All pics done by my BFF Erin of Open Shutter Photography

Funny, I don’t feel any more ancient than I did yesterday even though I’m officially now at an age kids, teenagers and college students alike would all agree might as well be a bazillion. Hey kids, let me tell you about the time I walked to school barefoot in the snow uphill both ways! While fighting off dinosaurs! With a stick! Now get off my lawn!

My big plans for the day include Stroller Strides, Target, writing a blog post and not cooking dinner – so, basically, a regular Tuesday. But no one’s allowed to complain I didn’t make dinner, so that will be special.

I have a bad habit of starting in on the “It’s for my birthday!” excuse way too early so I don’t actually get anything special ON my birthday. Like that ring E bought me on vacation or the day-trip to the lighthouse we bought at the charity auction or the laser hair removal I bought myself (and am obscenely excited about). “It can be my 30th birthday present!” sounded SO GOOD at the time but now I won’t be getting any real presents and I’m a little sad. Because even though I’m a bazillion I still act like a spoiled 10 year old on my birthday. I guess my real gift is that E has put up with me for the last 10 years.

I was trying to find pictures of my last “big” birthday – my 21st – because it was the first one E and I celebrated as a couple. He rented a limo and took my best friend (the same best friend who was just here for Little Evan’s birthday!) and I out to dinner and to a club where we drank too much and danced and I fell down the stairs and injured myself pretty badly. It was everything a 21st birthday should be (I still can’t drink vanilla vodka)…but I have no pictures. It wasn’t the healthiest or most stable time in my life and I threw out most of the photos because I hated looking at them. I was so very hard on myself at that age. I wish I could go back and give that poor sad, hungry girl a hug and say “It’s ok! You’re beautiful! You’re allowed to be happy!” But that’s the problem with hindsight – I know my 21 year old self wouldn’t have listened. I needed practically every day of my 20’s to learn to give myself a break.

But I did learn and thank GOD because perfection in motherhood is impossible and the me that could stare at the pores on my nose for an hour could NOT handle kids. And I couldn’t even imagine my life now without them. I hate this kind of statement enormous amounts coming out of almost anyone else’s mouth but truly, I am so so blessed.

I was going to make a list of stuff I’ve done in the last 30 years and stuff I want to do in the next 30, but all I really want to do is hang out with the two little humans I grew inside my body and watch them grow up. Any maybe have some wine.

Happy birthday to me!

I know I promised birthday pictures but for the first time ever I managed to actually enjoy a party without a camera glued to my face, so I have to wait until my super awesome BFF sends me the ones she took. I mean, I paid her absolutely nothing and ignored her the whole day and made her help prep all the food and didn’t let her drive home with her toddler until the middle of the night but GEEZE, how come she hasn’t uploaded the 1,000 pictures she took in the 12 hours she’s been home? Obviously I need a new best friend. Or maybe she needs a new best friend.

So until I can get all the dinosaurific details together, I thought I’d put up a quick post. Something light. Something fluffy. Like how I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I enjoy having 2 toddlers and no babies and maybe babies are kind of a lot of work and wouldn’t it be nice if I didn’t have to go through the tiny helpless infant stage anymore so maybe I don’t want any more babies?

Even saying that to myself seems kind of insane – I’ve ALWAYS wanted more than 2 kids. When I was little I imagined having a huge family. E and I have always planned to have at least 3, maybe 4, maybe more if we talking about it after a few glasses of wine. We already have names picked out – not a list, mind you, but actual names that are set for future kids.

But having 2 toddlers is fantastic. I am in love with these two kids at these two ages, both as individuals and as siblings. They love each other a heart-breaking amount. And they play together! Independent of me! I can get stuff done even when they are both awake! They eat food and sleep through the night (mostly) and can communicate their needs and help me with toddler-appropriate chores and sit still when I read them books. I like all those things. They’re getting to an age where we could go on a vacation as a family and it would actually feel like a vacation instead of a series of disasters interspersed with forced fun. And as cliché as it sounds, having a boy and a girl somehow feels kind of…complete. It’s a matched set! (So so so kidding.)

Luckily, I’m allowed to feel like this for a little while before I have to decide if I REALLY feel like this or if I’m just drunk with sleep and freedom. When I think about what not having any more kids means – never being pregnant again, never nursing again, never having all those baby firsts again – I’m definitely not ready to be done. But maybe I’m done for now. The problem is defining “for now” – 6 months? 12 months? Until Caroline goes to preschool? Until Little Evan is old enough to babysit? That’s a big range of “for now”. Which is OK! I have time to think Deep Thoughts about babies and toddlers and family size and what my life would be like with 2 kids or 3 kids or 10 kids. It’s just been on my mind a lot lately because I’m coming up on one of those big life events where you waste a bunch of energy thinking about all the stuff you haven’t done yet in life and realize you never will be a ballerina or a professional furniture restorer or a chef or a supermodel or a writer for SNL or best friends with Britney Spears and maybe that’s making me a little sad.

Yep, tomorrow I turn 30.

Thirty-six months. 1,096 days. 13,149 hours. 3,124 diapers. 104 gallons of milk. 12 states. Hundreds of tiny plastic toys lost under the couch. Thousands of tantrums. Millions of hugs and kisses. Today, Evan is 3 years old.

This age, it is awesome. And horrible. Totally horrible. But also so so awesome. Instead of feeling like I’m constantly catering to a helpless baby’s needs, I feel like I have a little friend who hangs out with me all day. He’s cooler than I am, and funnier, and cuter, and has more friends, but he still likes me best and that’s pretty neat. He gives me hugs in public and wants kisses when he has a booboo and wants to be carried sometimes and I’m going to encourage that behavior for as long as possible. Because when he’s not being adorable and cuddly he’s screaming his head off, punching me in the face and refusing to eat a single bite of his dinner. What is WITH the not eating?! He never holds still, how can he not be starving?

Evan is super friendly and will talk to anyone who talks to him. He tells the old ladies in the grocery store about how Captain Hook tried to take Pirate Mommy’s treasure and Pirate Evan came to the rescue! And he says it just like that: “To the RESCUE!” with his hands on his hips like Superman. His trains have crazy adventures with plots more complicated and twisty than a Christopher Nolan movie. How someone who’s only been alive for 36 months has so much imagination is beyond me, but I will do everything in my power to make sure he keeps on using it forever.

Because he LIKES being the center of attention, when he’s not the center of attention he gets a little…loud. Like hey guys, looks at me check this out GUYS I’m SERIOUS look at what I AM DOING RIGHT NOW MOMMY LOOK LOOK LOOK MOMMY LOOK AT MEEEEEEE. I mean, I suppose that isn’t SURPRISING, since on daily basis I spend 13 hours a day with him and only 2 with E, but sometimes I don’t WANT to talk about his boogers. Evan’s boogers, I mean. E normally keeps his boogers to himself.

Speaking of, uh, speaking, Evan says about a zillion adorable things on a daily basis. We’ve started having family dinner at the table every night and he tells us all about his day. He calls Caroline “Baby Sister” and says “Baby Sister gives the best hugs!” and “C’mon Baby Sister!” when he takes her hand and they run around the house together. He tells the dog he’s a “Good boy, Brutus Brutus.” When E gets home Evan says “Daddy, missed you ALL DAY.” He’s been talking non-stop about his birthday party when he’ll see “all my friends”. As much as I’m looking forward to the party on Saturday, I’m also looking forward to Sunday, when I’m sure Evan will have TONS to tell me about how much fun he had. It makes all the work so worth it.

Honestly, no matter how many tantrums and how much attitude he pulls he is such a good kid. I’m not even going to pretend I’m super sad about him not being a baby anymore because you know what is better than a baby? A kid who craps in the toilet.

Evan’s likes include running, kicking things, his tricycle, gymnastics (finally!), Baby Sister, dogs, kitty, helping me around the house, friends, Daddy, bathtime, sleeping, milk, coloring, talking, singing, chocolate, strawberries, dinosaurs, cheeseburgers, lemonade, books, pirates, The Disney Channel, his cousins, counting, pillows, and elevators.

Dislikes include being tired, band-aids, falling down, being ignored, spiders, and being forced to pose for pictures.

And now for some totally unbelievable photos from Evan’s last 3 birthdays:

Birth Day

Tiny puke machine

12 months

OMG

24 months

36 months

You're in my way, Mom.

Most serious face ever

Attitude to the max

I'm sorry, when did he turn FIFTEEN?

Best siblings ever

Blurry, laughing picture is perfectly accurate

35 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Describes how two objects are used – He knows the iPhone is for Angry Birds and the TV is for Disney, so we’re good right?
• Uses three to four words in a sentence – On Wednesday, he woke me up by saying “Mommy, I got poop in my butt!” So that’s seven words.
• Names two actions (e.g., skipping, jumping) – He often demands that I RUN FASTER at Stroller Strides or that I do HIGH KNEES when we’re shopping. He’s a tiny personal trainer.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Hops and skips – Someone last month said I should ask him to skip for the lulz…and they were right.
• Follows a two- or three-part command – He can get himself to the bathroom, take off his pants, flush and wash his hands all by himself. It’s the BEST SKILL ever to emerge.
• Separates fairly easily from parents – Yes, he likes us OK but realizes other people still fall for his “I’m so cute give me a cookie” routine. The real test will be preschool, which I was super excited about but now I’m dragging my feet.
• Rides a tricycle – Yes, on flat ground. And now he has an awesome bike helmet thanks to his Mormor.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Balances on each foot for three seconds – Yes. The kid can walk the beam at gymnastics too.
• Gets dressed without help – He got caught in his shirt trying to pull it over his head (of course I immediately rushed to help him without laughing even a tiny bit) and it was kind of traumatic so now he won’t take off his own shirt. But he CAN dress/undress himself.

Happy Birthday my wonderful, special boy!

We had a BEAUTIFUL week of gorgeous weather and fun…right up until Friday. When I woke up at 5 am to snow – SNOW! – everywhere, I declared I was taking a day off from life. We stayed home. I wore my jammies all day. We had popcorn for dinner. It was lovely. I predict today will be very similar.

Sunday:

How adorable is this cupcake buffet at the tea party birthday we attended?

Sunshine

E secretly loves tea. Don't tell him I told you.

Obviously a tea party calls for pearls

Monday:

Monday was a holiday, so I worked twice as hard as I usually do organizing this room.

Multi-tasking!

I added fun colors to the tub! Evan disapproved.

Tuesday:

GOOD MORNING WORLD.

The girl loves hats

He thinks this is the best trick EVER

Wednesday:

Apparently those aren't camo pants, they're grumpy pants

If you look veeeery carefully, you can see one sad toddler in time-out during gymnastics

25 favor boxes for Evan's 3rd birthday, DONE.

Thursday:

My children refuse to wear clothes correctly.

No Mommy! No go inside! Stay outside!

Dear God, someday she will drive an ACTUAL car ::heart attack::

Friday:

NO.

He's obsessed with these shoes. He can actually walk in them better than I can.

Headband obsessed - obviously she's mine

Saturday:

See mommy, giraffes don't wear shirts so I shouldn't either!

Oh, what you got there? Trains? I like trains!

IKEA trains FTW! We trippled our track for less than $25.

Today I am working on an epic blog post – epic in my head, obviously, just long and rambling in real life – and finishing all the laundry. Why did I make Sunday laundry day?! It always ruins my sleeping-in day knowing I’ve got a mountain of dirty clothes to get through. The good news is 2 weeks from right now I’ll be getting on my CRUISE. If I mention it 300 times between now and then try to forgive me, OK?

Did you take any camera phone photos this week? Link up with one or lots using the linky below and grab the code (so it shows on your blog too!) over at Amy’s . It’s really fun!