The Horror

Since our visit with Santa was so adorable, I figured we should add to our collection of overpriced holiday photos with a visit to the Easter Bunny. I  bought a cute semi-dressy outfit from The Children’s Place (although little boy Easter clothes are a joke compared to the fiveteenbazillionty spring dresses available for little girls A JOKE I TELL YOU), picked a time when I didn’t think it would be busy, and dragged the baby and myself off to Crystal Mall.

It did not go well.

Maybe I should have picked a day when Baby Evan had a good nap and wasn’t sort of cranky to be in the stroller. Maybe I should have brought E along for back-up crazy arm-waving and clapping to distract the baby. Maybe I should known ahead of time my infant son wasn’t going to be into the giant menacing rabbit whose lap I suddenly thrust him into and then walked away. I mean, do you want to be left with this guy?

NOT THE ACTUAL BUNNY AT THE CRYSTAL MALL

That’s how the Easter Bunny looked through Baby Evan’s eyes.

Besides the fact that the baby hated the whole scenario, I have some real problems with their Easter Bunny set up.

What’s with the paint-spattered drop cloth as a background? Is the Easter Bunny remodeling his…borough? Cave? House? And what’s with the mint-green lifeguard stand in the corner? Why are those extra bunnies wearing do-rags? And the biggest question, why is the Easter Bunny wearing Benjamin Franklin’s glasses and also possibly his overcoat? Did the Easter Bunny kill Ben Franklin? Is that how he became immortal? OMG is the Easter Bunny a VAMPIRE?

Now you can understand why Baby Evan didn’t like him.

I gave up taking pictures with my own camera and tried to comfort my poor traumatized babycakes. He was ok as long as we weren’t in the actual photo area but every time I got anywhere near the Easter Bunny he started crying again. With the help of the very patient photo-taker lady we managed to get ONE photo in which Baby Evan isn’t shaking with anger and fear.

Unfortunately, I am also in the photo, along with my totally makeup free face and the edge of my nursing bra. GORGEOUS. At least you can’t tell my hair is still wet in the back.

Seriously though, what is UP with that bunny’s outfit? And why am I vaguely disturbed that he’s not wearing pants?

Well, I guess the good news is Baby Evan probably won’t grow up to be a furry.

(Dear Mom and Grandma, PLEASE DON’T ASK WHAT THAT IS. And for the love of God don’t Google it.)

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9 Responses to “The Horror”

  1. Amy says:

    Sweet mother of baby Jesus, that first picture is going to keep me up all night tonight.

    I think you look great in the pic. Your make-up free face looks better than my make-up full face.

    Though I do have to say… the way he’s got his arm around you kind of looks like he took that job to pick up chicks. (Easter pun intended)

  2. sarrible says:

    I’m sure Evan was just upset because he doesn’t like chocolate. If the Easter Bunny was going to bring him, say, a basket full of breast milk, he’d probably be thrilled.

  3. FourInchHeels says:

    THAT is your makeup-free face?! I’d be thrilled if my makeup-ful pictures looked half as good. All things considered, it’s quite a good Easter picture, although I wouldn’t be too quick to delete the crying ones – his girlfriends are going to love those some day!

  4. Christa says:

    I did not even try to do a Santa or Easter Bunny picture since I know from experience that handing P. off to strange people will result in serious screaming. I have secret envy of those brave enough to do it – isn’t it some parental rite of passage?

    (Also, yeah, you’re make-up free face looks like me in make-up. Jealous!)

  5. Meg says:

    As someone who spent a memorable Christmas season in college working as Santa’s Helper at the mall, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for NOT being one of those parents who thinks a picture of your child screaming in horror is cute or funny.

  6. bebehblog says:

    Meg – Although clearly I think the picture of Baby Evan crying is cute and/or funny enough to write a humorous post about AND post on the internet. Parenting fail.

  7. Robyn says:

    This post was so funny that I laughed out laugh so hard while at my cubicle at work, that multiple people came over to see what was so funny. Thanks for brightening my usually boring lunch hour!

  8. Robyn says:

    This post was so funny that I laughed out loud so hard while at my cubicle at work, that multiple people came over to see what was so funny. Thanks for brightening my usually boring lunch hour!

  9. […] Friday I went to Stroller Strides at the mall and saw that they had the same weird Ben Franklin Easter Bunny they’ve had for the last few years, so I knew I had to find somewhere else. About an hour […]

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