Posts Tagged ‘spam’

Kokomo Dentist. You’re Welcome!

Thursday, March 10th, 2011

I get a lot of spam here on ye olde bloggity blog. I would take it as a sign that I was somehow hitting the big time in the internet world but the truth is I’ve ALWAYS gotten a ton of spam, even when I had exactly three readers. I think I just look like an easy target: no comment verification, no captcha, the ability to post with a fake email address. Luckily, WordPress has a handy-dandy feature called Akismet that catches 99.9% of the spammy comments without any effort on my part. But that’s not to say the spammers aren’t TRYING to get published. Today I thought we could examine some of the valiant spam attempts to get their links and keywords published instead of banished to the spam folder (current count: 3,682 comments)…

Flattery:
What I dont comprehend is how youre not even a lot more popular than you might be now. Youre just so intelligent. You know so significantly about this topic, created me consider it from so many diverse angles. Its like men and women arent interested unless it has some thing to accomplish with Lady Gaga! Your stuffs great. Continue to keep it up! (I’m the next Lady Gaga! Says the guy who’s allergic to apostrophes!)

Dang i thought your blog was killer, gave me a car load of information, i never knew, thanks blogger.

Never thought blogging could be soo fun and interesting. Man you know how to do it brother. (Thanks…brother)

You are such an amazing writer. Wishing you a strength and peace that surpasses all understanding as you continue to walk the high road … you are amazing, and I honor you for being YOU! You represent grace and dignity … with a smile that melts anyone blessed to be on the receiving end of it. God Bless you Always, Carrie!!!! (oh, well, that was going really well until the end there)

Sympathy:
Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say excellent blog! (Oh noes, penis enlargement medication website, I am SO SORRY we’ll never know what you had to say!)

Randomly Political:
Thanks to the Glen Beck wannabees this stuff is occasionally taken at face value. (on a post about breastfeeding)

I think this president #needs to# go and let’s #get back# on path. I Worship this country! (on a post about my wedding)(and left by someone called “lake havasu city tourist sites”)

“In a recent study, the United States was ranked the 114th happiest country in the world. Then Sarah Palin stepped down. Now we’re at 17.” –Conan O’Brien (that was all part of the comment – I really doubt it was actually left by Conan)

Perhaps English is not their first language. Or their second:
This is my prime indication i here. I pioneer so umpteen exciting congest in your especially its communication. From the loads of comments on your articles, I conjecture I am not the one having all the here! fastness up the better job.

Actually collection of perform & wonderful websites!

Your webpage is really instructive … retain up the great operate!!!!?!

A stardom situated situation is a accommodation video of kind-hearted procreant behavior, as performed alongside means of a notable and his or her partner(s), which finds internet and/or bootleg.

you are my inhalation , I own few web logs and rarely run out from to post : (.

A powerful share, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing just a little analysis on this. And he in actual fact purchased me breakfast because I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love reading extra on this topic. If potential, as you change into expertise, would you mind updating your blog with extra particulars? It’s extremely useful for me. Massive thumb up for this blog post!

(Don’t those all sound like that episode of Friends where Joey uses the thesaurus to write the recommendation letter? “Large aortic pumps!”)

Helpful and Important (and Fake) Tech Information:
Hey, just reckoned Iwould let you know that your blog page isn’t displaying proper on internet explorer 4. Anyways, carry on the great job !

Doing some browsing and observed your internet site seems a fraction messed up in my AOL cyberspace browser. But fortuitously scarcely anyone practices it any more but you may want to look into it (maybe your problem is you’re still using AOL?)

And my favorite, Honesty:
howdy, I’m havin a tough time attempting to rank well for the term “kokomo dentist”… Please approve my comment!!

Mmmmm…spam

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

So for the past couple of weeks the number of spam comments caught by my filter has tripled. I don’t know if that means my site has finally hit Google’s search results or if the spambot companies are just working hard to sell those fake watch penis enlargement insurance porn college degrees during the holiday season. I mean, what makes better gift than some Ciagra and a Rolaxx?

Luckily, one of my delicious spammy commenters has a sense of humor and along with the links to his virus-filled site he provides me with at least two jokes a day. Unluckily, they are terribly unfunny. For example:

Did you hear about the farmer who was found guilty of selling rotten fruit? He was judged by his pears!

Which of these things don’t belong: A tuna, a lobster, or a Chinese guy run over by a truck? The tuna. The other two are crustaceans. (I don’t even get it. Is it racist? Is it supposed to sound like crust-Asians? Because that doesn’t even make any sense.) (Oh wait, I just got it. Crushed Asian. Yeah, still not funny.)

Then of course I have the list-maker spammer. Here’s just a sampling of the keywords he thinks you might be interested in:

windows firewall disable
what is govenor minner political
where to get dc tax forms
voltage level converter
wrongful l termanation sample
west marine port supply
wcho seed
yiffy adult art
wet tshirt ordinance
will hardy is so cool
vista notepad
what is microsoft’s email address
whitmor shrink tubing
why buy a condo
yakima walmart
western cable
wire totes
women with other women
watering vegetables
who plays claire bennet in heros
yale university online mba degree
wackenhut services inc
zix free
welcome to eminence organics
witney castle
worm poo
west virginia government and legal research
wicker towel ring towel rack

So many questions! Who is Will Hardy? Why does he need a voltage level converter? Will he buy a condo? Does it have a wicker towel ring towel rack? And for the love of God, what’s a Wackenhut???

And finally, this short and cryptic message:

eyelashes super

If only I knew what that meant. Maybe it’s an anagram, let’s see what our options are…

A Eyeless Pusher
Release Hypes Us
Healer Eyes Puss
Leashes Prey Sue
Reshape Lyes Use
Pleasures He Yes
Asleep Ere Hussy
Please Usher Yes
Ashes Spree Yule
Rashes Eye Pules

Oh dear, none of that sounds good at all. Perhaps it’s time to quietly delete all my spam and back away slowly. Nothing to see here, eyelashes super, nothing to see here.

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