Not. Even. Bacon.

Baby Evan is almost 11 months old and still does not eat anything. I’m getting to the point where – although what my obviously happy, healthy kid eats is NONE OF THEIR DAMN BUSINESS – people have started giving me funny looks when I turn down children’s menus and offers to “just let him try a little bit.” (Actual conversation with E’s boss at Christmas party – Boss: Oh, we didn’t plan any food for the baby. E: That’s ok, we brought food. Boss: What, like a bottle or something? E: …Or something.) It’s hard to explain to strangers that although Baby Evan will literally run across a room to grab the food from your hand, it’s gonna come right back out as soon as it hits his tongue.  All of my pockets are full of mushed up pieces of Cheerio the baby spit out and I had to pick up because I am not a jerk who leaves drooly bits of cereal all over the play area/pediatrician’s office/Target/your shirt. I’m also afraid people are starting to suspect I’m doing this on purpose, like some sort of extended breastfeeding Nazi who won’t let her kid eat any solid foods because I think BREAST IS SO MUCH THE BEST that everything else is unnecessary. “Anything?” people ask when I tell them he doesn’t eat, “Really? Have you tried Cheerios? My kid loves Cheerios. How about apple slices/Popsicles/mac and cheese/chicken nuggets/a whole turkey leg?” No, I say, not anything. But thanks.

I did talk to a nutritionist (also known as my friend Megan’s mom) about Baby Evan’s strange dietary habits and she assured me we were still well within the realm of normal child behavior.  She had plenty of stories of kids – her own included – who didn’t eat anything until 14, 15, 16 months. After looking over the list of foods that have gone over pretty well versus the list of total failures, we decided it was a texture things as well as an independence thing. Mushy food on a spoon is AWFUL. Crunchy things or anything he could potentially choke on are OK. Things he can chew with his many sharp little teeth are best. My plan of action is to just keep offering food – some food, any food, all food – until we find something that he’ll swallow, and work on “balanced and nutritionally sound” later.

Foods he hates even more than I hate Katy Perry
Rice cereal
Baby food
Things eaten with a spoon
Pureed anything

Foods he almost ate once
Celery sticks
Carrot sticks
Banana nut Cheerios
Peas from some sort of Gerber baby stew meal
Soybeans in their pods

Foods almost worth feeding
Teething biscuits
French fries
Conversation hearts Valentine candy

Foods he eats enough of to provide nutrition

Thanks God I got the hang of this breastfeeding thing. Hey at least it’s cheap, easy and always available.

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5 Responses to “Not. Even. Bacon.”

  1. Amy says:

    It is so interesting to read about the differences between each baby’s likes and dislikes. My daughter who is 9 months will eat almost any veggie pureed or in small pieces, but if you offer her pears, applesauce, or peaches she clamps her mouth shut….though she does like banana and avacado. I guess she’s not going to be as much of a sweet tooth as her mom.

    I love your blog…just found it a few weeks ago. It’s very helpful that our babies are close in age, though your’s is a lot more advanced in the gross motor skills currently. :) Mine is only rolling, but I’m glad she’s not completely mobile yet; sounds like a lot more work. :)

  2. A friend of mine had a similar situation with her 10 month old. She just kept trying and eventually she started to eat the foods that were offered her. She had more success with finger foods. Every baby really is different. At 4 months Ivy started staring at us when we’d eat and making eating motions with her mouth. When we told the pediatrician he was like “Yeah, try solids” and it’s been a journey with a tiny foodie ever since. The only thing she won’t eat is green beans, and I can’t say I blame her.

  3. Brigid Keely says:

    Niko eats pretty much anything offered to him and lots of stuff that isn’t. A friend of mine’s kid, who is just over a year old, still isn’t eating anything that doesn’t come out of a boob. Kids! It’s like they’re tiny people or something!

  4. Merin says:

    Not to revel in your frustration or anything, but this makes me feel better about Cora’s crappy eating habits (she did, however, enjoy sucking on some bacon). Why does she put everything else in her mouth but real food, including the dog chew toys? Maybe if I served her food frozen in a hollowed-out soup bone, or put puffs into a buster cube, we would have more success.

  5. “foods he almost ate once” made me giggle. but, you know, in a totally supportive, empathetic way.

    best of luck with the solids! i’m sure he’ll catch on soon enough. and at least you know that with all that breast feeding, he’ll be one super healthy nugget!


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