Funny, I don’t feel any more ancient than I did yesterday even though I’m officially now at an age kids, teenagers and college students alike would all agree might as well be a bazillion. Hey kids, let me tell you about the time I walked to school barefoot in the snow uphill both ways! While fighting off dinosaurs! With a stick! Now get off my lawn!

My big plans for the day include Stroller Strides, Target, writing a blog post and not cooking dinner – so, basically, a regular Tuesday. But no one’s allowed to complain I didn’t make dinner, so that will be special.

I have a bad habit of starting in on the “It’s for my birthday!” excuse way too early so I don’t actually get anything special ON my birthday. Like that ring E bought me on vacation or the day-trip to the lighthouse we bought at the charity auction or the laser hair removal I bought myself (and am obscenely excited about). “It can be my 30th birthday present!” sounded SO GOOD at the time but now I won’t be getting any real presents and I’m a little sad. Because even though I’m a bazillion I still act like a spoiled 10 year old on my birthday. I guess my real gift is that E has put up with me for the last 10 years.

I was trying to find pictures of my last “big” birthday – my 21st – because it was the first one E and I celebrated as a couple. He rented a limo and took my best friend (the same best friend who was just here for Little Evan’s birthday!) and I out to dinner and to a club where we drank too much and danced and I fell down the stairs and injured myself pretty badly. It was everything a 21st birthday should be (I still can’t drink vanilla vodka)…but I have no pictures. It wasn’t the healthiest or most stable time in my life and I threw out most of the photos because I hated looking at them. I was so very hard on myself at that age. I wish I could go back and give that poor sad, hungry girl a hug and say “It’s ok! You’re beautiful! You’re allowed to be happy!” But that’s the problem with hindsight – I know my 21 year old self wouldn’t have listened. I needed practically every day of my 20’s to learn to give myself a break.

But I did learn and thank GOD because perfection in motherhood is impossible and the me that could stare at the pores on my nose for an hour could NOT handle kids. And I couldn’t even imagine my life now without them. I hate this kind of statement enormous amounts coming out of almost anyone else’s mouth but truly, I am so so blessed.

I was going to make a list of stuff I’ve done in the last 30 years and stuff I want to do in the next 30, but all I really want to do is hang out with the two little humans I grew inside my body and watch them grow up. Any maybe have some wine.

Happy birthday to me!

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25 Responses to “30”

  1. raincheckmom says:

    Happy, Happy birthday Suzanne! You deserve a great one! We love you!

    (Great pictures, girl!)

  2. Krista says:

    Happy birthday, pretty lady!

  3. Emily says:

    Happy birthday! Everyone makes 30 to be a big scary thing, but it’s the first year I’ve actually felt totally comfortable in my skin… sounds like you feel the same way. I think it’s the recognition that we are getting older, and just relenting and enjoying the ride from there. Your kids are a pretty good present… they are SO cute! Hope you have fun today!

  4. Shari says:

    Happy Birthday!! :)

  5. Robyn says:

    Happy Birthday Suzanne!

    I don’t feel old (I’m 31) and I feel way more comfortable with myself now than I ever did when I was in my 20s and much thinner and less wrinkled. Maybe it’s the having kids thing…little stuff doesn’t seem as important anymore. Maybe it’s just that time has passed and I can see how silly I was to worry about all that little stuff. But whatever it is…it’s great to feel better in your own skin and still be young enough to enjoy it. I’m so glad you feel it too!

  6. TMae says:

    Happy Birthday! I loved entering my 30s. It felt like I finally had the freedom to just….be. <3 you.

  7. MomEinstein says:

    Happy 30th Birthday!! I hope you have a fabulous day with the people you grew in your body and their Daddy.

  8. Jennie says:

    I think that’s a pretty good goal for the next 30 years. Cue the Tim McGraw theme song…

  9. Sarah says:

    Love this post! And yes, sheesh – if I could back and love on my 20 year old self, I would! Man! I hope that you have a lovely day and you enjoy not cooking (what are you not coking?). :) Happy Birthday!

  10. barbra says:

    Happy Happy Birthday to you!!! This was a great post. While I am definitely not without issues, I can say that I am far more confident now than I was even just three years ago. I think it’s part 30s, part having a baby.
    You, Suzanne, are a beautiful woman, inside and out. Your words have helped me, encouraged me so many times. You deserve a wonderful day dedicated to you. I hope your birthday is a great one.

  11. Jennifer says:

    Just found your blog from a comment you left on Molly’s blog. Happy Birthday! Excited to follow your blog and read about your story. Hope you have a wonderful day ~ the pictures of you and your kiddos are adorable!

  12. Suz says:

    Happy birthday! You’re making 30 look fabulous!

  13. Amanda says:

    Happy Birthday! Hope you have a wonderful day!

  14. Erin says:

    Happy Birthday!!!!!! I remember your 21st!!!! There was a tiara….and my gift to you today will be saying nothing else :) I’m just kidding. But you get more wonderful every year!!!! And I thought you were wonderful then too, so that’s really saying something :)

  15. Animom says:

    Happy Birthday!! Love this post. Hope you have a wonderful day!

  16. molly says:

    Happy HAPPY birthday to you, my friend!!! Enjoy those babies :)

  17. Katie says:

    HapPy Birthday Suzanne. I remember the cutest 5 year old Suzanne and you deserve the cutest munchkins. Happy 30th and trust me, 30 is nothing come crying to me when you hit your 40’s. Oh wait, I might be dead by then.
    Love Aunt Katie

  18. michelleJ says:

    Happy Birthday!!!!

  19. Amy says:

    Happy Birthday! Hope you had the very best day and that your 30s are fantastic.

  20. Oh 30 is still a baby! Happy Birthday! 30 is awesome. You’re still young…but not stupid.

  21. Anna says:

    Happy birthday!!! Jeepers, you are still a baby if you are only just turning 30 (I am waaaaaay older than that). 30s are cool. They let you turn from self obsessed to self confident (well, maybe a little self obsessed still).
    Your kids are gorgeous and am loving your plan for the next 30. Enjoy your wine.
    Ps. nothing wrong with starting your birthday present thing early but still insisting someone buys you something on your actual birthday too! what’s the ring like?

  22. I need to stop neglecting my reader (and my sadly un-updated blog) because after WW I went when did S add all these pictures to that post (Deep Rambling Thoughts) and then realized it was a different post (duh.) I love your babies. and your life. You are at such a great 30. This year I turn 27. I will be 27 with two babies (What? How?). I hope I embrace 30 at such a great spot as you are, after chasing the kids off my lawn. I hope your birthday was extra happy. Any night I dont *have* to cook is a great night.

  23. Andrea says:

    Beautiful! I hope you had a wonderful birthday. :)

    All those pre-bday presents sound perfect to me!

  24. tricia says:

    happy belated birthday, Suzanne! and for the record, you truly are blessed in every way. especially when it comes to awesome babies and fantastic choices for your own birthday gifts. i do the same thing, and it always bites me in the ace come my birthday because i, too, am a 5-year old when it comes to celebrating anything relating to my person.

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