OK, so this isn’t technically a BABY shower or in any way baby related – at least I don’t think it is, unless the bride Has Something to Tell Us – but I’m still SUPER excited about all the cute stuff I found in planning the decorations and favors for my friend Erin’s bridal shower. If I was at all capable of sticking to a budget I would seriously consider going to event planner school (is that a thing?) or just printing up a bunch of business cards and begging people to let me plan their parties. But, alas, I am incapable of not going WILDLY OVERBOARD with adorable things I find on Etsy and would get fired immediately when I spent twice what I was allowed.

Man, I love Etsy. Hardcore love. I think I’ll marry it and get it pregnant.

P.S. Erin, if you want to be surprised on Saturday, LOOK AWAY! Although if you secretly hate the color pink and think butterflies are tacky and break out in hives when in the same room as tiny soap, it would probably be best to check out the post below and prepare yourself.

Clockwise from top left:
1. Shower invites from Tiny Prints
2. Two yards of fabric from JoAnn’s that I’m going to hem for a tablecloth (although this still isn’t done as of 11 pm on Thursday)
3. LESS THAN HALF of my milkglass collection I’m going to fill with pink/blue flowers as a centerpiece
4. Thank you notes (that match my colors!) from Target

Clockwise from top left:
1. ABSOFREAKINLUTELY ADORABLE print from Hugs & Kisses Designs (done by my friend Becca). She usually makes those with baby info but I forced convinced her to make a wedding one! Part decor, part gift. Uh, that WAS supposed to be a surprise. Oh well.
2. Prizes for the guests who win the shower games (which will NOT include wrapping anyone in toilet paper) – wrapping paper from Target, actual gifts are from Bath & Body Works
3. Mini soaps to be given out as favors from BLCBodyShop. She custom wrapped them in my colors and printed “A sunny future starts with a shower” without even once laughing at my corniness. They are coconut lime scented. I did not eat any. Yet.
4. Tiny paper butterflies to perch on the edges of all the guests’ glasses from byemma. I saw these and spent at least 30 minutes looking for a tutorial on how to make my own before I realized they were so inexpensive I couldn’t even buy the paper cheaply enough to make it worthwhile to do-it-myself. I LURVE THEM.

P.S. Do YOU have an Etsy shop? Please let me know. Unless you are Emily, because I have already called dibs on everything in her shop, so don’t even THINK about buying any of those clippies or dresses.

Thanks to much advice here and offline, I have decided I am definitely going to go to Virginia sans baby next weekend. I think the absolute deciding factor was that in a few short months I’m going to have a newborn again and it will probably be at least another year before the chance to escape sleep in presents itself again and without a break I’m afraid the burnout will be fast and painful.

I’m slightly giddy already thinking about how much fun spending time with my two very best girlfriends from high school will be. I might not be quite as much fun as I was at my own bachelorette party (drinking lighter fluid is probably not a wise choice when one is pregnant)(or any other time)(I thought it was just really strong alcohol)(shut up I was 22) but I love these girls dearly and don’t see them nearly enough. And with no baby to put to bed/run home to check on I can stay out until I collapse from pregnancy exhaustion at 10 pm as late as I want. My minivan is going to be quite useful as the DD vehicle too. We shall call it the Swagger Wagon. Maybe I’ll even write it on the side.

Plus, I am really looking forward to what I am sure will be a renewed appreciation from my husband for all I do around here when I get home. Two and a half days isn’t exactly a long time but I’m hoping it’s long enough for him to learn…

– Just how quickly laundry piles up when you don’t do a load for three days.

– What it’s like to be solely responsible for lunch and dinner (although who am I kidding, he’s getting fast food all weekend).

– The terror that is 11:30 am. Too early for a nap, too screamy and miserable for playing.

– The mystery of where all this DAMN PET HAIR comes from.

– Where we keep the paper towels/Tylenol/Swiffer/plastic plates/mini-bagels/eight million other things I feel like he’s always asking for instead of just looking. zOr remembering, since I TOLD HIM YESTERDAY.

– What it’s like to never ever get to use a bathroom alone/with the door closed.

– How difficult it is to just “run out to the store” when you have a child who may or may not be in the mood for “running out” to anywhere.

– How lucky you feel when nap time lasts 3 hours.

– The amazing moment when you actually hope the baby wakes up because you miss him.

– The first two hours of the day when Baby Evan is always happy and fun and the most darling child on the planet.

– Strangers in every kind of public place instantly falling in love with your kid and how proud you feel when he smiles at them or waves bye-bye.

I am also looking forward to missing my kid, in the sense that it will be a nice long break during which maybe I can forget some of the particularly awful moments as of late and just focus on how much I really do love being a mom. To paraphrase, it’s hard to miss it when it WON’T GO AWAY, you know?

(P.S. I feel sort of like I’m talking about this wedding/bridal shower an ENORMOUS AMOUNT considering I’m not the one getting married. But it’s going to be the first real grown-up type event I/we’ve gone to since Baby Evan was born so in my book it’s pretty much the equivalent of being invited to The Oscars.)

So we’re pretty much done with the breastfeeding around these parts. Thanks to a combination of a sudden drop in supply due to pregnancy and Baby Evan’s obsession with peanut butter, we’ve gone from exclusive nursing to only once or twice a day in less than 3 months. (I can’t even begin to explain how much peanut butter that kid eats on a daily basis. I think if there was a sudden peanut shortage he would starve to death rather than eat something not slathered in sticky, nutty goodness.)

For a month or so I’ve been following the “don’t offer, don’t refuse” method of weaning, but in the past week I stepped it up to “distract and offer an alternative” even if Baby Evan specifically makes the sign for “milk” (to be fair, he uses that sign for milk, food, water, juice, and sometimes ATTENTION!!!!!). Today he skipped his remaining nursing session – first thing in the morning – and only latched for a few seconds as I rocked him down for his nap.

As ambivalent as I wasabout the end of our breastfeeding relationship, I can now say THANK GOD he’s done. Pregnancy has done weird stuff to my hormones. Weird, hurty, uncomfortable stuff. Rather than the warm-fuzzy-happy feeling I used to get when the baby nursed, now it just feels like someone’s gnawing on my boob. I have to grit my teeth to keep myself from clawing my own skin off and mutter “getoffgetoffgetoffgetofffffff” under my breath. It is…unpleasant. I don’t feel any differently about breastfeeding in general – and I can’t wait to nurse the next bebeh – but for NOW, I am dunzo.

ANYWAYS, because I am no longer nursing day and night, I no longer have to be here. I mean, YES, I do have to be here, because I am his mother and he needs me and loves me (despite the fact that he STILL doesn’t say Mama) and there isn’t anyone else to watch him while E is at work. But there is no longer an invisible tether attached to my nipples. Which means I’m having a teeny tiny crisis.

In August, I’m going to/hosting a bridal shower (and bachelorette party)(I’m DD)(because I can’t drink and because I drive a minivan)(at least being lame has it’s advantages for SOMEONE) for one of my oldest friends in Virginia. I had been trying to talk E into driving down with me, since 6+ hours in the car on 95 by myself with the baby sounds like the OPPOSITE OF FUN. Add pregnant to that mix and all I can think of is how much that sounds like the start of a particularly tragic Dateline story. Film at 11.

Today E suggested “Why don’t you just leave the baby here with me?”

OMG WHAT?

The idea of not bringing Baby Evan is both horrifying and incredibly appealing. NO BEBEH FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND? Where am I going to get my daily dose of adorables? How would he survive without me?? NO BEBEH FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND? I could sleep in as long as I wanted. I wouldn’t spend every second worried he was driving my mother crazy or falling down the non-baby-proofed stairs or pooping behind the dining room table. I might actually enjoy myself. Is that even ALLOWED?

For the record, I have NO DOUBT that E would do a great job with the baby by himself. I have zero concerns at all about that half of this equation. I’m worried about how I’M going to handle it.

Advice, please. Have you gone away without your kid(s) yet? Were you crushed with guilt and bad-mother abandonment issues? Are you dead?

To grandmother’s assisted living facility and grandfather’s nursing home we go! OK, so the song doesn’t work quiet as well since they sold the super cool old house (with a servant’s staircase! and a laundry chute! and a scary basement!) but we did go over the Hudson and through Western Pennsylvania Massachusetts.

I’ve felt bad for a while that almost no one on my Mom’s side of the family had ever met the baby, so this weekend my very kind, very patient, very good at driving through a frickin’ BLIZZARD husband chauffeured Baby Evan and I up to Rochester, New York for my grandmother’s 83rd birthday. I took a zillion pictures. This is going to be totally boring for absolutely everyone except for my family who was actually there so feel free to skip today’s post.

Baby Evan's first ride in an elevator. E's face is like that because he just finished saying "You're going to take a picture of this, aren't you?"

Wheelchairs! Just like strollers, except easier to fall out of!

With Grandpa (Great-Grandpa to Baby Evan)

We were trying to figure out what Great-Grandpa would be in Swedish, since my mom is MorMor (mother's mother). MorMorFar? FarMorMor?

With Grandma (Great-Grandma to Baby Evan)

Baby Evan and his Great-Aunt Susan (Mom's sister) at the very cute bead store where she works

Mom's brother, Chuck. I really don't think Chuck would like being called a "great-uncle".

Baby Evan with my cousin Jenny, who I remember as being 6 years old. Now she has a boyfriend. I think that means he pulled her pigtales on the playground.

A jaunty hat is fun for all ages!

What do you want me to do, sing and dance? I'm smiling! Throw me a french fry or two!

The view from our hotel balcony. Rochester had about two feet of snow (with more coming down) right before we got there.

No, you cannot come out of the 7th floor balcony to get a closer look at the snow.

Dear Mr. Santa(1),
Although I know Baby Evan must have told you “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth(2)”, I would really appreciate a Silent Night(3) at some point during The Twelve Days of Christmas(4). Between the teething and his insane level of hatred for the pack’n’play, I’m totally exhausted and can’t help but wonder What Child is This(5) who keeps torturing me. As soon as we lay him down in the baby cage-I mean, the playpen- he wakes up no matter how sound asleep he was previously and cries like we just told him Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer(6). Although I’m very excited for his first real Christmas morning tomorrow, I’m afraid all the Jingle Bells(7) and your reindeer Up On The Rooftop(8) tonight might make it even more difficult than usual to get him to sleep. I know you’re in a hurry to bring Joy to the World(9) but if you could try and be extra quiet I would really appreciate it. And while you’re in the area, could you check on that BabyHawk I’m supposed to be getting soon? I wish I had know Last Christmas(10) how awesome baby-wearing is so I could have asked for carriers before I gave birth, but getting one this year will definitely make it a Happy Christmas(11). Really, I’m just so happy to be Home for the Holidays(12) this year that anything you could bring me will just be icing on the cake (frosting on the cookie?) If you happen to see Baby Jesus Away in the Manger(13) tell him “hi” from our family and thanks for the White Christmas(14).
Happy Holidays(15)!
Suzanne

*Sorry y’all, I’m feeling super cheesey this Christmas Eve and am doing all my posting from an iPhone this week so the typos may be worse than usual (see how I just casually mentioned my fancy new phone without being all braggy and annoying? And then see how I totally ruined it by adding this aside? And aren’t you both jealous and hating me a little bit right now?) Safe travels, Merry Christmas, and may the joy of the season be felt by you and your loved ones.*