Posts Tagged ‘31 months’

Thankful Day 15: The Dreaded Potty Training

Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

Every time I mention potty training, someone comments that they’d like to hear more about what we’re doing. I know bloggers say things like that all the time – “I’m writing this post about my trash cans because I got sooooooo many emails about them!” – but honestly, I never get email. Never. So the fact that even ONE person was interested in potty training advice was a surprise and also gives me a great excuse to write about the how potty training is going.

Short version: Great! Almost! I am being LAID BACK.

Long version: I do not have any idea what I am doing. Like my friend Alena keeps saying, I am not qualified for this. It is partly my fault, since besides reading the potty training blog posts as they pop up in my reader and watching Little Evan’s 2 best friends train themselves almost a full year ago (damn overachievers) I haven’t made much of an effort to learn anything about it. I was a) scared b) really scared and c) so scared I practically forgot my own potty training. If you are just starting or thinking about starting, you are probably scared too.

But I am here to tell you it might not be that bad! Really! I have had to clean up poop zero times! (E has had to clean up poop once, but we’ll get to that.) The laid-back approach means there have been zero tears or shouting over potty times. Here is the outline for my non-method method.

1. We waited until he showed interest to start training. And when I say “showed interest” I mean he was telling me before he had to use the potty, even though he was still wearing diapers.  He could already feel the need and was able to hold it. He has the vocabulary to tell me, loudly, that he needs the toilet so I never miss a sign. I like easing into things rather than all-or-nothing (because I am laid back), so starting slow worked well.

2. He watched other people using the potty. Because the two friends he sees the most ARE potty trained, he’s been going into the bathroom when they go for months. I know that sounds weird, but he was already familiar with how the potty worked before he started using it regularly because other moms let him tag along and I think it really helped.

3. One word: bribery. I have bribed him with the following things: lollipops, m&m’s, candy corn, cookies, tv, hugs, lemonade and hand washing. I don’t offer him something unless I have to or he specifically asks, so I’d say he only gets a treat one out of every three times (obviously he still gets hugs and hand washing, but if offering them as a reward works then I’ll keep doing it).

4. As long as he doesn’t go in his pants, anywhere else is OK. The training potty? Sure! The big potty! Awesome! Pee in the bushes? Fine. Standing up? Whatever. The nice part of being so laid back is he has no trouble going in public, so venturing out without diapers wasn’t too terrifying. The only down side is needing to clean my bathroom extremely thoroughly every day he decids to pee standing up. We’re still working on aim.

5. We aren’t pushing night-time training yet. He’s about 50/50 on staying dry during naps, but he is a very sound sleeper and I know I’d end up changing sheets every single morning. I have heard that boys can be potty trained for years before they are night-time trained so I’m not concerned. There’s an entire KIND of diapers meant for night-time accidents so we are obviously not the only ones.

6. Cool underwear. Diego, Yo Gabba Gabba and Thomas are all options on any given day and if he wants to change them for no reason? FINE. I bought plenty.

It’s been nine days since we first took Little Evan out of the house without a diaper and as of right now, he’s in underwear any time he’s awake. He’s had zero out-in-public accidents and zero accidents when he’s with me.

The reason I’ve expressed frustration with the process in the past is because we had several false starts – I thought we were SO CLOSE but he’d get mad and ask to go back to diapers. He was either holding it allllllll day and having an accident right before nap/bed time or refusing to go for so long it was giving him a stomach ache and then pooping in his sleep. Our other set back is with E coming and going every week Little Evan is having a hard time adjusting and it results in accidents. He isn’t comfortable telling E when he has to potty and E doesn’t remember to ask constantly (something I don’t have to do). I feel bad for both of them. But I am LAID BACK so I’m sure it will get better.

Whew. There you go. 1000 words about potty training you never wanted to read. Basically, my advice to anyone starting or thinking about starting would be to figure out what works for your kid. Don’t think you have to pick a method. Don’t convince yourself there is a “wrong” way. Some kids need structure and absolutes, some kids don’t, so don’t be afraid to try something different if what you’re doing isn’t working. Remain laid back.

Today, I am thankful I haven’t had to scrub poop out of the carpet. I am thankful for every diaper I DON’T have to change. I am thankful he won’t be going to kindergarten in training pants. I am thankful that I am no longer scared of potty training. I am thankful for wine, which helps me to be so laid back.