A little while ago I posted a list of fitness goals I had for myself. I thought putting it on the internet would be a good way to keep myself on track and create some accountability. But since my fitness manifesto, no one has asked me even once why I am surrounded by this pile of Diet Coke cans and York Peppermint Pattie wrappers. YOU GUYS ARE NOT DOING YOUR PART.

I have done a pretty good job attending Stroller Strides, which, by itself, is making a difference. I’m now 4 lbs under the “pre-pregnancy weight” on my medical chart and only 10 lbs away from my actual pre-pregnancy weight. I’ve been told that as long as I’m nursing, losing those last 10 lbs might be the hardest weight anyone has ever tried to lose, but I’m determined to at make every effort. Although I doubt the 20 lbs more I’d like to lose after that is going to be a walk in the park. More like the world’s longest marathon barefoot in the snow up hill both ways. Like the olden days.

My real motivation for losing another 30 lbs is my friend Erin’s wedding in September. I cannot put off ordering the gorgeous J. Crew bridesmaids dress she picked out any longer, but ordering a dress sight unseen means all I have to base my size on is MEASUREMENTS. In INCHES. Which I have to take WITH A TAPE MEASURE. And guys, the biggest size the dress comes in is a 16. Normally, I wouldn’t be anywhere near a 16 but since it’s a “bridesmaids dress” they run small. Because how dare you even think about being involved in a wedding unless you’ve successfully dieted your way down to a respectable size, like a double zero. (Which is an actual size this dress can be ordered in. DOUBLE ZERO. LESS THAN ZERO.) My plan is to call the girl at the bridal shop and ask her to realistically tell me if a) a 16 will fit over my boobs and b) how much extra room there is in the mid section in case possibly maybe my stomach has, er, expanded by September. No, I have nothing to tell you.

Since the giving up soda and candy plan has been a total bust, I’m going to add the world’s most terrifying exercise video to my workout plan. That’s right. I am now the proud owner of Jillian Michaels – 30 Day Shred. I’ve bullied E into doing it with me so for the next month don’t expect to have any conversations with either of us that don’t include “OMG MY AAAAAAARMS. They HUUUUURT. And my LEEEEEGS are SOOOOOORE. Let me tell you more about this workout thing I’m doing! Wait, why are you running away? Come back! It’s REALLY INTERESTING.”

***Don’t forget I’m still looking for donations to help me reach my March of Dimes fund-raising goal. Any amount you can give helps, be it $1 or $20. Our team is doing the best we can but it’s hard to keep badgering people you know for money – so I’ll badger my blog readers instead! Just kidding. All you have to do is click on that purple widget right over there ——–>and you’ll help with RESEARCH and SCIENCE and stuff. Thanks so much!***