S0 I just called my doctor. I’ve been having pretty steady, strong contractions since 5 o’clock, about 5 minutes apart lasting for a minute. Those are the VERY SPECIFIC numbers I was supposed to get before I even bothered thinking about going to the hospital. They practically tattooed it on my stomach during the birthing classes – DON’T COME IN until you’re 5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute, for at least an hour. E is obsessed with timing contractions and was upset that the numbers were more like 3 min, 5 min, 4 min, 3 min, 4 min, 4 1/2 min, 6 min but I just called it good and decided this was labor.

The truth is, I feel pretty ok. My stomach gets really tight and uncomfortable but it’s far from unbearable. The weirdest part is the pressure goes all the way through my lower half, not just in the front like the Braxton-Hicks. It shouldn’t be that surprising, considering I’m due to push a medium sized bowling ball out of my vagina in the next 24 hours or so, but the sensation really is strange. My doctor said I can come in whenever I want, but until it’s uncomfortable I’m better off at home. My only fear is waiting TOO long and missing the window for an epidural – but since my pain tolerance really isn’t that high I doubt there is any way I could be 8 cm dilated without knowing it.

The current plan is to hang out on the couch a little while longer, maybe take a bath, make sure I’ve packed everything I need and then head over to the hospital. I’ve been waiting so long for this to finally be IT that believing it really is is kind of hard. Can I really be sitting here typing this if I’m having a baby??

The very first thing I did after getting a positive pregnancy test result was to buy What to Expect When You’re Expecting and Belly Laughs. The first was obvious, the second I think I heard about on Oprah. For someone who hasn’t been pregnant before, reading up seemed very important, especially since the final exam involves pushing something the size of a watermelon out of your vagina. What to Expect reads like a college textbook, and should really be called Ways to Worry Yourself to Death for the Next 6,384 Hours, And Also Eat Your Vegetables. Jenny McCarthy’s book is really just about her personal experience, although she really enjoys trying to gross the reader out, especially with the stuff about pooping on the delivery table. Luckily I had already read that somewhere, so I didn’t pass out from fear. Again. But this left me with nothing to read but my one lonely copy of Fit Pregnancy and the Internet, which is a really good way to end up lying on the floor moaning that your baby is dooooooooomed.

This was my dilema until my wonderful, beautiful, super smart friend and current favorite person in the whole world Myrtle Beach Bum suggest a book to me. It’s called The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine and it is fantastic. I would almost recommend it as pre-pregnancy reading, especially if you think babies are in your not-too-distant future. It is smart, funny, to the point, and just the thing a pregnant woman needs. Especially since I have zero friends who have been pregnant in the last 20 years to take me to lunch and explain to me that wanting to kill my husband for not emptying the dishwasher is a totally normal feeling, and yes they will help me hide the body. Lifting heavy things is bad for pregnant women.