Posts Tagged ‘crystal mall’

The Horror

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

Since our visit with Santa was so adorable, I figured we should add to our collection of overpriced holiday photos with a visit to the Easter Bunny. I  bought a cute semi-dressy outfit from The Children’s Place (although little boy Easter clothes are a joke compared to the fiveteenbazillionty spring dresses available for little girls A JOKE I TELL YOU), picked a time when I didn’t think it would be busy, and dragged the baby and myself off to Crystal Mall.

It did not go well.

Maybe I should have picked a day when Baby Evan had a good nap and wasn’t sort of cranky to be in the stroller. Maybe I should have brought E along for back-up crazy arm-waving and clapping to distract the baby. Maybe I should known ahead of time my infant son wasn’t going to be into the giant menacing rabbit whose lap I suddenly thrust him into and then walked away. I mean, do you want to be left with this guy?


That’s how the Easter Bunny looked through Baby Evan’s eyes.

Besides the fact that the baby hated the whole scenario, I have some real problems with their Easter Bunny set up.

What’s with the paint-spattered drop cloth as a background? Is the Easter Bunny remodeling his…borough? Cave? House? And what’s with the mint-green lifeguard stand in the corner? Why are those extra bunnies wearing do-rags? And the biggest question, why is the Easter Bunny wearing Benjamin Franklin’s glasses and also possibly his overcoat? Did the Easter Bunny kill Ben Franklin? Is that how he became immortal? OMG is the Easter Bunny a VAMPIRE?

Now you can understand why Baby Evan didn’t like him.

I gave up taking pictures with my own camera and tried to comfort my poor traumatized babycakes. He was ok as long as we weren’t in the actual photo area but every time I got anywhere near the Easter Bunny he started crying again. With the help of the very patient photo-taker lady we managed to get ONE photo in which Baby Evan isn’t shaking with anger and fear.

Unfortunately, I am also in the photo, along with my totally makeup free face and the edge of my nursing bra. GORGEOUS. At least you can’t tell my hair is still wet in the back.

Seriously though, what is UP with that bunny’s outfit? And why am I vaguely disturbed that he’s not wearing pants?

Well, I guess the good news is Baby Evan probably won’t grow up to be a furry.

(Dear Mom and Grandma, PLEASE DON’T ASK WHAT THAT IS. And for the love of God don’t Google it.)