Get Off My Lawn You Crazy Kids

Signs you are no longer cool or hip or happening or whatever those crazy kids are calling it these days and are instead just plain OLD:

1. You drive a minivan.
2.You drive a minivan into a city you used to be terrified of driving in.
3. You think $7 for valet parking is a great deal, especially because it means you don’t have to PARK a minivan in a city you used to be terrified of driving in.
4. You have to eat a First Dinner at 5 pm because Real Dinner isn’t scheduled until 8 pm.
5. You are totally baffled by the fact that people don’t go “out” until after 11:30. What are they doing until then?!
6. You don’t know all the words to Ke$ha’s Tik Tok.
7. You had to look up both the name “Ke$ha” and what that song was called. And had to double check it twice because is there really a dollar sign in that child’s name?
8. You buy a round of shots (and a Diet Coke) for $27 and can’t believe you were ever too poor to buy your own drinks.
9. You think all the guys look like douchebags and can’t understand what they’re wearing.
10. Your feet hurt even in flats.
12. You stab people with your car keys to get them out of your way when you want to leave.
13. You leave by midnight.
14. You wake up the next morning hung over – even though you didn’t drink any alcohol.
15. You can’t wait to get home to see your husband and baby.

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14 Responses to “Get Off My Lawn You Crazy Kids”

  1. Awww, Sounds like you had a good time! :) I hope that Erin enjoyed her shower. If it makes you feel better, my ten year reunion made me feel about the same :)

  2. Krista says:

    You are too funny! I happen to love that song, but yeah… I think most of us mommy-types are little past that lifestyle (if we were ever into it before – I wasn’t). LOL!

  3. Oh, and I’ve never heard of Ke$ha or Tik Tok.

  4. I googled it. Apparently I don’t watch MTV anymore.

    • bebehblog says:

      I KNOW the song, because the radio station I listen to sometimes plays it. But it’s really fast. And kind of stupid. And every time I hear it I think “Who thinks a song about getting super drunk is awesome?”

      Now I know.

  5. Carrie says:

    So, so true. I had a similar experience a month or so ago. Except I actually was hungover the next day and couldn’t move for hours. Looking around the old clubs and bars I used to go to made me really sad – and grateful that’s not my life anymore!

    P.S. About guys these days… seriously. What are they wearing? ;)

  6. bebehblog says:

    I forgot this one:

    16. When you’re scanning for a radio station with fun going out music to listen to in your minivan, you come across Garrison Keillor and decide to just listen to A Prairie Home Companion instead.

  7. Other Erin says:

    I love that song…although I agree the $ in her name is completely unnecessary. I had an AWESOME weekend!

  8. jill says:

    ah, i feel old all the time too lately. my husband just turned twenty eight [and im six months behind] and i remember being a teenager thinking that thirty year olds were “so old!” and now here i am! and who the heck is ke$ha!?! haha

  9. brigidkeely says:

    I’m 31 and apparently was born old, because I grew up listening to Prairie Home Companion and only drink at bars when other people are buying. So expensive! I could get drunk at home for MUCH cheaper!

    The no-booze-hangover is awful. I feel so cheated when I wake up that way. I didn’t do anything wrong! Why am I being punished?

  10. TMae says:

    The “Senior Special” dinner! It’s my favorite!

    And every now and then I’ll check out the Top 100 songs on iTunes, and I’ll think, “I don’t know who a single one of these musicians is.” ::head desk:::

  11. Ashley says:

    I always feel old now because I find myself saying “when I was your age” a lot. I used to get annoyed when my parents would use that line on me, but now I completely understand and it makes me think wow I really am getting old. I’m not even sure what the deal is with Kesha, or whatever. Her music sounds rubbish to me.

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