I will probably annoy you

I know mothers are pretty much split between ones who walk around saying “Oh I just loved being pregnant!” and women who think those bitches are lying. Who loves puking? Or stretch marks? Or the incredibly painful and constant leg cramps I’ve started getting during the night? Maybe if all those lying liars would stop talking about the joys of pregnancy everyone else would feel less bad about not loving every single minute of it.

Actually, I’m afraid I fall into the annoyingly happy category. Obviously I didn’t love morning sickness and I certainly won’t celebrate the spider veins appearing daily on my thighs. But every single time the baby moves, I forget all the bad parts. Every roll, punch, kick and wiggle is like being sprinkled with magic baby fairy dust and I want to stop everything else so I don’t miss a second of it. I’m sure once the baby is actually out in the world doing adorable baby things I won’t be so amazed at a few kicks, but right now, nothing in the world is better than being punched in the cervix. I bet you never thought you’d hear someone say that.

4 Responses to “I will probably annoy you”

  1. lalaland13 says:

    I think my mom was the same as you. She said she was “glowing” and all the crap was worth it because she got me at the end (she has low expectations, it seems). And I put her in the hospital around four months because she was losing weight and sick all the time.

    Hey, does the new year bring a baby pool? I want to get in on that-I already have a date in mind (it’s a friend’s birthday, so I’m not a total crazy fetus stalker).

  2. One of my most precious memories from my wife being pregnant with my daughter was listening to her with the baby sound monitor we bought. Listening to her heart beating away in my wife’s belly, and feeling her little hands and feet grazing mine as she rolled around inside… it was joy. My wife felt like she’d swallowed Mike Tyson, but she loved the feeling.

  3. katie says:

    Hey, the leg cramps could be low potasium, eat a few bannanas. Love Aunt Katie

  4. sarrible says:

    My mom always said she liked being pregnant because we were easier to carry around. Sweet potatoes and beans are also good for potassium, and your blood pressure. Which, as we know, is excellent, so good job with all that, model gestating lady.

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