Dear Baby Evan,
I’m really sorry about that little incident yesterday with the stove. I didn’t mean to almost set you on fire while getting a bowl out of the cabinet above the microwave. Trust me, realizing my belly is leaning against a hot burner wasn’t really fun for me either. But since you find it amusing to see just how far you can stretch my stomach in the few weeks you have left, I have to warn you something equally unpleasant might happen again. I may, for example, accidentally stab you with a pair of scissors while trying to cut open the plastic packaging on one of the baby shower gifts. Although that seemed to hurt me more than you. I mean, it WOULD. Hypothetically, of course. So in conclusion, to avoid any more belly accidents I think you may want to consider making an appearance ASAP. I promise not to set you on fire.
Love and Kisses,