Oh Crap, It's a Boy.

Now that I’ve stopped congratulating myself for growing a penis and E has stopped running around yelling “I breed warriors!!!!” the reality of having a boy is setting in. I don’t know anything about boys. They’re loud and dirty and pee on you while you’re trying to change their diapers. It isn’t so much that I don’t get to buy pretty dresses, lace socks and tiny Mary Janes – I’ll have a girl eventually. I’m just completely unfamiliar with small boys. I’ve never been a small boy, I don’t know how their minds work. Luckily my baby has boy cousins to play with. Oh yeah, and a FATHER who was a small boy at one point (and still acts like one on occasion) and should be able to relate.

6 Responses to “Oh Crap, It's a Boy.”

  1. lalaland13 says:

    Got any brothers? Then your mom/dad should be able to assist. And your babydaddy is the most obvious source of help, you’re right. Tell him men who change their baby boy’s diapers are more likely to have manly boy-children (wait, E reads this doesn’t he? Crap).

    I’d be in the same boat as you, honestly. My mom tells me my brother was more loud and fussy and colicky, whereas I was a quiet little angel. Ugh, at first I wrote “angle.” I was not an angle.

  2. sarrible says:

    I have three brothers. You have questions, you ask. Apparently the peeing-on-you-while-changing-the-diaper is totally right, and also, he will want weapons. You give him a doll, he will use it like a gun. This will be fine. Just pretend it’s your freshman year of college again and there are packs of baby sailors hanging around you. Just don’t give Baby III beer.

  3. AGreenEyeDevil says:

    Just look at it as a chance to shape baby’s perspective from the very beginning to respect and treat women in a positive way! I really believe that’s one of the greatest gifts any mother can give her son. If all else fails, call the ever entertaining and delightful Beach Bum…she has 3!

  4. stacyinbean says:

    Clearly you have yet to learn of the ‘PeePee Teepee’. After being peed on multiple times by my little brother, I must recommend these.


  5. Trashtastic says:

    I will be a phone call away. Also, I am shipping two little wild monkey boys your way. Practice, you know. Expect them in 4-6 weeks.

    Also, go ahead and buy an extra fridge now. Trust.

  6. SarahMC says:

    I would just try not to view him as a “boy” (vs. “girl”) but rather an individual who could turn out to think and act in myriad ways that have nothing to do with his penis. Much less pressure for you AND the kid that way.

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