Water Baby

Not so much.

It’s incredibly unfortunate that the son of a Navy Chief and the grandson of a Coast Guard Officer (official motto: Semper Paratus, which is Latin for “why aren’t you wearing your life jacket????”) would hate the water. And yet Baby Evan has gone from perfectly happy to be placed in large, questionable bodies of water to refusing to even stand near a sprinkler. It’s also unfortunate that his parents wasted an enormous amount of money on a boat they can’t really afford thinking it would be a fantastic way to spend time as a family. Now “spending time as a family” consists of alternately clutching a thrashing screaming child and shoving a boob in his mouth to try and calm him down. (That last one is mostly me.)

I seem to have accidentally stumbled upon a solution to our problem though. Or at least, found a cause/effect relationship…

Shorts + shirt + infant life jacket = WTF is wrong with you people??

Swim trunks + rash guard + boat = SRSLY GUYS GET ME OUT OF HERE.

At the lake, this combo is still unpopular.

This was a major breakthrough, accomplished with LOTS of coaxing.

Look Evan! LOOK! DUCKS! Quack quack quack quack!!!! Duckies!!! Isn't that EXCITING? Don't you want to SWIM like the DUCKIES?!?!

Haven't you give up yet woman?

OK. I touched it. Almost. Good enough. And now I am DONE.

Phew, finally part of this water park thing I can get on board with.

Have you seen the trend yet? The one thing all these pictures have in common and the one thing we could change to try and make the baby happier?

Can you see it now?

How about now?

So I guess our current choices are join a nudist colony or just invest in LOTS of sunscreen.

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11 Responses to “Water Baby”

  1. Virginia says:

    Hilarious! I love it!

  2. Amy says:

    You crack me up!!!

    We haven’t taken Mia swimming yet (maybe this weekend), but she loves baths. I’m hoping she will like it, but I’ll let you know…

  3. Ha! Ivy loves the water, but we usually take her in naked or wearing only a swim diaper (if it’s someones pool). Though yesterday we were at the beach and she wasn’t too into dipper her feet in the surf, but I’m betting it was b/c the water temp up here is still pretty chilly, not because she had a shirt on :)

  4. Emmie Bee says:

    The best on is the one after the ducks when he is standing next to the fountain. Stone face. I am dying. So cute.

  5. I think baby E is on to something. Skinny dipping is definitely the way to go :)

  6. Michelle says:

    Is that Gardner Lake you were on? and the state launch in Salem? That is the “lake” you will hear me referring to in any of my upcoming summer blogs. My in-laws live on the lake, as do the hubbs’ aunt and uncle–which is where we got married. If that is Gardner’s Lake, this is just another sign that we definitely need to consumate this online friendship!!

    • bebehblog says:

      It IS the Gardner Lake boat launch! They’ve really let the beach go but it’s never very crowded and the water is warm enough for swimming so I like it there.

  7. jess says:

    ha. i don’t use those skin guards because my son would feel the same way as yours. so we just swim in the shade with a butt load of sunscreen on.

  8. Suzanne says:

    Ohmygod. Just laughed out loud. And snorted.

    You are one funny lady. And, I just love your little nudist baby. He has the right idea! :)

  9. Merin says:

    Cora loves naked too, so I just keep a bottle of spray sunblock outside and spray her down! She is like a greased pig most afternoons.

  10. Londonmum says:

    awww damnit, just as I was about to buy one of those UV suits for my son, you have made me see the error of my ways ;-)

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