Posts Tagged ‘appointments’

All I Want Is A Freakin’ Frosty

Thursday, August 12th, 2010

It turns out I didn’t need to be worried at all about leaving Baby Evan for a weekend, since not only did he survive without me, I don’t think he even noticed I was gone. As far as he was concerned, I was just at knitting group or the grocery store or upstairs napping for a minute and would probably be right back. It helps that 16 months is too early to have much concept of time. It also helped that he didn’t fall on his head or break any bones or knock out a tooth or accidentally cut off his arm with the hedge trimmers or something else that might require mama hugs.

As I said when I was still debating the trip, I wasn’t worried at all about E’s ability to handle the baby on his own – he’s a great father. Actually, I don’t think that’s a good enough title – a “Great Father” sounds like someone from a 50’s TV sitcom who provides a paycheck and health insurance, plays catch with his kids, and then maybe beats them occasionally, but only with switches thinner than his thumb. And of course when he does, he says “This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.”

E might do all that (besides the beating thing, obviously)(at least I hope that is obvious)(by which I mean he doesn’t beat us, not that he uses big sticks) but he’s really just a great PARENT. When he’s not at work, he parents equally as much as I do. He does bedtime and bath time on his own every single night. He changes diapers, even the cloth ones I talked him into, and voluntarily uses them when I’m not here to remind him. He can feed and dress and comfort Baby Evan as needed. He can take the kid to the grocery store or the hardware store or the electronics store and not be baffled by car seat straps and diaper bags and shopping carts and strollers. There is no bumbling or fumbling or oh-silly-man-pretending-to-be-a-mom pitying glances from strangers. And as Baby Evan turns more and more into Little Person You Can Actually Interact With Evan, E gets better and better at parenting.

(As I write this, my boys are actually missing. I think they went to Hartford to buy roller blades but the last time I saw them, E picked the baby up from the ultrasound appointment and just left. I came home to a silent, wonderfully empty house.)

That being said…you know what E is NOT good at?  Being pregnant. I mean, my being pregnant. He’d probably be terrible at being pregnant too, but unfortunately science isn’t able to provide that joyous experience to men so we’ll never know. I expect it would go something like this:

Wah, I feel nauseous! Wah, my feet hurt! Wah, I’m hungry! No I don’t want THAT to eat, I want something else. I don’t know what. But I need it NOW! Wah, I have Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction* and it hurts to do everything so I’m going to just lie here on the couch for the next 5 months! Wah wah wah!

No offense to E. I think ALL dudes would suck at pregnancy.

I just think it would be nice if E even NOTICED my delicate condition. When I flop down on the couch and say “Oh man my feet hurt” he says “Why?” When it’s 9 pm and I say “I’m going to bed” he says “Why?”  When I say “Honey, it’s too hot to cook and I don’t feel like having chicken tonight anyways” he says “Why?” When I say “Man, I’m really in the mood for a Frosty, any chance you want to go get me one?” He says “Why?” or more accurately, “No frickin’ way. Your legs aren’t broken.”  He’s never read a pregnancy book, not even the special chapter in the Girlfriend’s Guide I bookmarked for him and left totally inconspicuously on his pillow. And then in the bathroom. And then on top of his computer. And then literally hit him over the head with. As far as I know, everything he’s learned about pregnancy at all has been from reading my blog.** He doesn’t make a point to take off work for my (admittedly boring) OB visits, but he also doesn’t make a point of attending ANY of my appointments, including the one yesterday where there was a teeny tiny chance the tech would say something scary and turn the monitor away and I would end up alone in an office while the doctor said horrible things like “abnormal” and “physical defect”.***

Maybe I expect too much. Maybe I’ve internalized those commercials where some dude gets up at 3 am and drives all over town to find just the right flavor of chocolate fudgey mint chip ice cream for his pregnant wife. Maybe that – GASP! – doesn’t happen in real life. And I KNOW taking time off of work isn’t exactly easy when the U.S. Government literally owns your ass. Plus I need him to save those off days for things like getting my teeth cleaned and, oh I don’t know, GIVING BIRTH. I’m not expecting constant foot rubs or being waited on hand and foot or a surprise maid service to come in and scrub my floors.

But it would be nice, every once in a while, if someone would just go get me a Frosty.

*I have it. I had SPD last time too, but not this early, so I have no idea just how bad it’s going to get. I also didn’t know what it was called, although shockingly knowing what it’s called in NO WAY makes it hurt less.

**Which might be part of the problem – he often forgets that reading something on my site and then talking about it with guys at work is NOT THE SAME as having a conversation with me. The same way my blog-less friends often forget to call and chat because, duh, they already KNOW how I’m doing.

***The doctor actually said “I don’t know why you’re here” and “I’m sure your office saw something they questioned, but I don’t see anything worth following up.” And to be fair, before E took the baby away the tech did say “It all looks good, nothing serious, the doctor just wants to take a look.”

6 Month Appointment

Friday, October 9th, 2009

Length: 26 1/4 inches (50th percentile)
Weight: 19 lbs 15 oz (80th percentile – 75% of which is just in his GIANT THIGHS)
Head circumference: 45 cm (Normal and the flatness has definitely improved)

I discussed both kinds of flu shot with my pediatrician, and she recommended the regular kind but not the H1N1. We actually don’t even qualify for this first round of swine flu vaccines. They’re only giving them to kids over the age of 2 who have a sibling 6 months or younger at home. So all that OMG WHAT DO I DO?!? freaking out ended up being totally unnecessary. Well, only if you would call hours staring at the ceiling wondering if I’m going to poison my baby “unnecessary”. Not like I could have done something more productive with that time, like laundry or exercise or sleep.

My ped assured me we don’t have any H1N1 risk factors (day care, siblings in school, other adults at home) and that if I wanted to reopen the issue in a month we could talk again, but I think I’m just going to drop it. I did go ahead and get Baby Evan the regular flu shot, since he was only due for two other vaccines this month anyway and the flu is NOT something I want to go through with a 6 month old. She also told me the kind of flu shot they give infants comes in a vial containing a single dose of medication, not the kind they draw several doses from, and therefor doesn’t contain any preservatives (like Thermisol, the stuff people worry about) at all. I’d never heard or read that before, which is weird, considering how many terrifying Google searches I’ve performed using the words “vaccine”.

This next paragraph is the part where I’d usually talk about THE SCREAMING and my damaged ear drums and how the baby hates me now. Instead, I’m going to yell about how I LOVE MY MAI TEI CARRIER. After Baby Evan’s exam – but before the shots – I took off his pants and popped him in the carrier facing in so he could see my face and play with my nursing necklace. He got through two of the three shots without even blinking and the last one just got a startled little yelp before he went back to being his normal happy self. The nurse was super impressed and said she was going to recommend a carrier to all the moms during vaccines. I would brag some more about my excellent mothering and comforting skills and my super brave baby but the carrier thing wasn’t my idea. I stole it from someone at breastfeeding group. But she doesn’t read this blog so as far as you know I’m a total genius. Check me out interwebs! Where’s my Nobel Peace Prize?


Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

I’m definitely having a baby! Just one though, which goes to show exactly how lousy my intuition about everything related to my uterus is. I got mostly good news but a little less good news at my first real appointment.

Good: Yes, I am pregnant. The baby is where it is supposed to be and it has a strong heartbeat. The doctor liked my answers to all the health questions and reassured me that I’ve been doing everything right. The very kind nurse didn’t make me look at the scale and assured me I weighed “Exactly 120, just like you thought” (Obviously a joke, I haven’t weighed 120 in a million years). The doctor was also very nice and reminded me of my aunt, but there’s only a 1 in 7 chance she’ll actually deliver my baby. My next appointment is September 19th, only 3 days after Evan’s promotion ceremony, so the time between now and then should go very quickly. I thought the whole hearing the baby’s heartbeat thing would have been more dramatic, but when you’ve got a probe shoved up your hoohoo it’s hard to concentrate.

Not so good: I’m not as pregnant as I thought. Based on the size of the baby (less than a centimeter!) I’m only at about 7 weeks. I just lost 2 whole weeks!! My new due date is April 1st, which is pushing awfully close to my own April 10th birthday. It also explains why I wasn’t having symptoms, and means I’ve got 5 more weeks of feeling like crap until I’m out of the first trimester. Also not so good is my blood test showed I am Rh-negative. I read the little pamphlet they gave me and still can’t keep it all straight, but basically it means my body might attack the fetus if the baby is Rh-positive. The doctor can prevent most issues with a shot at 28 weeks and another after the birth (ugh, not thinking about that part yet), and if the baby is also Rh-negative there is no issue at all. I also learned my blood type: 0 negative! Can you believe I’m 26 and I never knew? I feel so guilty for not donating blood in the past, what with my super universal donor status.

Below are my ultrasound pictures. I’m posting them more out of obligation than anything else because even though it is my own baby, I still think they’re a little boring. Oh look, a blob. Hopefully at my next ultrasound in November there will be more to see, and we can find out if baby (as E said) has a hamburger or a hot dog. Is it wrong that now I’m really hungry?