Bad Words

So the good news is we won’t be moving this year. The bad news is we won’t be moving this year because E didn’t get selected for Limited Duty Officer by the Navy. Being passed up for LDO sucks, but it sucks extra hard because I know he feels like it’s a direct judgment of his worth as a person. Which I think it RIDICULOUS because he’s amazingly good at his job, including all the itty bitty meaningless hoops the military loves to make people jump through – like always saying numbers a certain way or rechecking a valve you checked literally 30 seconds ago just because it’s a step in the procedure manual. He knows that shit inside and out. His boss got a call from another captain this week just to let him know how awesome E is and how lucky the office is to have him. And yet some guys he’s never met down in Washington DC decided he wasn’t ready to be an LDO based on a few pieces of paper and one interview. I’m so pissed on his behalf I want to punch someone and scream profanity in their stupid faces.

Last year when he didn’t get selected, I wrote a blog post for Military Spouse magazine (which seems to have disappeared into the dark void of the internets Found it) about how even though I was sad for him I was super relieved not to be uprooting our life right then. I was 8 months pregnant, the housing market had just tanked, we were kind of broke, and I was totally unprepared to start over in a new city in a new state. I got a few positive comments about how hard being a military wife can be sometimes, but one asshole wrote a jerk-off post about how I was a terrible person for even THINKING there was an upside to not getting selected, let alone writing about it on the internet. He said my selfish attitude was probably to blame and called me everything besides a traitor to our armed services. Charming and helpful all around.

This time, my disappointment on E’s behalf is greater than my desire not to upset our lives. Even though his selection would mean an even more difficult move, leaving so many more friends, losing all my real-life support, and still be a pain in the ass financially, I know how much he wanted it. How much he DESERVED it. And I am genuinely disappointed that the Navy doesn’t appreciate all his hard work. I guess I’ll just have to make sure he knows I do…until we go through this whole damn mess again next February.

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8 Responses to “Bad Words”

  1. sarrible says:

    If there’s anything I’ve learned in the past three years, it’s that your job bears little to no relationship to your worth as a person. Glad you’re not moving (yet).

  2. Audrey says:

    I kind of know what you’re going through. Not as a spouse, but as a military brat. My dad was passed up for a promotion numerous times in the Air Force. I know it was hard for him because he was really good at his job too. He did eventually get it, though. Maybe, in your husband’s case, they simply had another candidate who’d been waiting longer? I think that’s how I’d prefer to look at it instead of them seeing something lacking. Maybe next year will be his year.

  3. Merin says:

    Sorry to hear this Suzanne. While I am glad you will not be moving soon, this sounds like something E totally deserved.

  4. Merin says:

    Sorry to hear this Suzanne. While I am glad you will not be moving soon, this sounds like something E totally deserved.

  5. Merin says:

    And I’m sorry for the double post.

  6. Lauren says:

    If I could destroy the Navy in a single blow– the whole Navy, every last ship — I would. I’m delurking (I hate that word, but there’s really nothing as fitting) to say that if you ever want to shout at someone about the tortures of dealing with that part of life PLEASE email me.

  7. Brigid Keely says:

    Aw, that sucks. Hopefully next February will go better for you guys.


  8. andrea says:

    I know this might sound really stupid, but sometimes things happen for a reason. Maybe it just wasn’t a good time for all the changes that came with the promotion. I can only imagine how disappointed E must be, especially because he is clearly ready to move up (from what you write). I am sure next year will be THE year (plus you have a whole year to prepare for the big move).

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