You know those people who have amazing personal style and do crazy things with makeup and ride vintage bicycles to local farmer’s markets where they make 5 new friends and eat jicama salads with hand-shaved Parmesan and triple chocolate cake but still lose 5 pounds while homeschooling their kids and writing an incredibly successful blog and then do some long division just for fun?

I am not one of those people.

Almost nothing comes naturally to me. The last time I was just plain GOOD at something without really trying was dance class when I was 11. My teacher said I had perfect feet and fantastic arches. If you knew how often I thought about that compliment even now 18 years later you would laugh at me.

Most of the time it seems like everything takes so much EFFORT. Nothing is effortless – it is in fact, effort-FUL – and it all feels sort of overwhelming. Sleepless nights, raising a toddler, feeding my family, keep the house from devolving into TOTAL chaos, buying clothes that fit, making sure I don’t have mascara running down my face (I usually do), maintaining friendships, running, providing fun and educational learning experiences for my children…They all seem hard to me, especially when I think of them all at once. Thank God there’s no long division.

So last night I added one more thing that’s going to take some effort, but hopefully in the long run it will make a lot of things easier. I went to a Weight Watchers meeting and signed up.

Despite my skepticism and my determination to find SOMETHING to roll my eyes at, I liked the meeting. I like the plan. I like the fact that I get to eat more because I’m nursing. I feel very hopeful that even though it’s going to take some work, I’ll be able to finally get back to a happy place where I don’t cringe every time I look in a mirror. Because although “eat less and move more” sounds easy enough (perhaps even effortless for some people) it is not enough for me. I’m going nowhere without trying harder and I feel like until I can be happier with MYSELF I have no chance at being happier with my life in general. And who has time to be unhappy with themselves when there are vintage bicycles to ride?

p.s. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a weight loss blog and I’m not being sponsored in any way. I’ve just heard good things and seen friends and family have a lot of success, so when my friend Cheri asked if I wanted to come with her I decided I had nothing to lose. Besides 50 pounds. So, yeah.

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18 Responses to “Efforts”

  1. Brigid Keely says:

    FYI, you make writing a fun, informative, entertaining parenting blog SEEM pretty effortless. I mean, I know it’s a lot of work, and you put a lot of time and effort into it, but you do it REALLY REALLY WELL.

  2. MeganTBeach says:

    I just signed up too! And I’m nursing as well and I am not going to be stopping any time soon just because of all the extra points you get!!! I’ve lost 2.8 lbs in 2 weeks. Nothing huge, but better than what I was doing before. Good luck!

    • bebehblog says:

      2.8 pounds IS huge! I’ve been doing it exactly 1 day now and I’m still excited. I just used my nursing points for a bowl of ice cream.

  3. 1. I agree with Brigid.
    2. You are awesome.
    3. Eat less and move more is super hard. I annoy myself when I say it. It is all I have to cling to when I want to drink diet shakes and force myself on mastercleanse.

    • bebehblog says:

      I feel like I DO eat less and move more, especially the move more part and I see zero results. Or even negative results, like the 10 pounds I’ve gaining since I started going to Stroller Strides 4 times a week instead of 2 or 3. And if anyone tells me muscle weighs more than fat I will throat punch them.

  4. Krista says:

    See? You’re someone who I look at and think, “Damn, she’s got it all together” You whip up great meals and share the recipes, you’re crafty, you keep two short humans alive all day, and you tell fantastic funny stories. So, I get this. Completley. But, if I think you do and you think you don’t, then perhaps none of us really have it together at all??

    • bebehblog says:

      I think there are very few people who DO have it all together, because that’s pretty much impossible. But there are so many people who make stuff look easy – especially personal style, that is the HARDEST THING for me – and it’s hard not be envious.

  5. Sarah-Anne says:

    you are so inspiring, suzanne!! i mean, i look at you and think “she’s got things together, she’s got great & witty posts, & she makes cute bebehs.” you are awesome, just the way you are, and when {not IF} you lose 50 lbs, you are going to be unstoppable!! :D

  6. Barbra says:

    just a little perspective: the biggest reason i read your blog (besides it being funny and well-written) is that I find you inspiring. You DO manage to create fun crafts and good healthy dinners, even though it might not happen everyday, you still do it more often than not.
    I would love to be more like you. But, alas, it will never be. I’m not a good writer – writing (and photography) is either an art or documentation. What I do is documentation (such-and-such happened, etc.). What you do is art. You turn everyday things (bebeh feet, mama fails – remember the hockey stick/chili incident, ginger hair,) and make it beautiful.
    Having said that, there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself if it will make yourself feel better. I hope WW works out the way your want it too. And if it doesn’t, it will make great material for your blog. :)

  7. Alena says:

    You are going to do great. Losing weight didn’t come easy to me either. Which is why I had to do NS. Because I needed it to be THAT strict in order for it to work. Because given a choice…I will always choose wrong.

  8. Kim says:

    I am constantly in awe of all you do and how perfectly you document it here. Knowing that even you don’t feel as if you have it all together makes me feel better about my personal disappointments over here. Oh, and I’m a dancer with crappy arches, so thanks for the reminder, Suzanne. :P

  9. molly says:

    You know I am behind you 100%. Also, you really do make this SAHM thing look like a breeze. The food, the crafts, your home. It’s all beautiful. And so are you.

    Good luck, Suzanne. You’re gonna knock those WW people on their asses.

    • bebehblog says:

      If you could see the state of the front half of my house, I’d die of shame. I never let anyone come over just because I can’t stay on top of the mess. But your words mean so much to me. Thank you Molly.

  10. Kim says:

    Well, you make many things look easy. Like being a fun and cool mom. And obviously writing, which you have a true gift for in my humble opinion. I question anyone who appears to live an effortless life. Just dont think it’s possible.

    Best of luck with WW.

  11. Talana Melton says:

    Suzanne, you are hilarious. This is probably the third time I have been ABLE to read your blog! Love it. I recall seeing you about Two years ago, and I loved your style! And about that mess. We all have one! If any of you SAHMs have an immaculate home, maybe you should be spending more time with your Babies! Post some pics, Suzanne, and we all will confirm that we have a different version of said mess.

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