You know those people who always make everything all about them? They are the WORST. It’s so annoying. You try to tell them about your amazing weekend at the beach and they can’t even wait for you to finish before they’re telling YOU all about THEIR amazing weekend at the beach…never mind that it was three years ago and you’ve already heard the story 50 times. Or you write a heartfelt blog post about your struggle with weight loss and they leave a 500 word comment about THEIR struggle with weight loss…and then say “But now I’m a size 2 and everything is awesome!”

I am one of those people. (Well, except for that size 2 bit because AHAHAHAHAHA.)

I realized this about myself a few months ago, and although I’ve been making a conscious effort to fix it I’m afraid it’s not going very well. I want so badly to show people I understand and empathize with them I turn into a big Jerky McJerkface Selfishpants almost any time I talk or comment. Even when I KNOW I am doing it I have a hard time stopping. I think “But my experience really does relate to theirs!” or “But I want them to know we have so much in common!” or “But my kid does something cute too!” when I should really just shut up and nod.

But it’s hard to shut up and nod! And on the internet no one can see me nodding! And I feel like comments that just say “I love this picture!” or “Great story!” create a big giant echo chamber of nothing. So where is the balance between building a community and being a self-centered douchecanoe? I haven’t figured it out yet, but I’d like to officially apologize for all the times I’ve gotten in the canoe.

Please forgive me for my faults, and I promise I’ll keep working on them.

(Also, in college I was often accused of being kind of a snotty bitch when really I was just painfully nervous around new people and my attempts at humor were so awkward people thought I was insulting them. So basically I really AM the worst.)