Two is Easier Than One

This might sounds strange – or it might make absolute total sense to you, because you feel the same way – but having two kids is WAY easier than having one.

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I can’t actually prove that, either scientifically or anecdotally, since I’ve never had one kid at this age and compared it to having two kids at this age. Comparing what life was like with one baby or with one toddler while I was pregnant with a second hardly seems fair, since babies and pregnancy are both harder in general than preschool aged kids. Well, harder when it comes to the amount of serious hands-on work, not harder when it comes to handing acts of child terrorism and manipulation. And none of this applies to having twins, since the amount of work doubles at the same rate. I can’t even imagine how hard that would be compared to just having two semi-close together. Plus this probably doesn’t work on kids who are a lot farther apart – I don’t think having me was very helpful to my mother when she had my brother seven years later. I was too busy with seven year old stuff to play with a baby or fetch things or help out.

I think I need to start over.

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Evan and Caroline together is WAY easier than just having one ginger Davis bebeh.

They don’t always get along, but I’d say we’re at about an 80% best friends/20% hitting each other ratio. After the zoo on Saturday, I tossed them both in the car while I loaded up the stroller with instructions to take their coats off and get in their seats. Caroline’s coat had velcro and a zipper, which was too much for her to figure out, so she turned to Evan and said “Help?” He immediately un-velcroed and un-zipped her coat, then said “Here Caroline, get in your seat and I’ll give you your juice.” It was adorable, and heart-melting, and a huge help for me. They do stuff like that all the time. Their teacher said every time they see each other at school (they’re in different classes) they hug or touch fingers through the playground fence or say “I MISS YOU!”

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Hand-holding so no one runs into traffic, helping with coats and hats, fetching things for each other, finding shoes, finding lost toys – ALL THINGS I would have to do if they weren’t doing it for each other. On top of making my life easier, I like to think I’m making them better, nicer people. They’re both pretty good at sharing and taking turns for small, selfish children. They’re good at playing games with other kids or making friends or joining a group. I’ve been asked four times this week if they’re twins, since even strangers can see how close they are.

I don’t know if they’re going to be best friends forever. I doubt it, although I hope they always like each other. But right now having two kids to play with each other, help each other and help me is awesome. Two gingers are definitely better than one.

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14 Responses to “Two is Easier Than One”

  1. Audrey says:

    lol! I sometimes have this feeling too. Then I take them both to the grocery store and find myself at the checkout going “no, come back here” “no, don’t bother that lady” “just stand here. No, stand HERE” with my head whipping in two different directions and I go WHYYYYYYYYYYY while rubbing my ginormous belly full of #3.

    • bebehblog says:

      Oh, were you behind me in line at Big Y this week? Caroline is terrible at stores. TERRIBLE. But having Evan to chase her down when she disappears around the corner is a big help.

  2. Erin says:

    Hey Suzanne,
    What age would you say you started feeling this way? I’m still pulling myself out of the toddler and baby trenches. I have to admit that having them so close together was way harder then I thought it’d be. (Two boys, 21 months apart.)
    I realize all kids are different but when did they really start playing together. Mine are 29 months and 8 months.
    Thanks so much. Your blog is one of my favorites and definitely the funniest I read!

    • bebehblog says:

      There were several milestones that got us to this point – Caroline becoming mobile was a huge one, since just chasing each other around entertained them and tired them out. I’d say fully entertaining each other started around 18 months and only recently did they start imaginary playing together (like sharing the train set or playing school or getting out allll the cars and coordinating their stories). I think you’re super close to getting out of the haze and stress of 2 babies – because basically, anyone under 2 is a baby – and in a few months you’ll sit down and enjoy a whole cup of coffee while it’s still how and think “Yes, having them close together is AWESOME!”

  3. Erin says:

    This is so sweet. I love the hand holding picture. I’m excited to get to see your two gingers again. I definitely think they are twice the fun.

  4. Maggie says:

    I totally understand! My girls are essentially the same age as your gingers and they are best friends/playmates/helpers. Of course, “Mom! Willa/Mae isn’t bein’ nice to me!” is a pretty frequent refrain around here, but for the most part it’s wonderful.

    Just last night I was able to have them play in our (fenced) backyard while I cooked dinner. I could watch them from the kitchen and it was 30 solid minutes of blowing bubbles, “climbing” trees and doing something with sticks. They had a blast and I could cook without a toddler clinging to my leg.

  5. Rebecca says:

    This makes me so excited about my girls playing together and helping each other out! :)

  6. Brigid Keely says:

    That’s so great that they get along so well. You’ve done some good work!

  7. molly says:

    I agree with you 100%! I love it when the teachers tell me that my boys hug when they see each other at daycare. It is so special to watch their relationship grow (you know, when they’re not trying to kill each other).

  8. Robyn says:

    Mine are exaclty 3 years apart (almost 4 and 10 months) and we are getting to this place too, even though my age gap is a lot bigger. Rory is a real help. She plays with Dexter and even alerts me when he has something he should have, or tells me he’s up to no good. She’s definitely more babysitter than friend still, but they love each other so much I can’t stand it. Now that Dexter is crawling, there is definitely more actual play, instead of him just being entertained by watching her playing. So, I agree that two is easier than one, or really, a preschooler and a baby is easier than just baby # 1 was by herself at this age…unless someone is sick or tired or really needy.

    • Robyn says:

      although to be fair, my baby # 1 was very demanding..maybe if i had an easier baby # 1, i wouldn’t think was easier having two right now. so maybe it’s just that baby # 2 is easier, lol…

  9. So for me? This isn’t the case just yet… but the big kid is SO helpful right now and loves his little sister so much that I can’t really complain. :-)

  10. merin says:

    You are very lucky. I had hoped this would be the case with mine but sadly it’s quite the opposite. There are glimmers of love/friendship and I hope it will continue to grow as Cami gets older (sidenote-Cora has mentioned on several occasions that she doesn’t like things that can’t talk, which is why she hates dolls, so maybe this has something to do with it. She loves animals though, so her reasoning isn’t the best!). But most days I’m parenting two one-child teams and it is truly exhausting.

  11. Christa says:

    I’m emailing this to my husband. We have one. Yes, this may help my case.

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