PATIO OVERLOAD!!!!!

Sunday:

All our bricks sitting in the driveway

By the end of the week the toddler was doing stuff like this ALMOST BY HIMSELF.

This is the face of someone who still thinks it is funny to work wicked hard all day. SHE IS GONE NOW.

Monday:

Whole wheat banana pancakes for engery

You have a little something on your face.

Leaf! Mormor! Patio! So happy!!!!

Tuesday:

Three inches of gravel, completely level.

Stuffing his face with mee-yah. Mee-yah! = Banana

You can't tell, but she was the Queen of the Fussypantses this week.

Wednesday:

Caroline did this on purpose and found it HYSTERICAL.

That's a lot of miles on my parent's minivan.

You call it poor food choices - I call it ENERGY FOR PATIO BUILDING

Thursday:

8 am and the start of our work day

Caroline & E enjoy my rock wall, which I built ALL BY MYSELF

Shopping date at Target to look at patio furniture. Spoiler alert: we bought this stuff.

Friday:

BOOM.

Finishing the final construction steps

No mama! Don't make me shovel anymore!

Saturday:

Caroline & I took an early a.m. trip to Lowe's for some new plants

My dad decided he HAD NOT DONE ENOUGH this week so he cleaned and organized our garage. The man simply cannot be idle for even 10 minutes.

Safety first.

We went to the Irish pub in town to celebrate the end of a project (it's a tradition with my parents).

And I started looking at bathroom tiles for our NEXT major renovation. Maybe in the spring.

OMG I’m exhausted. Tomorrow is Little Evan’s monthday and then Monday I’ll have try to get back to blogging but it’s going to take me at least a month to talk about anything that isn’t “HAVE YOU SEEN MY PATIO IT IS SO AWESOME”. I’m going to sit on my hands as far as real finished patio pictures go until I get all the furniture I ordered for out here (I say “out here” because I am writing this RIGHT NOW from my patio, since the house wireless reaches our lounging fire pit area) but I won’t be able to resist bragging a little a lot before then. But I’ve missed my real life and my friends and Stroller Strides and not being covered in layers of dirt all day.

Did you take any camera phone photos this week? Link up with one or lots using the linky below and grab the code (so it shows on your blog too!) over at Amy’s . It’s really fun!

We had the Birth to 3 people come out for Little Evan’s speech evaluation yesterday. They scheduled it for 1 pm which is an hour past his normal nap time, so when Evan started asking “night night? night night” before noon I knew it was going to be a LOOOONG afternoon. He actually did pretty well, only reaching that crazy level of exhaustion-induced hyperactivity for the last few minutes of the appointment.

Of course, he’s still a toddler, so his general behavior was in the realm of “I DO WHAT I WANT” for the whole hour. After the fourth time he almost hit the therapist in the face with his miniature hockey stick E took it away and an EPIC meltdown ensued – just at the exact moment the evaluator asked “Does he demonstrate appropriate negative emotions?”

Um, is standing in the middle of the kitchen wailing with giant tears running down his face because we took his stick away “appropriate”?

Turns out the answer is YES. BECAUSE HE IS TWO.

The evaluation was actually for all sorts of possible developmental problems, including an early screening for autism spectrum disorders. They brought toys and games and asked him to stack rings and point at items and identify pictures and show off his motor skills. There was one test that involved matching items on little cards (where’s the other spoon? where’s the other dog?) but he was totally over it after less than 30 seconds and ran off to chase the cat. The therapist actually skipped that test completely, because although not being able to focus long enough to participate is unhelpful, it wasn’t a measure of his ability to complete the task and she didn’t want to score him a zero on that one test when he could complete all the others.

The other 50% of the evaluation was questions for me ranging from my pregnancy to how Little Evan handles meeting strangers to what goals we have as a family. (I bombed on that last one BTW. I had no clue. She said some people say to be healthier as a family or to buy a bigger house or maybe a new car. I said “I just want us all to be happy” which makes me sound like a Miss USA contestant.) She asked a series of questions until we reached one where I gave a “wrong” answer, even if it meant going far past the skills they expect a 26 month old to have mastered. Not knowing which answer I was supposed to give made my palms sweat, but both women were so nice and very willing to help me explain and elaborate on my answers until they really understood what Evan’s typical behavior would be.

E came home from work early to be here for the meeting, which was both helpful – when dealing with EPIC TODDLER MELTDOWN – and unhelpful – when the evaluator asked “Does he have trouble separating from mom and dad, even with other familiar adults?”

“Not at all” said I.

“Absolutely” said E.

After a few minutes of clarification and discussion, we decided that we were both right. When we are all at home in the family room and one parent leaves Little Evan will scream and cry and throw a fit because someone is going somewhere and it is probably fun and how DARE they not take him TOO??! But when it comes to allowing another adult to provide for him he doesn’t care at all who it is. He let my father-in-law (who he hadn’t seen in months) put him to bed in an unfamiliar bedroom in Ohio without any problems. He regularly wanders off to the bathroom with my friend Cheri when she takes her son. He will ask anyone who happens to be around for help if he needs it. Apparently a lack of stranger-danger is OK at two, although I am suddenly much more worried about someone snatching him in public because he’d happily go without any protest. We should work on that.

But we WON’T be working with the Birth to 3 people anymore, because after an hour the therapist determined he’s totally normal for a 2 year old and we did not qualify for services. Which is good news. They assured me his vocabulary is fine and that they could understand a lot of what he said and that he had no other signs of any sort of delay. Some of their statistics were really reassuring – the 50 words by 2 is only a general guideline because that’s the point when kids start to put 2 words together and THAT is the real milestone for normal development. Little Evan has recently added “I” in front of most of his statements  – “I slide! I wash! I stink! I fall down!” – so we’ve got 2 work phrases down. They also said a parent should be able to understand 60-70% of their child’s words at this age, which is almost exactly where we are. The speech therapist also confirmed that a child with advanced motor skills (she was REALLY impressed he can hit a ball with a hockey stick with direction) might take longer when it comes to verbal skills. I know it’s something people SAY but to hear it from an expert was nice.

One suggestion from the speech therapist that I really loved was to qualify and expand on the words he does have when he says them. When Evan points at a balloon and says “bah-oon!” instead of just saying “Yes that’s right!” I should say “Yes! That’s a red balloon! A big red balloon!”. I don’t know why I never thought of that on my own, but now I’m going to make a real effort to do it for all his words.

Two more things that made me really happy: First, we’re elligable for a development evaluation every 3 months, so if 12 weeks from now I’m still concerned they will come back and do it again. Second, at no point did they tell me I was over-reacting, concerned for no reason, imagining things or silly. I was actually more afraid of being laughed at than I was they would find something wrong and suggest we start therapy. But this evaluation couldn’t have gone better.

So if you’re wondering if you should mention your developmental concerns to your pediatrician? The answer is YES. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and I can go back to just enjoying being mom to a toddler.

We’re having an extremely busy week with more busy days to come…but somehow 90% of my pictures are still “Caroline being cute!” “Evan making a face!” Obviously I need to take more pictures that prove sometimes I actually DO STUFF besides stare at my kids.

Sunday:

Caroline learned to talk just to tell me "Happy Mother's Day!" OK, so she said "Aaaaaaeeeiiiiihhhhh!!" but I knew what she meant.

30 seconds later that lemonade was all over the floor. Oh, two year olds.

The toddler insisted I push them both around Target like that. So much for taking it easy on my special day.

Monday:

Someone found her feet!

He couldn't find the dog, so he tried lying on the cat. Meanwhile, the cat plottd my demise.

I should NOT have let him do this - it is now impossible to get him out of the car without some "driving" first.

Right now, as I write this, Caroline is SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF. So I'm posting extra smiley pictures to remind myself she's usually extra smiley.

Sharing a joke.

Tuesday:

Evan's choice was to eat with his blankie. I support him when he makes good choices. Even if they're weird.

Swinging high!

Kale before it was turned into chips. I think from now on I'll just put it on my sandwiches.

Wednesday:

Mmmmm...bread. I ate at least half the loaf myself and I don't even feel bad about it.

We read Chicken Soup with Rice before nap time.

This is our other EVIL cat, Rabbit. She likes torturing mice and peeing on E's pillow. EVIL.

Onesie embroidered by the lovely @lifeversiontwo and skirt from Uff Da!

Thursday:

I-95 is really boring at 4 am - Just the way we like it.

CHEESE!!!

Cracker Barrel! I had breakfast for dinner, which is the only acceptable choice at Cracker Barrel.

Lilacs in full bloom - does ANYTHING smell better than lilacs?

Friday:

Have I mentioned recently that Eastern Connecticut is a BLACK HOLE of chain food restaurants? So when we come to Ohio we hit up everywhere possible.

FRENCH FRY! So the reason we were at lunch was because E has these internet friends he plays WoW with and he wanted to finally meet up in person. HE IS NO LONGER ALLOWED TO MAKE FUN OF BLOGHER.

Looks like a hat to me.

Part of the conservatory where my SIL is getting married. Outside. Everyone pray for NO RAIN on Sunday!

At the rehearsal dinner, the tables made a big rectangle. We threw Little Evan in with his cousins for some toddler-child death match. It was excellent entertainment.

I usually do pics for Saturday too but the next three days are going to be full of family and severely lacking in naps so I’m giving myself a break and getting this done early. I’ll try to take some pictures for Steppin’ Out this weekend, but if it continues to be EIGHTY DEGREES they’ll just be of me slumped over in the shade with a baby attached to my boob while I drip sweat. Sexy and awesome. Maybe I’ll fish some vintage tissues out of my purse to stick under my arms.

Did you take any camera phone photos this week? Link up with one or lots using the linky below and grab the code (so it shows on your blog too!) over at Amy’s . It’s really fun! )

I yelled at my husband yesterday, in the Taco Bell drivethru.

Not my finest moment. But it’s ok, I’m starting a new diet tomorrow. Oh and the yelling was sort of unnecessary too.

But sometimes I wonder if he will EVER understand what my days are like while he’s at work talking to people who know how to wipe their own butts and don’t smack him in the face when they have a difference of opinion.

We were at Taco Bell and I was making E read all the menu choices out loud, because a) the writing is TINY b) I was in the passenger seat and it’s an awkward angle for seeing the board and c) I always hope they’ll have something new I haven’t heard of before that might delicious instead of ground mystery meat covered in fake cheese sauce. What can I say, I’m an optimist. E was getting frustrated with my squinting and my indecision and in his most exasperated tone said, “If you can’t read the board, WEAR YOUR GLASSES.”

FIRST of all, we have this discussion at least once a week. My glasses are scratched enough to be mostly unusable. My older, slightly wrong prescription glasses give me a headache. My even older, extremely wrong prescription glasses don’t help at all.

SECOND of all, I don’t have an eye doctor here, and I need to see one for a new prescription before I blow any money on new lenses and frames. But seeing a doctor takes free time and there seems to be a shortage of that in my life.

THIRD of all, my eyes aren’t actually that bad. I passed my driver’s exam without the glasses so I don’t HAVE to wear them. I just squint a lot and can’t read medium-small words on the tv.

But the argument isn’t really about whether or not I NEED the glasses – because if I am honest with myself I do, and ought to wear them regularly – it’s how my ability to GET the glasses is hampered by wrangling two children all day. It makes everything HARDER and he doesn’t understand.

E thinks that because he’s capable of caring for both kids in the house doing it elsewhere would be almost the same.* AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Do you know what happens in public? ANYTHING. Anything happens in public. Dogs the toddler can’t touch. Wind that blows on the baby in a way that makes her scream with anger. Food that belongs to people who don’t feel like sharing. Poopsploded diapers and nowhere to change them. POWER OUTLETS. DIRT. TRAFFIC. YELLING. STRANGERS TO JUDGE YOU. And no where safe to just leave the kids while you walk away for a minute and regain your composure.

Take the post office for example. Our post office is a NIGHTMARE – no parking, giant stone steps, no ramps for strollers (or handicapped people for that matter – I’m sure they’re violating about a zillion Americans with Disabilities Act provisions). I was in a town with a better post office so I decided to go there. I park somewhere out of the way so we’re not in the busiest part of the lot. Open the toddler’s door. Unstrap toddler. Fight with toddler about holding hands in the dangerous parking lot. Pick up screaming toddler. Walk around van. Open baby’s door. Pin toddler against the van with my knee while using both hands to get the baby seat out. Get slammed in the shoulder by the auto-closing door the toddler has activated. Hold baby seat in one hand and drag toddler with the other to the building. Fight with toddler about who gets to open the door even though it is too heavy for him. Herd toddler into line. Get out of line to prevent toddler from doors to the mail room. Feel like a terrible parent as he slams his head against a counter because he’s angry. Mail packages. Repeat in reverse back to the car. And I consider that a SUCCESSFUL trip.

E suggested I just use the stroller. All that does is add 10 minutes to a trip that now involves a screaming, thrashing 2 year old and getting stuck in three different sets of doors. It is also impossible for errands that involve: stairs, buying anything bigger than a breadbox, tiny doctor’s offices, places I have not been before and can’t judge for stroller-friendliness beforehand.

Now try that same scenario again only with a doctor’s office full of things Little Evan can’t touch and people who don’t necessarily like children. Oh and depending on the kind of doctor you might get to do it with your pants off. IT IS THE EXTREME OPPOSITE OF FUN and so far down on my list of things I’ll enjoy I’ll take any measures necessary to avoid it. So all my errands and appointments have to be done while E is home AND the offices are open. Not an easy feat.

Because E’s in the military, being healthy is actually PART OF HIS JOB and not only is his medical/dental/eye care provided, they schedule the appointments during work hours and make him go. My bosses aren’t quite so flexible. I don’t have family in the area to leave the kids with. And as much as my friends offer to help, asking them to watch my kids for every appointment would probably get me uninvited to playgroup pretty quick.

How do other people – or people with MORE kids – do this?

Maybe E can just keep reading menu boards for me and I’ll get new glasses when Caroline goes to preschool. In 2015.

*For the record, E is very good at parenting and sharing parenting responsibilities. But without the ability to lactate he can’t comfort and/or feed Caroline so the amount of time I can be away from her in limited. And now I need to write a WHOLE OTHER POST about my expectations of my husband (and men in general) as a father and how I feel both guilty and not at all guilty for asking for help. I need to go back to stupid craft projects before my brain explodes.