Thanks to much advice here and offline, I have decided I am definitely going to go to Virginia sans baby next weekend. I think the absolute deciding factor was that in a few short months I’m going to have a newborn again and it will probably be at least another year before the chance to escape sleep in presents itself again and without a break I’m afraid the burnout will be fast and painful.

I’m slightly giddy already thinking about how much fun spending time with my two very best girlfriends from high school will be. I might not be quite as much fun as I was at my own bachelorette party (drinking lighter fluid is probably not a wise choice when one is pregnant)(or any other time)(I thought it was just really strong alcohol)(shut up I was 22) but I love these girls dearly and don’t see them nearly enough. And with no baby to put to bed/run home to check on I can stay out until I collapse from pregnancy exhaustion at 10 pm as late as I want. My minivan is going to be quite useful as the DD vehicle too. We shall call it the Swagger Wagon. Maybe I’ll even write it on the side.

Plus, I am really looking forward to what I am sure will be a renewed appreciation from my husband for all I do around here when I get home. Two and a half days isn’t exactly a long time but I’m hoping it’s long enough for him to learn…

– Just how quickly laundry piles up when you don’t do a load for three days.

– What it’s like to be solely responsible for lunch and dinner (although who am I kidding, he’s getting fast food all weekend).

– The terror that is 11:30 am. Too early for a nap, too screamy and miserable for playing.

– The mystery of where all this DAMN PET HAIR comes from.

– Where we keep the paper towels/Tylenol/Swiffer/plastic plates/mini-bagels/eight million other things I feel like he’s always asking for instead of just looking. zOr remembering, since I TOLD HIM YESTERDAY.

– What it’s like to never ever get to use a bathroom alone/with the door closed.

– How difficult it is to just “run out to the store” when you have a child who may or may not be in the mood for “running out” to anywhere.

– How lucky you feel when nap time lasts 3 hours.

– The amazing moment when you actually hope the baby wakes up because you miss him.

– The first two hours of the day when Baby Evan is always happy and fun and the most darling child on the planet.

– Strangers in every kind of public place instantly falling in love with your kid and how proud you feel when he smiles at them or waves bye-bye.

I am also looking forward to missing my kid, in the sense that it will be a nice long break during which maybe I can forget some of the particularly awful moments as of late and just focus on how much I really do love being a mom. To paraphrase, it’s hard to miss it when it WON’T GO AWAY, you know?

(P.S. I feel sort of like I’m talking about this wedding/bridal shower an ENORMOUS AMOUNT considering I’m not the one getting married. But it’s going to be the first real grown-up type event I/we’ve gone to since Baby Evan was born so in my book it’s pretty much the equivalent of being invited to The Oscars.)

July 24, 2010 marks the 2 year bloggiversary of Bebehblog. I think the traditional gift is air in a can. Or maybe pants in the next size up. It’s sometimes hard to believe that I’ve been posting for that long, especially when I look at how far I HAVEN’T come. I may actually have fewer readers today than I did on that first post, thanks to my penchant for describing the state of my cervix in detail. (Don’t worry, if you missed it the first time around I’ll be doing it again at Christmas!)

But a lot of things have changed. I don’t just write anonymously into a void anymore. I write for my family, for my extended family, for friends who have moved away and for new friends. I have a real ad network that might some day actually pay me something. I’ve joined the fourth circle of hell known as Top Baby Blogs. PR people have suddenly noticed my existence and want me to tell you about their great new *insert product totally inappropriate for pregnant woman/toddler here*. Love it or hate it, I’ve starting doing giveaways. I became a Twitter addict. I bought a fancy new camera and started pretending I was the Pioneer Woman.

But despite all of that, I still feel like I write mostly for me and because I like to make people laugh. Which is why I started, those long 24 months ago, and why I can’t see myself stopping any time soon. In honor of this very special anniversary, please enjoy the post from my very first day as a Bebehblogger, written practically seconds after finding out I was knocked up.

WARNING: Several mentions of where bebehs come from below! Let this be a warning to anyone who thinks “Oh no, I’m anonymous!  My mother/grandmother/friend Amanda’s step-dad will NEVER find my blog!”

Testing…testing

“For something called ‘Clear Blue’, this thing isn’t very clear is it?” said my husband E as we squinted at the pregnancy test, looking for one vertical line.  “Look! It’s right there! I can see it!” I insisted.  “I don’t see it…wait, there it is! No I don’t…oh hold on! Wait…never mind” said E. Stupid pregnancy test, we both agreed. We’ll buy a new box.

We’ve talked about having kids since we got married in August 2004, but only decided the time was “right” last October. But then we decided we should probably wait until he made some career decisions. In January my grandfather died and I had one of those if-we-don’t-have-kids-soon-so-many-people-we-love-might-never-meet-them moments. We decided again to start trying. But I had promised to be Maid of Honor in my best friend’s wedding, so I didn’t want to be pregnant for that.  In March we decided the time was never going to be perfectly right so I threw out my birth control pills. No baby in April. E was out of town for his job in May and the first part of June, so I did some period math and figured out the first weekend he’d be home was just about the week I’d be ovulating. Did you know that when it comes to babies, everything gets counted from the first day of your period? For years I’ve thought I was most fertile two weeks after the end of my period. Nope. It’s days 10-14 of your whole cycle. Aaaaand now that I think about it, I’m damn lucky I never got pregnant accidentally due to my poor reproductive knowledge.

We had sex twice the weekend that was supposed to be right for baby-making. A week later I declared I was feeling queasy and must have morning sickness. Six days before my period I couldn’t take it anymore and bought a box of early response tests. The next morning I peed on the stick and waited three minutes, staring at my bathroom floor. It really needs to be cleaned. Times up, no line. Not even a really really really faint maybe-I-see-it line. According to the very long instructions in the box, there was still almost a 50% chance I was pregnant, but seeing the results come out negative seemed so final to me. I put pregnancy out of my mind and vowed to try again next month.

My period didn’t come. When I was officially 6 days late I couldn’t take the stress of waiting anymore, so I tried another Clear Blue test. This is how we ended up in the kitchen with a piece of plastic I had recently urinated on. “Maybe I’m just a little bit pregnant?” I suggested, even though I knew this isn’t really possible. “We’ll go get a better, fancier test. A digital test,” suggested my technophile husband.

Sunday July 20^th, my mother’s birthday, I took the better, fancier test. PREGNANT said the little window. I just stared at it with my mouth hanging open. “What’s the matter? What does it say?” E asked, grabbing it from me. “Hey, good job!” he said when he saw it. “Um, thanks. I’m pregnant,” I said, in case he was still unclear. “Yeah you are!” he grinned. “I’m pregnant” I said again, showing off my awesome conversation skills, “What do I do now?”

Since I don’t bring up E’s career very often, a quick sum-up so this post makes sense to everyone: My husband is a Chief Petty Officer in the Navy and is mostly assigned to nuclear submarines although he’s currently on shore duty. In 2012 he has to go back to a sub.

It looks like E is going to re-enlist again in a few months really soon in October, meaning he is definitely in the Navy for the long haul. We knew he would be re-enlisting at least one more time the LAST time he did it (which seems like just yesterday but was apparently 2 years ago)(having a baby can really make time fly y’all)(I bet you’ve never heard THAT before) because it put him over 10 years, the halfway point. After 20 years of military service you get to keep certain benefits – a pension, base privileges, cheap health care – forever.

Since he enlisted when he was 19, my husband is going to retire at age 39.

To be fair, it’s only a retirement from his first job. He’ll probably find something nuclear power related to do in the civilian world and put in another 20 or 30 years before we get to sell the house, buy a yacht and abandon our children travel the world. But maybe, instead of getting a job where he has to carry a briefcase and wear a tie and commute every day, we’ll start a business. Or buy a bar. Or move to rural Tennessee and live on $1000 a month plus whatever I can make blogging working at Walmart. The thought of a life that boring and normal makes me giddy and lightheaded.

But before we can start making plans like that we have to make it through the next 10 years of Navy life. We will have to move – probably several times. E will be deployed – probably several times. We’ll have to sell this house – the house I love, the house my babies came home to – in a market that means we’ll be lucky if we get out without having to bring money to closing. Forget getting back any of the cash we’ve already put into it. And even more than the material inconvenience of leaving, I cannot even begin to imagine my life without the friends/support system/general awesomeness I have here. In fact, I’m going to have to stop thinking about it right now or risk getting all sweaty and shaky and panicky. Starting over – even after 28 continuous years of experience starting over – is HARD.

To be 100% candid, re-enlisting also comes with a bonus – as in dollars – that would mean our plans to turn the third floor junk room into a guest room (and perhaps the guest room into a second nursery) could happen in the foreseeable future rather than “some day” and our “four bedroom” house could actually be sold as a 4-bedroom house. It would also mean canceling cable is as far as our drastic budget cuts have to go – no buying cans from the dented pile, veggies from the bruised cart of bread from the thrift store (true story: as a kid I thought the Hostess Thrift Shop was where they sold used donuts and muffins). That kind of financial security also makes me giddy and sort of lightheaded.

So there’s an upside to go with the downside. And truthfully, not having to worry about sudden unemployment or layoffs or downsizing or whatever not-at-all helpful euphemism companies are using these days is such a blessing. So I’m going to think about the good parts instead of the maybe-in-a-little-whiles.

Another upside? The uniforms. Oh, yes.

From the day E was pinned (promoted) to Chief

One of the Navy Balls - I was 3 or 4 months pregnant

E doing his best Top Gun impression (I'm still pregnant)

Sailor Sandwich! Tell me you're not jealous.

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Today is the last day to enter the TerraCycle giveaway! If you haven’t commented yet, that’s all it takes to win some super fun school supplies. Winner announced first thing tomorrow!

Even though it was a bazillionty degrees on Sunday, we made it out to Buttonwood Farms for their annual Sunflowers for Wishes event, one of those things I’ve had on my “local stuff to experience” list for several years but somehow always managed to miss. They plant 15 acres of sunflowers and sell wagon rides and bouquets for $5 with all money going to the Make a Wish foundation. Fantastic photo op PLUS do-goody feelings? How can you resist?

I'm pretty sure those are the cows they get the milk for the amazing ice cream from. Unfortunately the line was at least 50 people long so we'll go back for the ice cream some other day.

I know the baby's not even pay attention but I think I look GREAT (minus armpit fat) so I'm posting it anyways. Vanity, thy name is 4 months pregnant in 95 degree heat.

Baby Evan like the wagon ride more than this photo seems to indicate.

There we a LOT of bees. Luckily, we're not allergic. I don't think.

Not a photo effect - they really did look like they were glowing.

NOW it's time for fun with photo filters.

I swear on all things cheese this photo is SOOC (straigh out of camera). I didn't adjust a single thing.

I'm sorry, I can't stop. They're just so pretty and happy and fun to do artsy photo stuff to.

17 weeks preggo

I couldn't resist buying a couple bouquets. Sunflowers are just so...sunny. Brilliant, I know.

One more for good measure.

It was a good day.

p.s. Remember, the TerraCycle giveaway ends Thursday and there aren’t that many entries so the odds are pretty good you might win! All it takes is a comment! Trust me, entering means more to ME than it does to you – I’m just trying out the giveaway thing and would hate to discover it makes people hate me.

Yesterday morning when he woke up, Baby Evan lay in his crib and announced he was awake rather than cry or scream.

He ate a bagel and grapes for breakfast, an entire grilled cheese sandwich for lunch and ravioli off a plate WITH A FORK for dinner.

He brought us books and sat quietly while we read them. Over and over and over and over.

We played the “name that body part game” and he did nose, ear, head, belly and bellybutton on both himself and on me.

He gave lots of kisses both on demand and on his own.

He appears to have grown some more hair, especially on top.

At bedtime, he had a bath and jammies and a book and then E said “night night”, put him in the crib awake and standing up. Baby Evan lay down, hugged his blankie and went to sleep. Not a single protest.

WHO IS THIS TINY HUMAN BEING PERSON AND WHERE DID MY BABY LUMP GO????

p.s. I also felt Sandy moving for the first time yesterday. OMG THEY’RE GROWING SO FAST.