Go Fit Yourself.

I rode my bike to work today. We’ve had horrible storms for two days but this morning was bright and sunny with low humidity and a breeze. Perfect bike riding weather. But now it is over 80 and breathingfeels like inhaling dirty water. Plus I’m frickin hungry and I don’t feel like dodging the idiot drivers who can’t understand that I’m allowed to use their roads.

I really thought once you were in a “delicate condition” you were allowed to pass on physical activity. Isn’t lying on the couch eating ice cream expected of pregnant women? The next 7 1/2 months will be the last time in my entire life I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself. Who would take that away from me?

The taker in question is a magazine, Fit Pregancy. I got a copy from my OB-GYN and made the mistake of reading it. At first I was just fascinated by the ads. No shoes, bags, shampoo, designers or diamonds here. Just cribs, diapers and Desitin. The idea that once a woman was pregnant she would still need anything besides baby gear is foreign to this magazine.

Something that is exactly the same as regular women’s magazines are the models. What kind of freaks are these people? They look like they just shoved a pillow under their clothes and claimed to be knocked up. Even the ones in bikinis or crop tops have perfect glowing bellies, without scars, moles or stretch marks. They’re all happily frolicking in designer clothes and high heels, with their tiny toothpick arms holding $2000 bags or organic flax and wheatgerm smoothies. COME ON. I am growing a person inside me. It’s pretty much the most special, beautiful, magical, feminine thing someone can do. And you want to make me feel bad about how I look while I do it?

They don’t settle for just implying I’m somehow not attractive enough to be pregnant. They also want me to know that if I do give up riding my bike or start skipping the gym in favor of House reruns, I’m going to kill my baby. Ok, probably not kill exactly, but harm definitely. My baby could be preterm and have a low birth weight! I could get gestational diabetes! I could cause my baby to grow extra fat cells, causing it to be obese later in life! They managed to scare me enough to continue the bike riding.  I’m generally a pretty active person (just one who loves food) so I don’t think it’s going to be a real strain for me. I just dislike being bullied into it.

Fit Pregnancy also wants me to know that exercising now will help me get my body back after baby! Because as soon as you give birth you’re just fat.


7 Responses to “Go Fit Yourself.”

  1. Yeah, it doesn’t matter what you do or what kind of mom you are, as long as you’re skinny! *eyeroll*
    Seriously, what’s up with these pregnancy mags? And it’s not just them, the media in general is always talking about stars losing their baby weight, pregnancy workouts, etc. You just created another human being inside your body, I think it’s OK to not be bikini ready immediately after, you know?

  2. bebehblog says:

    I haven’t been bikini ready in four years, I don’t think it’s going to happen any time soon. I’ve just given up caring if my soft, pale stomach offends people. Also, Last night at the gym, a woman in my class said “Oh, too bad you can’t lose any weight now!” Uh, thanks. Can I at least GAIN the weight before you tell me to lose it?

  3. politicalpartygirl says:

    That woman from your gym deserves to be shot. By me. Because we wouldn’t want you to have to give birth in prison.

  4. myrtlebeachbum says:

    Again I say to you: Vicki Iovine’s books. She says boo hiss on pregnancy exercise. I do, too.

    And fork that woman at your gym with a chainsaw. I promise you the weight will fall right off (except for the last 10 pounds or so, but whatever). Really and truly, one of the best things about coming home from the hospital is stepping on the scale every morning to find you’ve lost another 3 pounds. It is amazing and will never happen again.

  5. bebehblog says:

    MBB – Thank you for the suggestion, I just ordered her book. I already read Jenny McCarthy’s Belly Laughs, but found that all her advice was stuff people had already tried to scare me with. Poop! Blood! Vomit!

  6. funnyface says:

    I don’t exercise now. I’m not pregnant. You’re already doing better than I am. Just about the only reason I’d go into a gym would be to punch that asshole lady in the face. Which I’m more than willing to do if you need me to.

  7. Lindsay says:

    Megan Cooper just referred me to your blog. I’m loving it! I’m so with you on being OVER judgy women. I loved the comment in “The Girlfriend’s Guide To Pregnancy” on how working out will have NO effect on labor, seeing how contractions are something completely out of our control. Amen.

    I think I’ve walked just about every day of my pregnancy, but have I set foot in a gym? Nope. Do I feel bad about it? Nope! My soon-to-be born baby and I are perfectly healthy. Every OB visit has been great. All of our test results have been fine.

    And I’ve only gained about 25 pounds. Take that, exercise freaks! ;-)

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