Posts Tagged ‘development’

Video Killed the Creative Free Playing Imagination Star

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009

Baby Evan is finally at the age where he’s starting to notice the television and it is making me a very sad panda. With a list of reasons kids shouldn’t watch tv as long as my arm and the revelation that even Baby Einstein is more like Baby Paris Hilton I fear it may be time to kick my viewing addiction habit. Or at least cut back. A little. Maybe.

If I was the kind of parent I feel like I SHOULD be, we would pack up this 60-inch monstrosity dominating our family room right now and I would spend my days listening to classical music while reading Voltaire (in the original French) aloud while Baby Evan recites his Latin verbs and colors inside the lines of his Art of the Masters coloring book. But first I need to find out what happened on Glee. And who wins Top Chef. And whether or not Tyra’s models will ever learn to smile with their eyes. And if this guy spins $1.00 on the big wheel. And if Chandler and Monica ever get married. Ok I know that last one but all those Friends reruns aren’t going to watch themselves.

We’re never going to be a tv-free family and I’m comfortable with that decision. I’m not using the tv as a babysitter for my 8 month old. I’m not relying on Dora or the Teletubbies or Barney to teach him the alphabet. I just need to find a balance between using television as a constant background noise to keep me from feeling isolated during the day and making sure Baby Evan’s first words aren’t “THIS….is American Idol!”

I Guess I’m Going To Keep Him

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

What I’m about to say is one of those things I probably shouldn’t write down, not because it’s bad or shameful or scandalous but because every time I say something good about the baby he immediately stops doing the good thing and does the complete opposite. It’s the curse of smug parenting – as soon as you start bragging your baby can sleep through the night/eat vegetables/walk/do long division that ability falls right out of their head and you’re up all night/refusing veggies/carrying him/doing all your own dividing. But I’m going to tempt fate by writing it anyways and maybe give some hope to exhausted miserable new parents everywhere.

Having a baby that’s seven and a half months old is awesome.

Our nighttime routine is dependable and portable – the first bedtime with the baby in Pennsylvania was later than normal but by the second night he went to sleep just as easily as at home. All that cuddly co-sleeping didn’t ruin the baby or his ability to self sooth at all. SO THERE PUSHY BABY BOOKS.

He’s the perfect size to prop up in my lap to nurse – no pillows needed – so he’s easy to feed anywhere. He still gets distracted¬† by loud noises or dogs or new places but he doesn’t bite or pull or try to rip of my nipples and he is very serious about his snacks and gets right back to business. Gotta keep those thighs as enormous as possible!

He has an adorable shy face he uses when women try to talk to him, tipping his face down and peeking out from under his ridiculously long eyelashes. But he’s a big fat faker and is only doing it to draw them in so he’ll get even MORE attention and MORE smiles and MORE “oh what a happy baby!” comments. Who can resist a charming ginger?

He also has a very serious thinking face he uses when he’s concentrating. Usually he’s concentrating on untying my shoes or eating a magazine or trying to climb through the coffee table, but when he sticks out his jaw and bites his tongue and goes “thhhhhhhhpppppt” I immediately forget I was going to scold him.

Mostly, he feels so much like MY BABY now, my very own tiny person that I grew. You get 9 months to prepare your mind and your life for a baby…but no part of pregnancy really prepares you for what it feels like to be someone’s mother. Now, finally, at 7 months I feel like someone’s mother. I love doing new things with him like the aquarium or the park or the beer factory museum. I can’t resist buying him presents every single time I see something I think he might like. Plus, I’ve started referring to Baby Evan and I as “we”, as in “we should probably take a nap” or “we did not nap today” or “WHY AREN’T WE NAPPING RIGHT NOW??” So I’m officially in a committed relationship with my baby. At least I know meeting his family won’t be too awkward.

Great Expectations

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Every parent has hopes and dreams for their children, and from even the very beginning we watch for signs that our baby might be destined for greatness.  Based on his own very unique set of skills, here are some career options for Baby Evan:

Fireman – He can pee on whatever’s on fire. Don’t worry if it’s big or far away, he was really thirsty this morning.

Chef – His restaurant will be super modern and avant garde, serving dishes such as Dog Hair Chowder and Steamed Sleeve with Drool Sauce.

Explosives expert – He has a special skill for ‘splosions.

Dairy Farmer – Self explanatory.

Politician – He’s already so full of shit he can’t keep it to himself. He’s also has the charm, the good looks, and the scandalous naked pictures.

Caught with my pants down

Caught with my pants down

Veterinarian – All the doggies he could ever want AND he gets to poke at them.

Bad guy in a James Bond movie – I think this is his best bet as it combines his skills for being evil, explosions, a love for animals and his giant head all into one perfect profession.

High Expectations

Monday, July 13th, 2009

Dear Jeopardy,

Although I am confident my child is incredibly gifted and a true genius who will someday cure cancer, discover the secret to cold fusion, and invent a diet pill that causes chocolate to burn fat, lets give him a second to figure out how his hands work and why he can’t fit both in his mouth at once. So maybe you should cool it with the “Your child could be on Jeopardy!” emails for, say, five more years. Or at least until he stop crapping himself. K, thanks.



14 weeks

My future genius at 14 weeks.