Mmmmm…spam

So for the past couple of weeks the number of spam comments caught by my filter has tripled. I don’t know if that means my site has finally hit Google’s search results or if the spambot companies are just working hard to sell those fake watch penis enlargement insurance porn college degrees during the holiday season. I mean, what makes better gift than some Ciagra and a Rolaxx?

Luckily, one of my delicious spammy commenters has a sense of humor and along with the links to his virus-filled site he provides me with at least two jokes a day. Unluckily, they are terribly unfunny. For example:

Did you hear about the farmer who was found guilty of selling rotten fruit? He was judged by his pears!

Which of these things don’t belong: A tuna, a lobster, or a Chinese guy run over by a truck? The tuna. The other two are crustaceans. (I don’t even get it. Is it racist? Is it supposed to sound like crust-Asians? Because that doesn’t even make any sense.) (Oh wait, I just got it. Crushed Asian. Yeah, still not funny.)

Then of course I have the list-maker spammer. Here’s just a sampling of the keywords he thinks you might be interested in:

windows firewall disable
what is govenor minner political
where to get dc tax forms
voltage level converter
wrongful l termanation sample
west marine port supply
wcho seed
yiffy adult art
wet tshirt ordinance
will hardy is so cool
vista notepad
what is microsoft’s email address
whitmor shrink tubing
why buy a condo
yakima walmart
western cable
wire totes
women with other women
watering vegetables
who plays claire bennet in heros
yale university online mba degree
wackenhut services inc
zix free
welcome to eminence organics
witney castle
worm poo
west virginia government and legal research
wicker towel ring towel rack

So many questions! Who is Will Hardy? Why does he need a voltage level converter? Will he buy a condo? Does it have a wicker towel ring towel rack? And for the love of God, what’s a Wackenhut???

And finally, this short and cryptic message:

eyelashes super

If only I knew what that meant. Maybe it’s an anagram, let’s see what our options are…

A Eyeless Pusher
Release Hypes Us
Healer Eyes Puss
Leashes Prey Sue
Reshape Lyes Use
Pleasures He Yes
Asleep Ere Hussy
Please Usher Yes
Ashes Spree Yule
Rashes Eye Pules

Oh dear, none of that sounds good at all. Perhaps it’s time to quietly delete all my spam and back away slowly. Nothing to see here, eyelashes super, nothing to see here.

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5 Responses to “Mmmmm…spam”

  1. Well, personally I AM interested in the wet tshirt ordinance and worm poo.

    Something that makes me LOL is whenever I empty my spam folder on gmail, the google add that pops up is a recipe for spam casserole.

  2. Mandy says:

    lolz @ working it through the joke until you got it. i was right there with you.

  3. Meghan says:

    I’m kind of curious as to what worm porn is myself…

  4. Suzanne says:

    Voltage level converter? Worm poo? Totally interested!

    :)

  5. lalaland13 says:

    A wet Tshirt ordinance? Now that would be a heckuva meeting to cover. Already crafting that story in my head. “By a 3-2 vote that fell along gender lines, the city council voted to support a wet t-shirt ordinance.”

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