiffany is also the best because she agreed to go with my insane photo ideas, even though it was clear from the start they were NOT going to work out like they do on Pinterest. E joked we were definitely going to end up on Pinterest Fails, next to those Cookie Monster cupcakes. Honestly, I have no idea why I even thought it was possible for balloons to float straight up outdoors but she did her best and I love these photos too:

What?

CLOSER.

And their faces when they figured out what the balloons were about:

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That’s as good as it’s gonna get, folks, pack up this circus and go home.

But don’t you dare ask the baby to walk up the hill! I promise he’s as excited as it’s possible for a 19-month-old to be about something he has literally no understanding of. I promise actual details coming soon!

Find Tiffany on Facebook and Instagram and hire her to photograph your wedding. Do it.