A Warning for Your Own Sake

You may want to re-think reading this blog. I have officially entered the stage of pregnancy where the gross stuff happens. All the cute parts are over until I get through labor and delivery and have an actual baby to talk about, with maybe a few exceptions for photos of my baby shower or nursery. Even if I have funny stories or amusing anecdotes to share I cannot guarantee they won’t involve words like “mucus plug”.

I can say that pregnancy is like body-function boot camp for people who still call their gynecologist a “lady doctor” or light candles every time they crap. I made my first “can someone tell me what the hell is happening?” call to my doctor’s office today, and explained some very personal anatomical details to three different people before a nurse finally suggested I just come in and let someone take a look. So now I get to show three different people some very personal anatomical details. And since I doubt I’m actually in labor, this will only be one of about a dozen pelvic exams I get to look forward to in the next four weeks. Oh the joys of pregnancy.

12 Responses to “A Warning for Your Own Sake”

  1. sarrible says:

    Luckily, on the Internet, no one can see you twitch uncontrollably, get up from the computer, and go huddle in the corner chanting “I’ll just adopt” while chugging shiraz.

  2. stacyinbean says:

    WHOOHOOO! Have you started to dilate? Telling my girlfriends about mucus plugs is one of many freak out stories I tell about the two pregnancies I got to watch my mother go through in my teens. I love gross stuff so bring it on lady!!! Unless it’s hemorrhoids. Those I am petrified of.

  3. Honestly, I like to hear all the gory stuff. Because I want to be prepared when it happens to me. All you ever hear about pregnancy is sunshine and rainbows, with a little morning sickness thrown in. I want reality!

  4. bebehblog says:

    And Stacy, that’s exactly what I have. Plus probably a UTI. Both of which my midwife thinks are “not that bad” and sort of implied I was wasting her time with my concerns. I’m a very very grumpy pregnant woman.

  5. lalaland13 says:

    I’m like Dotty. I sort of want to know to prep myself if I ever decide to allow someone to knock me up. But I understand how you might not want to go into too great detail, for dignity’s’ sake. Basically, you’re about to pop out a kid, so it’s your call.

    I will say though, that I saw some TV show that had a doctor waving around the placenta that was shared by quadruplets. I nearly barfed. It was huge.

  6. AGreenEyeDevil says:

    Bless you! I really hope Baby E decides to make an early arrival, although post-partum has some equally challenging aspects. Keep posting, you have every right to be gumpy as HELL!

  7. FourInchHeels says:

    It’s good that I googled mucus plug, because I was starting to get hungry for lunch. Thankfully, I’m not any more!

  8. stacyinbean says:

    Oh darling, I’m sorry! I am so afraid of them, and they seem so inevitable with pregnancy! ARGHHHH!!! I hope you have a bunch of helpful medicines to put on at least! Though I guess maybe you can’t use them now that Baby E is, like, right there… Oy. Anywho, I hope your butt feels better! Get a donut!

  9. bebehblog says:

    Aaaaaah! I was just wishing it was the weekend so I could post a question in the open thread and now there’s a whole post about it!

    Apparently, there is little or nothing a doctor can do to help, unless you have really REALLY huge ones. Even though I had to wear a pad because my ass was bleeding (so so so so so sorry) I was told Tucks pads and Preparation H were my only options. The good news is that the doctor suspects I’m getting hemorrhoids because the baby has dropped extra low to prepare for birth. So hopefully I’m getting close!

  10. stacyinbean says:

    Oh your poor bum! I can’t believe he’s coming for serious! And to get nice and hippie dippy on you, witch hazel can really help with bleeding and all the other symptoms if you want something less synthetic!

  11. h_a_l says:

    Oh, girl I am so so sorry! I was going to recommend witch hazel too. I’ve had to deal with the annoying H before I was even pregnant when i was working as a waitress and bartender and on my feet all the freakin time. But Yay for Baby E dropping down getting ready! I can’t believe your due date is 3 weeks away!! My friend Kari’s due date was Friday and there’s no baby yet!

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