Maybe I should just go ahead and add “poopsplosion” to my spellcheck dictionary

Last night our sweet, cuddly co-sleeping arrangement suffered a severe setback when I reached down to pat the baby and came back with a hand covered in poop. Liquid, yellow poop. Are you enjoying your breakfast? Hopefully it’s not applesauce. Or pureed squash.

I suspect the poopsplosion had something to do with the FOUR times Baby Evan nursed last night, since he also peed so much his diaper stopped absorbing and it soaked into his swaddle. I think my nipple has officially become his nighttime security blanket more than as actual source of nourishment. He doesn’t nurse to sleep at bedtime but when he wakes up at night it’s so much easier to just feed him than to get up and rock and pace and shush and listen to him fuss and for the love of God just take the nipple already!  But when he’s latched on – even when he’s not hungry – he’s getting milk and all that food has to go somewhere. I would prefer if that somewhere didn’t include ON ME. And the sheets. And the mattress. AND ON ME. But whatevs. I doubt that’s the last nighttime poop incident we have in his life. Might as well get used to it.

The sad part of the story is all that pooping didn’t faze Baby Evan at all – he just rolled over onto his stomach so he didn’t have to lie in crap and kept on snoozing. So I had to wake up my peacefully sleeping baby at 6 am to get the poop cleaned off him. And the sheets. And the towel I keep by the bed for emergencies. AND ME. When, really, I could have just let him keep sleeping and dealt with the poopsplosion after the sun came up. I think that’s when you know you’re officially a parent – you actually consider the “lie in poop but get more sleep” option. Yes, dear pregnant readers, this IS what having a baby is really like.

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5 Responses to “Maybe I should just go ahead and add “poopsplosion” to my spellcheck dictionary”

  1. ryan says:

    i will use this post as motivation to buy a co-sleeper bassinet and USE IT. every.single.night. how does one get poop out of a mattress?

  2. Brigid Keely says:

    Fresh poop is easier to clean than dried, crusted, caked on poop.

    Ryan, in theory, if one has a mattress pad under the sheets, poop on top of the sheets does not matter as much. Especially if there is a waterproof cover beneath the mattress pad.

  3. Emmie Bee says:

    This is awesome. I don’t even question the “let baby and me sleep in a pee puddle or clean it up?” anymore. I will sleep in a gallon of pee before I’m willing to get out of my warmmmm bed before 8 AM. Luckily, no poop incidents yet- but give it time!

  4. Erin says:

    that really sucks! But it certainly makes for some good blogging. “this IS what having a baby is really like” – Too awesome for words :) I forgot that I had our little squirt in a cloth diaper when I put him to bed tonight. I certainly paid for that one in laundry. I feel your pain. I was looking at this cloth diaper savings calculator and they even put in for the expense of the detergent but they didn’t factor in the PEE ON EVERYTHING! That’s the real cost of cloth diapers! Glad it wasn’t poop though—or on me, you certainly have my sympathy on that one!

  5. Rachel says:

    Oh, yes, that’s fun. When J was brand new, I couldn’t figure out why he was wiggling and not really nursing but clearly not sleeping at 2 am. After about twenty minutes, he was suddenly happy and went back to nursing like a good baby and promptly fell asleep. A few minutes later I was like, “Why am I all wet?” I looked and realized oh hey, that’s not pee. And instead of changing the sheets at 2 am, I put a receiving blanket on top and just scooted us over (after changing him, of course). I was really too tired to care if I was sleeping in baby poop or not.

    And no, that was not the first time. Luckily, the pooping in the bed thing (and actually, everywhere else, J had a real nack for missing his diaper completely, I should show you pictures some time) doesn’t happen so much now that he’s on solids (ew), but just about every morning his diaper gives up and we have a leaking issue. I have learned to change him IMMEDIATELY when he wakes up in the morning, or end up washing the bedding, me, him, everything in the house. Again.

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