Probably not on the registry

Next time you’re invited to a baby shower, bring the mommy-to-be the most useful, affordable, never-knew-they-needed-it gift: WD-40. Just tape a bow to the top. Trust me, they’ll thank you eventually.

They’ll thank you when that glider they use to rock their screaming baby to sleep starts to squeak and every squeak is another five minutes of lost sleep.

They’ll thank you while they WD-40 every hinge on every door of every room. It’s much easier to put on clothes when you’re not afraid to open the closet door for fear the CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEK will wake the baby.

They’ll thank you because ever single piece of baby equipment is “collapsible” – as if a three foot bright orange high chair is less noticeable standing on two legs instead of four – and collapsing them is much easier when the hinges work.

They’ll thank you if they were given any hand me down baby gear, since no matter how clean the previous owner thought they kept it, anything that’s supposed to slide or swing is stuck because it’s full of a residue made up of goldfish crumbs, apple juice and poop.

And they will really thank you when they realize they ALREADY HAVE A CAN OF WD-40 instead of having to pack up the baby, the car seat, the stroller, and restock the diaper bag just to go spend $4 at Home Depot before they can do any of the above.

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No Responses to “Probably not on the registry”

  1. Erin (i dont have a fake name :( ) says:

    I think you should just invest in a pair of tiny baby ear plugs. Or like a little headset that blocks out all sound, or that maybe plays kiddie music at the same time that only the baby then has to hear.

  2. AGreenEyeDevil says:

    I think the WD-40 should be a gift packed with the industrial size bottle of Shout!

  3. h_a_l says:

    I love WD-40! Speaking of creaky doors, you know whats a bitch? Our bedroom doors are wooden pocket doors which are lovely, except when it’s hot & humid in the summer and they swell and make a horrible noise when you try to open or close them. There is no way to enter or exit our bedroom quietly.

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