I hate you Al Roker

Or maybe this weather Al Gore’s fault. I think just to be safe we should go ahead blame all dudes named Al and force them to fan us with giant palm leaves and spritz us with Evian. That’s getting off pretty easy if you ask me. What I COULD do is trap them in an unairconditioned house with a grumpy, rashy, non-napping baby who screams unless he is ON YOU at all times. Of course, to make them TRULY appreciate my pain they would need to be pregnant too. And now I have an image of an Al Roker-Al Gore love child suck in my head. Even air conditioning can’t help me now.

We’re currently headed into week three of what the weathermen like to call “unseasonable warmth” which is a bit of a misnomer as the only place you could call 95 degrees “seasonable” is the surface of the sun or the fourth circle of Hell.

(I’m watching the Today Show as I write this and they’re doing a story about Yellowstone, where it is cool and shady and pleasant. Jenna Bush is on my TV wearing a FLEECE JACKET. I don’t think I’ve ever hated a member of the Bush family more than I do right now.)

The real problem with this weather isn’t the actual temperature, it’s the duration. There are generally a few days every summer in late July or August where the humidity is out of control and the heat is unbearable and half the population runs off to Walmart to fist-fight for the last of the AC window units while the other half stands naked in front of box fans reminding themselves over and over that this too shall pass. When you know you’ve only got a couple weeks to go before Labor Day you can sweat through this kind of misery.

But it is JUNE, barely the start of summer in Connecticut, and I am one of the many many residents of the North East who have no air conditioning (or any hope of getting some – our windows are the wrong size, the house is too big and leaky to do much good, we can’t afford the unit OR the electricity). This is also barely the start of my second trimester, which seems to have gotten confused with my first trimester, since it’s given me all day nausea and zapped my energy and ripped away every ounce of patience I was clinging to when it comes to handling a toddler. The best I can do right now is pray for some relief from the afternoon thunderstorms the weatherman keeps promising but never seem to appear, drink iced tea by the gallon and refuse to move any more than absolutely necessary.

Or maybe move to Seattle. I hear they don’t have this problem.

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14 Responses to “I hate you Al Roker”

  1. Amy says:

    It baffles my mind that you don’t have air conditioning…but here in Missouri it is 90 degrees or more (sometimes 105 with the heat index…) and crazily humid from June until late September, so we would not SURVIVE here without it. I was looking forward to summer, but once it hits I no longer want to be hot anymore. Sigh. Good luck keeping cool. I’ll do a little rain dance for you.

    • bebehblog says:

      Your rain dance worked! We got a very fast very strong thunderstorm through that the weatherman promises is the end of the humidity. Thanks :)

  2. TMae says:

    OMG it’s unbearable. Here in VA we have central A/C for times like these. Lucky for us, ours is broken. And it’s JUNE and it’s been over 100 degrees on several days ALREADY. And the baby is teething. Ugh. But I’m not pregnant – YOU deserve a medal. And a window A/C unit. Because you should not have to be pregnant and fourth-circle-of-hell-hot. That’s just cruel.

  3. We’re having one of those days here, though it’s not supposed to be part of a trend (at least not yet). We don’t have central air and I’m trying to avoid putting a window unit in the living room this year because I hate how it looks and sounds and sucks up the electricity. Then again, I wonder how having on AC going would stack up against the many fans we have running. We get great airflow in the house with the help of strategically placed fans, but that’s none too good for the power bill, too.

  4. barbra says:

    yikes, i hope your weather clears up (or maybe clouds over is better?)
    Spring has just sprung here in Portland (just south of Seattle). we just got our first sunny days over the weekend. it’s been 60 and raining for the past three months straight. that gets pretty old too.

  5. FourInchHeels says:

    House swap for a few weeks? The Seattle rain is getting unbearable. I love me some rain, and I love our soggy cozy winters ….. but I need my summer. Last Thursday was the first time in NINE MONTHS it was above 75, and was sunny for more than 2 consecutive days (we reached a whopping three in a row before the rain came back).

    • bebehblog says:

      I know would be complaining just as hard if it was cold and rainy and not at all summer like. And I know this is pretty much the most annoying cliche ever but it’s not just the heat it’s the HUMIDITY. I’m already a sweaty person – this weather makes me drip like a whore in church. It’s truly vile.

  6. Suzanne says:

    I know how you feel. When I had my baby in December, I couldn’t wait until summer so I could go outside with her and get out of the house. Now, it is summer and I can’t wait for it to cool down so I can go outside with her- ahh irony. Even at 7 AM here it is already hot and too humid to take her out. Bah. Hope it gets cooler for us all.

  7. lalaland13 says:

    A couple years ago, the central air at my mom’s went out, and it would’ve been too expensive to replace it, so they have window units galore. I used to think “ahh that looks trashy!” but now I just don’t care. Over the weekend I slept in my old room (on a futon bed) and loved the hum of the window unit.

    At work, I have a fan in my cubicle, because the a/c doesn’t do such a good job of circulating.

    What I’m trying to say is, having a house that can’t sustain at least a few window units should be illegal in the United States of America (Congress stands up, applauds, Supreme Court justices mouth “That’s not true!”).

  8. Oh man I feel for you. We have the same heat down here, only throw in some NYC grime to make it even that much more pleasant. You get major props for dealing with this gross weather while pregnant though. I remember the few days we had like this last year before I had Ivy and they were hell.on.earth.

  9. brigidkeely says:

    What about filling up your tub with lukewarm (or cool) water, opening the window all the way, getting a box fan going, and hanging out in there with Evan? Just lounge in the cool water with the cool breeze, maybe have some iced tea at hand, splash a bit, and don’t come out until it’s time to eat.

    • bebehblog says:

      We ended up filling the pool with ice cold hose water and the naked baby played it in while I soaked my feet. But I think next time I’ll use the tub – it’s really big and I can lock the door to keep the naked baby from running away through some big prickly bushes. Not that I would ever be careless enough to let that happen outside. Not me.

  10. bellegourmande says:

    I too live in the Pacific NW(Seattle) and have been really hankering for summer weather. It’s nice today but I still am wearing jeans (til I moved here I NEVER wore jeans in summer) and in a park w/no shade it’s unpleasant. But it is nothing compared to the humidity you can get in the Northeast and, even worse, the Southeast. We are going to AL, NYC, and VT/NH this summer, and I’m curious to see how a 2 month old will deal with the humidity. Sleep more?

  11. [...] Twitter, too!). We met through tweeting/blogging and I <3 her! She hates on Al Roker for giving bad weather reports and has what might be the second most adorable baby boy on the planet (behind Aric, of course). Oh, [...]

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