Tonight E gave me the news that not only are we going to the semi-formal chief’s Khaki Ball in a few weeks, we’re also going to the formal Submarine Ball (or is it the Navy Ball?) in October. In the 7 years I have known him and the 4 years we’ve been married we have NEVER gone to a single Navy event, let alone one I need a fancy dress for. And since the Khaki Ball is cocktail attire and the Sub Ball is fancier, I’m going to need not one but TWO new dresses. Normally this idea would excited me – and also send me into a fit of working out, eating nothing but Slimfast, and cruising websites for discount designer attire. Instead I am freaking the heck out about how I buy a dress 4-6 weeks in advance when I’m gaining weight at roughly light-speed. The maternity store at my mall (the only maternity store in the area) has nothing resembling formalwear. It’s not prom season, and even if it was I don’t really think the slutty neon satin nightgowns that pass for prom dresses these days are appropriate for a 26 year old mother-to-be. (Not that I can’t be slutty, it’s the satin I have an aversion to.) I figure my best options are either to see what’s available in the – ugh – Women’s section of the department stores, or to find something online with a nice forgiving empire waist and a low price tag.  Since I am not Angelina Jolie and I will never look like this my choices are limited. I think the words “empire waist” are definitely my new best friends.

I tried Bluefly, but even at “40% off designer prices!!!!!” I can only afford a third of a dress. Although I kind of love this one: Cocktail dress, I need someone to slap me and remind me tent dresses are for 8 foot tall models, not chubby preggers. In a moment of weakness I decided to Google “evening gowns” and ended up on the Spiegel site. This one: Blue dress, is super cheap, would be a great color on me, and has enough stretch to forgive a few pounds, but I’m afraid it’s not dressy enough. The “ankle length” part also scares me – what shoes do I wear? I may end up ordering this one: White dress, although I can’t help but think white may not be the right color for a pale blond. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME. Isn’t teen pregnancy common enough to make a site for maternity prom dresses? Pregnant girls deserve limo rides, awkward dancing, and forced socialization too.

Also, if I ever EVER consider wearing THIS I need someone to please lock me up as soon as possible. Or pretty much anything on this page. I am obviously not well.


9 Responses to “Surprises”

  1. Erin (i dont have a fake name :( ) says:

    I REALLY like the blue dress! I think that its perfect and that the sizing will be very forgiving. I also like that it looks more adult and not all that prom-dressy. In my limited experience with military formal events (all two of them that I have been to) woman that dress to much like the prom always look a little out of place, and kinda like they wanted to get one more wear out of their old high school prom dress.

  2. bebehblog says:

    Erin – I was actually considering wearing my high school prom dress! I think I can still make it zip, it’s a fairly classic design and it’s definitely pretty enough to deserve a second wear.
    Aaaand I just ordered the blue dress. I sort of figure even if it isn’t right as a formal dress I’m sure I can find somewhere to wear it to – even if it’s just the grocery store.

  3. sarrible says:

    That blue dress is lovely, and does bear some resemblance to what Angelina is wearing! Just get E to dress up like Brad Pitt and you’re set.

    Honestly, I can’t believe there aren’t more maternity prom dresses. For something cocktail-y, this blue dress looks kind of cute and affordable.

  4. bebehblog says:

    Sarrible – Actually, I think E will be wearing the Top Gun whites, complete with medals and fancy hat. There will be pictures.

  5. Stacyinbean says:

    You are lucky you have a professional Googler on your hands. These sites seem ok! (I may google but I sadly don’t know how to do pretty html links)
    Also, of all the dresses I liked the blue one the best, that color would look great on you!

    Liz Lange has a cute maternity line for Target too, the dresses are kind of cute!

  6. Other Erin says:

    My quick search for maternity formal wear took me to way too many posts of girls looking for maternity dresses actually for the prom.

    I would say that takes real balls.

  7. sarrible says:

    Swoon. You married well, my friend, sartorially speaking. I mean, sure, he’s handy, can retile a floor, and good at puppy-training, but the important part is how he looks in a dress uniform. The passing resemblance to Prince Harry doesn’t hurt.

  8. Erin (i dont have a fake name :( ) says:

    Yeah!!!! I love your prom dress! That would be really nice. Its not a cheap ho-ey dress, so i think it would look good (and not at all sad like the people i was talking about – you know the type :) )

  9. Lauren says:

    Get thee to pea in the pod!

    Don’t be put off by the ridiculously high prices at first…. keep scrolling and you’ll see that a lot of stuff is on sale for 50 – 100 dollars.

    Great fit, lovely fabric, doooo it!

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