This might be one of the braggiest braggy monthday updates ever. Just warning you. I don’t feel bad or anything.

Caroline is 19 months and she can name pictures in books (kitty, mommy, milk, cow) which is listed as an Advanced Skill for 21 month olds. She already sleeps in a big girl bed, which is an Advanced Skill for 22 month olds. She can walk down stairs – an Emerging Skill at 24 months – by herself if it’s only 3 or 4 stairs or with a handrail, if she’s tall enough to reach it (mostly, she’s not, so she holds my hand). She can jump with both feet off the ground, which isn’t even ON this chart – it’s listed on the 25-30 months chart. And if yelling “JUMP!” as she throws herself off the couch and “WALK!” when I’m carrying her and she wants to get down (“DOWN!”) counts, she can “Name two actions (e.g., skipping, jumping)”, a skill not listed until 36 months.

She’s really freaking smart, is what I’m saying. And it’s not all good. Her new favorite word is “no”, which she says even when she means yes. I started counting with her (“Caroline! Stop running away from me. I’m going to count to three!”) and instead of listening she yells “THREE!” and runs faster. I’m just lucky she’s still too short to reach the doorknobs so I can trap contain keep her in her room for naps. Toddlers are like velociraptors – they’re only REALLY dangerous once they can open doors.

I forgot to bring her record book to her 18 month appointment so I don’t remember the exact numbers, but she was about 21 pounds which still puts her in the 25th percentile. She fell to the 15th percentile in height, but instead of freaking out the way the doctor did when Evan dropped to a lower curve, the doc just said “Meh, put peanut butter on her apples.” Which is good, since “AP-PULL!” is her new favorite food (again). She also loves every other kind of fruit, carrots, peas picked from our garden, anything she can dip in hummus and Wheat Thins. She pretty much loves food in general, which makes me a happy mama – no fighting to get calories into her and worrying the doctor is going to order more weight checks.

Her favorite place is the aquarium (although the zoo is a close second) where she presses her entire body up against the glass and screams “FIIIIIIIIIIIIISH! FISH! FISH!” She will sit through the entire sea lion show and is happy to touch the sharks and stingrays and crabs in the touch tanks. I cannot even tell you how much I love that she loves the aquarium. It feels like I somehow passes a piece of my heart and brain to her as well as my genetic code.

Other likes include dogs, kitties, books, turtles, climbing, slides, water of all kinds, nudity, juice, cheese, apples, talking, shouting, screeching, running, stairs, the potty, beds, fruit snacks, fist bumps, boats, fire trucks, her dolly, dancing, music, babies and hugs.

Dislikes include falling down, being hungry, letting me look in her mouth, missing out on fun things, when her brother puts a pillow over her face and sits on it.

Baby pool? I don’t need no stinkin’ baby pool.

Oh hai, is this a problem?

NOW is it a problem?

Man I love testing limits! So fun!

I’m too cute for you to stay mad.

LACE. ROMPER.

She’s thinking about jumping

Accessorizing!

Heartbreaker

Posing for her Senior Portrait

The many faces of Caroline

19 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Uses a spoon and fork – Prefers forks, but can use both.
Runs – SO FAST.
Throws a ball underhand – She got E RIGHT in the face with a ball the other day. I laughed because I’m a bad person, but I should probably be signing her up for softball.
Enjoys helping around the house – You guys, I think she does more chores than I do. She loves helping and I am not adverse to letting her.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Understands as many as 200 words – Understands ALL THE WORDS. She even understands sarcasm. Obviously she’s my daughter. She also SAYS at least 75 words – her newest skill is words with more than one syllable.
Recognizes when something is wrong (e.g., calling a dog a cat) – I’m sure she WOULD but that seems like kind of a mean game.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Washes and dries own hands with help – Washes hands all freaking day if I’d let her,
Points to picture or object when you call it by name – We just played a game of this in while hanging out in front of the open fridge. She got: yogurt, milk, juice, cheese, grapes and beer.
May know when she needs to pee – Can pee and poop in the potty but also just thinks using the bathroom is REALLY COOL so she wants to do it all the time. I’m not going to work on actual potty training for a couple more months, unless she does it entirely on her own.

Even though I have been telling people my kids are “three and one” for weeks now I don’t actually BELIEVE it. Three?! How can Evan be three?! Three so many years! Three is huge! Three is preschool and backpacks. Three is inside jokes and friends and opinions and ideas and favorites and independence. Three is clothes in size ginormous and shoes with huge rubber soles. Three is sitting in a chair at the dinner table. Three is repeating everything that comes out of my mouth.

Three is a kid who INSISTS he is too big for naps but falls asleep on the couch at 3 pm clutching his favorite blankie.

If you asked me RIGHT AT THIS SECOND how I like this age, I’d be very enthusiastic. It’s so great! He’s like a real human! He is kind and helpful and polite and is capable of understanding what I say and following directions. He was good for the babysitter. He’s super excited to see his grandparents next week. He is the best big brother ever. If he’s bored and whiny it’s easy to distract him with a game on my iPhone (BabyCenter needs to add “can unlock and correctly use a smart phone” to their list of milestones because it is HUGE) and I can finish Stroller Strides or shopping or whatever. It’s nice to have a kid I actually LIKE as well as love. Because other days – the ones where he hits me in the head with his sippy and throws himself on the floor at the mall and screams at me and I have to drag him out kicking and screaming – I still want to sell him to the circus. He is a wild beast who refuses to use his words or tell me what’s wrong or calm down. He will cry until he’s out of tears and then fake-cry until he can’t breathe. Oi, the fake crying is the WORST.

But really, there are more good days than bad and even the bad days are more like bad HOURS instead of days. He might stall at bedtime for a few minutes but he sleep all night. He isn’t the most adventurous eater but I’m not worried he’s going to starve to death. He likes to play trains with me but can also play by himself while I fold laundry or clean the kitchen. He still agrees to cuddles and kisses and tells me I’m pretty – even if his favorite game is telling me to make a sad face and then laughing at me. Three year olds are like walking, talking contradictions and life is never, ever boring.

Likes include his blankie, milk, cereal, bagels, cream cheese, running, slides, the mall, Target, friends, the dog, the cat, the iPad, bubbles, watching TV, trains, dinosaurs, snow, lollipops, Daddy, reading books, baby sister, and being carried when he is tired.

Dislikes include being woken up, watching “Mommy’s shows”, sharing, sticky hands, wiping his own butt, and being carried when he is NOT tired.

Having my picture taken is LAME.

Not even in a booster seat!

Plotting things

Obsessed with cereal

On the look out for cereal thieves

35 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Describes how two objects are used – Yes, he can talk about trains and Legos all day.
• Uses three to four words in a sentence – His sentences have gotten SO much longer and more complicated (but also way more understandable) in the past week or two. Almost every day E and I look at each other in amazement and how much Evan understands and repeats.
• Names two actions (e.g., skipping, jumping) – Yes, but his favorite is “Be quite guys, I’m SLEEPING” when he is pretending to sleep.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Hops and skips – He can hop hop hop but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him skip (or asked him to skip)
• Follows a two- or three-part command – Yes, and I am ABUSING THE CRAP out of this milestone when I need something thrown in the hamper or the trash or when Caroline needs something. He’s a great helper.
• Separates fairly easily from parents – I would have said no until last Saturday, but the morning after the babysitter put him to bed he woke up asking for her and told me to go away. So YEAH WHO NEEDS PARENTS?
• Rides a tricycle – He hasn’t tried since last summer, but I’m betting he’s going to be a cycling machine once the weather warms up.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Balances on each foot for three seconds – I just asked him if he could do this and he picked up his foot and looked at me like I was a crazy person. DUH MOM, THIS IS FOR BABIES.
• Gets dressed without help. – He can take OFF his clothes, especially his pants and underwear when he goes potty by himself (by himself!!!!!) but he has a little trouble getting them back on.

Hello, I like to speak to whoever is in charge of turning my little baby boy into this GIANT PERSON. I am dissatisfied with the speed at which it is happening and would like it to slow down immediately. Thank you.

There’s nothing like bringing home a new baby to make your old baby seem, well, old. Although some of it isn’t just in my head – I ask Little Evan to help out a lot more than I used to and so he’s learning responsibility pretty fast. I know “go throw this diaper away” or “bring mommy her iPhone” isn’t rocket science but it’s still cool to see him understand and follow through. Most of the time. Sometimes he gets weirdly possessive of the dirty diapers and cries when we throw them away. And sometimes he throws them at my face. Oh, toddlers.

In “things I really dislike” news, we’ve officially reached a point where I can’t help comparing my kid to other kids and worry about his development. Why doesn’t he talk more? Should he be saying more words? Why doesn’t he know his letters or numbers? Which of course leads to mountains of Mommy Guilt – although some of it might be just a little bit deserved. If I haven’t really been teaching him letters and numbers how is he supposed to learn them? I’ve been so focused on words (and words that actually SOUND like the words they’re meant to be) I totally skipped the alphabet. I guess I thought we had some time before I needed to start on that sort of learning, but based on my Twitter/internet friends we’re now way behind. And although I love his babbling gibberish I’m starting to feel like people are judging me in public because he doesn’t speak more clearly or say more words. One of my goals this month is to write down a list of all the words he DOES say so at his 24 month check-up I can ask the doctor if he thinks we should look into speech therapy.

Luckily the BabyCenter milestones for this month don’t include language skills so I can try to stop worrying for a little while longer. Oh! Although I have news on the block-stacking front! The other day I caught him making HUGE towers of blocks upstairs in the playroom, so I guess I no longer have to be bitter that he missed all those previous block-stacking milestones. TAKE THAT BABYCENTER.

22 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Kicks ball forward – He’s a soccer player in the making.
• Follows two-step requests (e.g., “Get your doll and bring it here”) – Yes! He could probably follow a three or four step request. Understanding language is not our problem.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Does simple puzzles – Does this mean the wood cut-out ones? Because we’re working on those and he’s getting there but he loses interest pretty fast.
• Draws a straight line – Maybe accidentally. He likes coloring in theory a lot more than coloring in practice.
• Names several body parts – Yes. Especially my boobs.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Puts on loose-fitting clothes – Sometimes, although he has a problem understanding pants and shirts are not the same. Also that pants are not hats.
• Might be ready for a big bed – I’m planning to make the switch for his 2nd birthday. The problem is it involves a lot more than just switching the crib for a bed because the room isn’t very childproof and if he got up to play he could ruin a LOT of stuff before I noticed. But I’m hopeful that the actual transition to the bed will go well.
• Understands opposites (e.g., tall vs. short) – I don’t know? He understand enough differences that I can ask him to bring me one of two similar things and he gets the right one but I’m not sure we encounter a lot of opposites.

This morning in a desperate attempt to calm a temper tantrum I let him try out the piano for the first time and he loved it. He clearly heard the differences in the notes and loved sliding down to press the lowest ones and then reaching up to the highest ones. He also taught himself that pressing one key at a time made a different noise than smashing down a whole bunch. I’m not saying he’s an OMG MUSICAL GENIUS or anything, but it’s nice that he enjoys it.

Hmmm...time to write my materpiece!

Definitely need some of these notes up here

Brilliance has struck!

Stop bothering me while I'm composing!!

Now for the BIG FINISH

That's it! I shall touch it no more. My work is perfect.