No more excuses

How long after having a baby does one get to continue saying “I just had a baby”?

In my darling husband’s mind, “just had a baby” means “the umbilical cord is still attached”. Anything after that is just laziness. Why wouldn’t I want to have a zillion house guests, walk a few miles, go to the DMV? It’s not like “I just had a baby”.

I think at three months I can still say “I just had a baby” and it should excuse me from all sorts of things: social events, making dinner, wearing pants without elastic waistbands. Because I “just had a baby” I don’t have to feel bad about not fitting into my old clothes yet. I can’t be expected to do too much. I need to take it easy. “I just had a baby.”

But when I hear about someone who “just had a baby” and it turns out that baby is already walking/talking/attending preschool I think that’s pushing it. Once your baby can feed itself he’s more of a child than a baby and maybe it’s time to pack up that phrase. Although I guess there doesn’t need to be a limit. One of the advantages of having children is using them as adorable little excuses forever. But I’m going to start feeling guilty for saying “Sorry I can’t, I just had a baby” at some point. I just wish I knew when that was.

No Responses to “No more excuses”

  1. Audrey says:

    When do you stop calling them your baby? I still call Ev a baby but he’s almost standing and soon after he’ll be walking. Will I still call him my baby? I get creeped out when someone is talking about their baby and then a middle school or high schooler walks in. Or, even worse, someone in or above their 20s.

  2. lisa says:

    nobody should make you feel guilty about anything, but I’d say that if it took you 9 months to grow the damn kid, you should get a 9 month window of recovery. It’s like working overtime when you’re a salaried employee: if I work 50 hours this week, I only work 30 hours the next.

    but my womb has never been a vessel, so i have no authority on this matter.

  3. Other Erin says:

    Use Charlotte from Sex and the City’s forumla for getting over someone. It takes half the time you were with the person. So you were pregnant 10 months (since the whole 9 thing is garbage) so after 5 months you no long just had a baby.

  4. MStrader says:

    I say however long it takes you to have the energy, willpower or whatever it takes to get back into your ‘old’ clothes and feel like going to the store (and believe me that time will come) then you can’t say “I just had a baby” anymore….but you can still say “but I have a toddler/preschooler/child/tween/teen” so the excuse just grows

  5. I am pretty sure it’s when he goes to college because he’s going to be taking up your time/energy/money until then.

  6. AGreenEyeDevil says:

    If men were responsible for giving birth it would have been given a legal disability status….you go right ahead and cite the situation as long as you damn well please!

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