Sausage fingers

Name a part of your body that you don’t think can get fat. Your wrists, your ankles, your ears, your toes, your hands. When you are pregnant, this is no longer true. My shoes are giving me blisters in places they used to fit. My boots won’t zip over my ankles. I swear my headbands are tighter, which would mean either my head or my hair is fatter. Today while I was being RESPONSIBLE and HEALTHY and getting my 30 minutes of light to moderate exercise my hands swelled up like balloons. It felt like an allergic reaction (to exercise??!?!?!) but I’m pretty sure I was just retaining water. I couldn’t even make a fist. I can’t even get my wedding ring off anymore, which is really cutting into my free drinks at the bar. KIDDING. Of course I still get free drinks, have you seen my boobs? STILL KIDDING. I’ll ask my doctor about the hand-swelling at my appointment next week, but I’m sure the answer is YOU’RE PREGNANT, DUMMY.

5 Responses to “Sausage fingers”

  1. stacyinbean says:

    Oh heavens darling, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but this will likely just get worse. I recall my aunt not being able to wear ANYTHING but her husbands slippers for the last 2 months of her pregnancy. Let me gently suggest these puppies (link below). They have kept my feet warm and toasty for years and are very squishy and will mold to your foot/ankle area perfectly, no matter how poufy it gets!

  2. stacyinbean says:

    Note I have also been known to wear them outside under jeans because they have a pretty decent bottom…

  3. Erin (i dont have a fake name :( ) says:

    What do you mean thinking ankles can’t get fat?!? Haven’t you ever heard of Cankles?!?

  4. sarrible says:

    I’m pretty sure earlobes can’t get fat. But if you prove me wrong, take a picture.

  5. myrtlebeachbum says:

    Ugh. I had preeclampsia like whoa, and that last week before they finally let me have my babies, all I could squeeze into was an XL hateful black maternity dress and Birkenstocks. Longest week ever. I feel you.

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge