Don't read this

Ha, I knew you’d keep reading. There’s no WAY you could resist after and intro like that.

But SERIOUSLY, don’t read any more if you can’t keep your EWWWWWS and your WHAT A SICKO and your JUDGY JUDGY JUDGYPANTS STATEMENTS to yourself.

This morning I tried my breastmilk. My boobs were super swollen and I was letting them squirt themselves out in the sink when I thought “Hmmm, maybe I could…no, that’s weird. But it’s not weird, it’s milk! Human milk! For humans! How is it any weirder than drinking cows milk? Still, WEIRD. But you know you want to and you’ve been secretly thinking about it for a while so…” and before I could stop myself I caught some in my palm and drank it. It was delicious. Not “put it on my cereal every morning” delicious, but “wow, no wonder the baby likes nursing so much” delicious.

I have a suspicion I am not the first mother to do this but how do I confirm that? “Gee what a cute baby! I love your stroller! Do you ever drink your own breastmilk ?” Yeah, not so much. So for now I’m going to stand on my soapbox yelling “NOT GROSS! HUMAN MILK FOR HUMANS!” while secretly thinking I’m a little bit crazy.

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No Responses to “Don't read this”

  1. h_a_l says:

    You’re not alone! I have been thinking of trying it every time my overactive boobs start leaking everywhere. I bet most moms have been there, done that!

  2. stacyinbean says:

    I know I would try it, so I will not judge!!! We are the only ones who routinely drink milk that isn’t ours, right? I wonder if women used to be milk dispensaries for entire towns?

  3. sarrible says:

    Well, at least you didn’t try to make ice cream out of it.

  4. erniebufflo says:

    Um, I ABSOLUTELY plan to try it. My body makes food and I’m not going to try it? It’d be like a chef not tasting his sauce! Most of the moms in my Bible study admitted to tasting it as well. One said hers tasted like canteloupe.

  5. Other Erin says:

    Please, there is a whole episode of Friends about people drinking breastmilk.

  6. bebehblog says:

    Sarrible – I thought about it. I have enough and part of me thinks it would be really tasty. And if that guy in Switzerland is looking to buy human milk, dude, CALL ME.

    Ernie & Erin – The cantaloupe thing is from that episode of Friends. I would say mine was closer to soy milk, a little more watery than regular milk and kind of sweet.

  7. TheDomina says:

    That’s not weird at all! I’m sure most moms have tried it.

  8. lalaland13 says:

    Nah, not weird at all. You’re fine, dear. Don’t worry about it. If I was lactating, I might try it as well.

  9. Audrey says:

    I totally tried it when I was breast feeding. I wanted to know what this food I made was like. I thought it rather sweet and kind of like silk, actually.

  10. Audrey says:

    Er… Silk = soy milk.

  11. Brigid Keely says:

    Breast milk tastes good. Well, mine did.

    Formula is fucking foul, however. I feel bad that it’s all my little dude gets to eat. :(

  12. AGreenEyeDevil says:

    Not strange at all. I would assume lactating women WOULD sample their milk to determine if particular foods were influencing its taste, esp. if they consume extreme savory or pungent foods.

  13. I’ve heard many women say they’ve done this. I’ve heard men say that they drink their wives’ breastmilk.

    I’ve heard it tastes like vanilla ice cream.

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