Not so much.

It’s incredibly unfortunate that the son of a Navy Chief and the grandson of a Coast Guard Officer (official motto: Semper Paratus, which is Latin for “why aren’t you wearing your life jacket????”) would hate the water. And yet Baby Evan has gone from perfectly happy to be placed in large, questionable bodies of water to refusing to even stand near a sprinkler. It’s also unfortunate that his parents wasted an enormous amount of money on a boat they can’t really afford thinking it would be a fantastic way to spend time as a family. Now “spending time as a family” consists of alternately clutching a thrashing screaming child and shoving a boob in his mouth to try and calm him down. (That last one is mostly me.)

I seem to have accidentally stumbled upon a solution to our problem though. Or at least, found a cause/effect relationship…

Shorts + shirt + infant life jacket = WTF is wrong with you people??

Swim trunks + rash guard + boat = SRSLY GUYS GET ME OUT OF HERE.

At the lake, this combo is still unpopular.

This was a major breakthrough, accomplished with LOTS of coaxing.

Look Evan! LOOK! DUCKS! Quack quack quack quack!!!! Duckies!!! Isn't that EXCITING? Don't you want to SWIM like the DUCKIES?!?!

Haven't you give up yet woman?

OK. I touched it. Almost. Good enough. And now I am DONE.

Phew, finally part of this water park thing I can get on board with.

Have you seen the trend yet? The one thing all these pictures have in common and the one thing we could change to try and make the baby happier?

Can you see it now?

How about now?

So I guess our current choices are join a nudist colony or just invest in LOTS of sunscreen.