So it turns out Caroline is not only a genius when it comes to mobility, but a genius at EVERYTHING. I know you’re not going to believe me, because everyone thinks their baby is a genius, but it’s true. She is a tiny, adorable genius.

Caroline is super good at communicating. She can say kitty, mommy, daddy, hi, bye, cheese and yes. Then on a whim I showed her the sign for “fish” and she learned it immediately. Now she can sign fish, hat, milk, more, please and thank you. And she does! She signs please and thank you!! Plus she puts it together to say “cheese” while signing more and then sign please. I’m going to have to get out my baby sign stuff from the class I took with Evan and teach her some more. Heck, I should probably just break out War & Peace and we’ll start reading it at bedtime now, seeing as how she’s a genius and all. She also has a baby language that sounds like “ttkka ttkka ttkka!” that means “tickle tickle”, but it also means “let’s play” and “let’s go” and “I’m happy” and “PAY ATTENTION TO ME.”

It’s kind of weird, having this tiny little baby – because she is still tiny, people are always shocked when I say she’s 14 months – who acts so much like a little person. She will grab your hand, anyone’s hand really, and lead them around the mall or the store or the house or anywhere they will follow. And it’s adorable because people always LET her get away with it. She also does the back-up-into-any-available-lap thing Evan used to do so don’t sit on the floor unless you’re ready for a lap full of ginger. And today at a friend’s birthday she made every single adult hang her upside down. Which is not something people normally DO to babies, especially babies they don’t necessarily know very well, but she is both convincing and insistent. Someone suggested I tie a little sign around her neck that says “If you pick me up I will throw myself backwards” to avoid accidental head-dropping.

She still eats anything, but is on a fruit and cheese kick which is…not so good for the diapers. We’re down to only nursing before nap and before bed and she doesn’t nurse to sleep for either, so E can do it if he’s home. I’ve got 21 days left to wean her entirely, but even if I were to leave right now I suspect she’d have a rough 24 hours and then be totally over it. She drinks milk/water/juice out of any kind of cup and just generally shows up her brother’s super picky habits on a daily basis.

Likes include blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, watermelon, yellow American cheese slices, climbing, dancing, music, slides, peek a boo, shoving her entire hand in my mouth, her brother, the kitty, books, pretending to be a dinosaur, hanging upside down, running, Daddy, smiling, tickles and pretending to use the iPad while really just smearing stuff on it.

Dislikes include raspberries (who knows why), having ANYTHING taken away, shopping carts, sitting still, having her nose wiped and falling on her head. Although she falls on her head so regularly maybe that IS something she likes.

Bazillion pics now, milestones below:

Giant head bump is GIANT. Although she doesn't seem to mind at all.

Vintage sweater & hand-me-down party dress and shoes

Being hauled off to eat cupcakes. Torture!!

Maybe she's a musical genius too!

14 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Eats with fingers – Score one for baby-led weaning! She can feed herself almost anything, especially if you put it in a snack trap. She can also feed herself with a fork/spoon if you put the food on it for her.
Empties containers of contents – My floors, let me show you them. Oh wait I CAN’T because they are covered in all the things Caroline took out of containers.
Imitates others – Yes! That’s why I started signing.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Toddles well – Oh Baby Center.
Initiates games – She will grab my hand and make me play things like “pat baby’s mouth while she goes ahhhhhh to make a funny sound” or “everybody try on this hat AHAHAHA THAT’S HILARIOUS”.
Points to one body part when asked – She knows “head” and she can find MY nose, but I don’t know if she knows any others.
Responds to instructions (e.g., “give me a kiss”) – When she feels like it. TODDLERS.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Uses a spoon or fork – See above.
Matches lids with appropriate containers – I seem to remember having trouble answering this one with Evan too, since we don’t have any container/lid toys. I think she would understand the concept, since she’s a baby genius and all.
Pushes and pulls toys while walking – No biggie.

I sort of can’t believe that after 33 months of posts – and only 2 more to go – I completely forgot Evan’s 34th monthday. Just totally let it blow right by without even a thought. I’ve had no trouble adjusting to writing 2012 on everything but admitting it’s February? Forget about it. At least it was just a monthday and not an actual birthday I missed. Like my husband’s. Which is on Saturday. Oh crap.

I think by blocking the date out of my head I was subconsciously avoiding trying to write this post. 34 month old Evan is pretty much the same as 33 month Evan which will probably be the same as 35 month Evan. This isn’t an age with big, exciting milestones to celebrate and check off and compare to other kids. This is an age of subtleties and new emotions and suddenly realizing my kid is drinking from a real cup and helping watch his sister at the playground and sitting quietly while we wait for an appointment. Yesterday in the car he said “My trains are right here, Mommy, all my trains” and I realized he has just used a personal pronoun correctly, twice. I’m not sure I’m ready for pronouns to replace all the Mommys and Evans and Daddys and Sisters. I can’t even pretend he’s a baby anymore. No matter how hard I squeeze him he just keeps on growing.

We are in the midst of a bedtime/naptime renegotiation, where he NEEDS a nap or he ends up falling asleep on the floor but if he DOES take a nap he won’t go to bed without hours of delays and then wakes up at 4 am, turns on all our lights and insists it’s morning. Even though we skipped naps on Tuesday, he tried that TWICE Wednesday night – once at midnight, once at 3 am and I ended up lying in his bed for an hour listening to him protest how NOT SLEEPY he was until he drifted off. I’ve been around the parenting block enough times now to know this is A Phase and like all Phases it will change before I can really do anything about it – but I’m still considering a door lock for his room.

When it comes to The Tantrums, a few parenting books are on their way to my door thanks to the magic of two-day shipping with a trip to the library on the agenda for tomorrow. I also took a more proactive approach and signed both kids up for weekly gymnastics. At the first class, Little Evan ran around like a wild monkey and then cried his eyes out when it was time to go home. At our second class, he ran around like a wild monkey, attempted a cartwheel, learned to do a somersault, swung on the high bar, waiting his turn, jumped in the foam pit, threw a Frisbee through a hoop, and cried his eyes out when it was time to go home. How many classes do I think it will take before he participates in warm up, jumps off the trampoline, learns to vault and DOESN’T cry when we leave? I have no idea but I’m willing to keep taking him until it happens. STRUCTURE is the name of the game, folks.

Speaking of structure, Evan heard some of the girls at Stroller Strides talking about school and now he keeps asking when he gets to go. “Evan go school too Mommy! See friends, see teacher, see trains. Bye-bye Mommy! See-ya later!” I guess I can’t keep putting off a decision for much longer, not unless I want to crush his dreams of backpacks and new friends and access to crayons that haven’t been chewed up by a certain small ginger toddler. I wrote “call preschool  at the church for a tour” on my to-do list today and if I like them I’m going to call it good and sign him up. I decided to stop stressing SO MUCH about preschool. We’re talking about circle time and finger painting here, not choosing between Ivy League colleges. As long as they don’t believe in corporal punishment or include a unit on Zenu our benevolent overlord I don’t think I need to spend so much energy on researching every single option withing a 60 mile radius.

I would like to sum up 34 months in a short, catchy way but honestly there is TOO MUCH of EVERYTHING to even try.

Likes include carrots, lollipops, trains, chips, dinosaurs, books, being carried, running, sitting in my lap, not sitting in my lap, Daddy, babies, friends, his blankie, milk, sleeping, Mickey Mouse, iPads, singing, the alphabet, helicopters, dogs, kitties, and the aquarium.

Dislikes include really loud noises, waiting his turn, riding in the shopping cart, sharing, and being forced to use the potty when he’d rather be playing even when he REALLY REALLY has to go.

I swear he's getting MORE gingery by the day

I have to put his dinosaurs to bed before he'll take a nap

Night night Mommy! Get out Evan's room!

34 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Names one color – His favorite colors are orange, pink and purple, but he still gets the rest of them mixed up a lot. Still on my list of stuff to ask about at his 36 month check-up.
• Names one friend – He cried yesterday because he didn’t get to see his friends, all of whom he can name.
• Carries on a simple conversation – Yes, although sometimes I have NO idea what he’s talking about.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Alternates feet going up and down stairs – Yes, although he fell the other day and is now being SUPER cautious on the back steps.
• Uses prepositions (e.g., on, in, over) – His new favorite joke is talking about all the places he is not going to put his poop. No poop in tub! No poop on baby! No poop on dog! No poop under couch! Ahahahahaha!
• Speaks clearly most of the time (75 percent can be understood) – I don’t think the PERCENTAGE is getting any better, but he’s using a lot more words. Other people can understand him about 50% of the time, but it’s more like 90% for me.
• Stacks eight blocks – FOURTEEN BLOCKS. BOOM.

Evan & friends built (and knocked down) this tower over and over for 10 minutes.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Is toilet trained during the day – Still yes. Next step is to get him to stay dry during naps.
• Wiggles thumb – Yes, but he’s about as good at giving a thumbs up as my cat is.
• Expresses a wide range of emotions – SO MANY EMOTIONS
• Draws a stick figure – Still no, but he’s started declaring his scribbles are things. Mostly dinosaurs.

A summary of Caroline at 13 months…

What she ate: Mini-waffles, grapes (red and green), Pirate’s Booty, grilled cheese, Goldfish, blueberries, carrots, pretzels, yogurt melts, string cheese, lollipop, watered down juice, boob, and a clementine although she really just sucked the juice out and left gross slimy sections all over the floor.

What she wore: Size 4 diaper, size 4 Mary Janes, white socks, 12 month leggings and dress she ruined by crushing blueberries with her butt, 12-18 month jeggings, shirt and sweater I bought at Old Navy to replace ruined leggings and dress. Adorable smile.

What she did: Went to Stroller Strides, ate from a snack trap, played in the play area, climbed up the stairs and down the slide by herself, made new friends, went to a playdate, stood on a chair, fell on her face several times, learned to climb into a chair correctly, clapped, said “all done” when I asked if she was all done nursing, made me laugh, ran away, gave kisses, tried to eat a lot of inappropriate  items, played peek a boo, watched Toy Story, took a nap in my lap, cried a little bit, hugged her daddy, went to sleep without an argument.

Likes include running, climbing, smiling, clapping, laughing, taking off her shoes, blueberries, her brother, friends, being upside down, tunnels, slides, making important calls on her (my) cell phone, tea parties, trying to kill herself.

Disliked include falling on her head, when people try to help her after she falls on her head, being told not to fall on her head, eating clementines the right way.

I’m out of monthly stickers and Caroline refuses to hold still or pose for pictures so these are…blurry. That’s a nice word.

She takes her sandwiches very seriously

She is SO blogging this playdate

Wassup Red?

Finally sitting in the chair without giving anyone a heart attack

TINY JEGGINGS

Lap nap after a busy day

Dinner of champions

13 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Uses two words skillfully (e.g., “hi” and “bye”) – She can say mama, daddy, kitty, doggie, hi, all done, and sit
Bends over and picks up an object – Yes, especially if it’s food

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Enjoys gazing at his reflection – She will kiss the baby in the mirror but she loses interest pretty quickly. There are lots of things that need kissing.
Holds out arm or leg to help you dress him – She CAN, although she thinks pulling a shirt over her head is some sort of baby torture. But she can take her clothes off like a…nope, can’t bring myself to make any analogy here.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Combines words and gestures to make needs known – Does weeping and yanking on my pants while I’m trying to eat my lunch without sharing count? How about weeping and yanking on my pants while I read to her brother? Or weeping and yanking on my pants because it’s only 71 degrees in the play room and she prefers it at 73? SHE HAS A LOT OF NEEDS.
Rolls a ball back and forth – Y……es? I feel like Evan was super into balls at this age but Caroline is too busy climbing on stuff and pushing cars around. I’ll see if she wants to play tomorrow.

Yesterday I found an old iPod in a drawer and gave it to the baby, hoping it would keep her from trying to snatch my iPhone out of my hand every time she saw it. Caroline wasn’t fooled in the slightest – she knows a useless lump of electronics when she seems one – but Little Evan had enough imagination to see it as his very own iPhone and spent the rest of the afternoon walking around with it pressed to his ear saying “Hello? Oh hi! Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, oh ahh-some! Ok bye!”

He thinks tons of things are “ahh-some” (awesome) these days. Trucks. Trains. Dinosaurs. Stroller Strides. Sitting on the couch.  Apples. Bread. Blueberries. Celery. Yep, my picky little eater was actually BEGGING me for more of my celery and spinach hummus snack yesterday afternoon. I have no idea what is causing this new and improved diet but I am definitely on board.

Honestly, he’s being pretty ahh-some himself these days. When he does something wrong I can give him A Look and he apologizes without argument. He plays nicely with his sister (MOST of the time). He doesn’t run away from me in stores so he can walk if he doesn’t feel like riding in the cart. He understand how bribery works, so getting him to do stuff he doesn’t want to do is as easy as promising a lollipop. He even lets me put eye drops in his eyes and squirt saline up his nose without a fight (poor baby has been battling a cold). I have very little to complain about – besides his sudden ability to escape his room and wander around waking up the baby and smearing lipstick on his face – and I’m totally in love with 33 months.

Favorite things include Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, pirates, making forts, playgrounds, the mall, Target, animals, apples, dancing, basketball, milk, cuddling, Finding Nemo, Toy Story, play dinosaurs, DanActive yogurt shake things, his sister, Daddy, Mommy, trains, his friends, talking my ear off, and The Price is Right.

Dislikes include getting his hair cut, booboos, being told to go back to bed when he wants to wander around, being woken up when he wants to sleep, and being forced to watch mommy’s boring shows.

His ankles are always showing because all his pants are too short

He calls his headphones "mikeyphones"

Crazy new big boy haircut

Bribes

Unedited

SCORE!

Basketball scholarship?

32 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Names one color – He knows white and orange and purple consistently, but he has trouble with red and blue and green getting mixed up. I’m going to ask the doctor if there’s any way to test for color blindness at his 3 year check-up, but honestly I just think he forgets.
• Names one friend – Names a zillion friends…although they all seem to be girls.
• Carries on a simple conversation – Yes, punctuated by the words “Oh, ahh-some!”

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Alternates feet going up and down stairs – Yes, although doing it DOWN the stairs still makes me nervous
• Uses prepositions (e.g., on, in, over) – Yes, although he’s been doing that for a long time so I’m not sure I’m interpreting this correctly. He says stuff like “Baby on the chair?” or “Evan sit in stroller?”
• Speaks clearly most of the time (75 percent can be understood) – I can understand him 90% of the time. Other moms can understand him 75% of the time. Strangers can understand him about 40% of the time.
• Stacks eight blocks – SHOVE YOUR STUPID BLOCKS UP YOUR BUTT, BABYCENTER.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Is toilet trained during the day – Yes! In fact he’s been doing so well I’ve gotten lazy and he’s had a couple accidents because I didn’t respond with urgency. But those are totally MY fault, he’s really really good at holding it.
• Wiggles thumb – I…have no idea? I’ll ask him to do it later and get back to you.
• Expresses a wide range of emotions – He is a virtual glass box of emotions.
• Draws a stick figure – Whoa, really? No, we’re still on squiggles but he’s started identifying them as people or things

I’m not upset about my teeny tiny baby girl turning one. I understand it had to happen eventually. And really, she is still so TEENY TINY I can pretend she’s a baby when we rock in the glider or when I creep into her room to take pictures of her while she sleeps. (Creeeeeeeeepy!)  But mostly I’m ok with her being one because she is super duper awesome and cool. She is way cooler at 12 months old than I have ever been in my life. I mean, she can TOTALLY wear knit leggings.

Caroline still loves food – all food, any food, all day – but especially chicken nuggets and cheese. She learned how to use a sippy cup (today!) but is having some trouble with not letting all the milk/water fall out of her face. I’m going to have to find something REALLY delicious to convince her it’s worth swallowing. Maybe she’d like some hot cocoa and schnapps.

As much as she eats, she has definitely cut back on her nursing schedule, although she refuses to drop the midnight feeding. I KNOW she doesn’t need it – sometimes she goes from midnight until noon the next day without nursing – but she wakes up every single night and is so much easier just to pop a boob in her mouth than to argue. In case you didn’t know, arguing with toddlers almost never works. We are leaving her with my parents (more on THAT later) in March, so my goal is to have her sleeping through the night by then, if only because I don’t want them to refuse to babysit ever again. I’m also debating weaning her before then, or at least mostly weaning her, so I don’t have to do much pumping while I’m gone. (I have SUCH. MIXED. FEELINGS. I think I need a whole separate post for them.) But for now, she’s still a nursing champ.

But besides the waking up, she is an awesome sleeper. If she doesn’t fall asleep when we rock I can leave her in the crib with a book or a toy and she’ll play herself to sleep. Oh my God, do you hate me SO MUCH right now? Seriously, she is at an insanely easy age, so even when she’s having a clingy day she is still a darling child. Today at Target a woman literally couldn’t stop herself from trying to hug her, although when I looked alarmed she was like “Oh no! That was inappropriate! I’m so sorry, she’s just so gorgeous and she’s SMILING at me!”

It’s true. It’s impossible not to love her when she smiles at you. I love her so much I forgave her for breaking my iPhone.

Favorite things include: iPhones, the dog, the cats, her brother, putting trash in her mouth, cheese, cookies, spaghetti with meat sauce, boobs, her fancy patent leather shoes, blankies, forts, sleeping, bath time, dinosaurs, biting things, giving huge slobbery open mouth kisses and throwing herself head first off the couch.

Least favorite things are falling on her face, diaper changes, the vacuum cleaner, watching me leave the house, being buckled in the shopping cart and when I fish the trash out of her mouth so she doesn’t choke to death. Such a TERRIBLE MOTHER.

I don't like this sticker, Mom.

No, seriously, get it off me or I will CUT YOU.

Ha ha, just kidding. *BABY GANG SIGNS*

C'mon, do you want YOUR age in giant numbers on your chest?

Ok, FINE, if you won't help I'll do it myself.

Here you go! I fixed it!

Showing off the baby gun show

OH FOR THE LOVE. Now the tutu AND the sticker?

Dude, do YOU know what's wrong with this woman? --- Just smile and nod, kid, smile and nod and plot our takeover.

12 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Imitates others’ activities – Her new favorite game is taking very important phone calls on my iPhone. I’m expecting a year’s supply of cheese to show up on my doorstep any minute.
Indicates wants with gestures – Gestures, screeching pterodactyl noises, same difference.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Takes a few steps – Runs, climbs, roundhouse kick’s me in the face.
Says one word besides “mama” or “daddy” – She can say “mama”, “daddy”, “kitty”, “hi”, and things that sound like “I got it” and “all done!” but I wouldn’t swear those last two weren’t my imagination. She also puts words together and says “Hi daddy!!” in the absolute cutest way ever.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Walks alone – See above
Scribbles with a crayon – She still put too much stuff her in mouth to let her have crayons…unless I want rainbow-colored poop in the morning.
Says two words besides “mama” or “dada” – See above. I sort of think I’m imagining ALL the talking, but since BabyCenter assures me it IS possible she’s talking I like to believe I just have a super genius baby.