Carpet and Complaints

Today is Carpet Day here in the bebeh-house, which is both extremely exciting and extremely awful, because I have to be here all day to…I don’t know. Supervise or something. Make sure they aren’t casing the joint (do people still say that?) Give them permission to take all the pictures off the walls so they can get the carpet roll up the stairs. I never know what to do with myself when we have people here working. Watch? Offer to help? Just stay out of the way? Do I need to feed them? Should I offer them drinks? Oh God, what if they need to pee? What if they need to pee and they notice how dirty the baseboards are in my bathroom? What if the need to pee and notice the dirty baseboards and then judge me?

And that is why I woke up in a panic at 7 am and spent an hour giving my upstairs bathroom the most thorough cleaning it’s had in months. Then I sprayed extra cleaner in the shower just so it would smell clean. I think this might be the first sign of a mental breakdown.

It’s also a cold, wet, miserable rainy kind of day so not only are Little Evan and I trapped AT the house, we’re trapped IN the house. I’m preparing myself for an exhausting, nap-free kind of day. Meltdown usually starts about 11:30 with full on screaming and hitting by noon on the days we don’t get out for Stroller Strides/playdates/shopping/ANYTHING. But I planned ahead and have not one but two new baking recipes to try and absolutely no qualms about bribing good toddler behavior with fresh from the oven pumpkin bread. If I don’t cover it in cream cheese and shove it all in my face first. NOM.

I’m also making the most bastardized version of crock-pot chili EVER, which will either come out incredibly delicious or totally inedible. I’m guessing the later. Because that’s what happens when you’ve already thrown half your ingredients in the crock-pot before you realize you don’t HAVE a 29 oz can of tomato puree. Or chili powder. Or kidney beans. So you use tomato sauce. And taco seasoning. And a packet of microwavable black beans. And I can’t run to the store because I have to be here for the carpet guys. Totally inedible.

Also, here’s today’s brilliant idea: Someone should start a company that installs carpet/renovates kitchens/fixes plumbing/does all that other home repair and installation stuff but promises their employees are 100% NON-SMOKERS. Because seriously, carpet dude? You’re going to make my whole house stink like cigarettes and somehow think you’re NOT leaving that smell in my brand new carpeting? Not cool.

Tomorrow is “frantically put the house back together day because E invited his entire hockey team over for a cookout on Saturday” day, so I should have some after pictures of the renovation by the afternoon. I can’t wait to show you just how livable we managed to make the ugliest room ever!

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The winner of the $30 credit at Taradara is…

EMMIE BEE!!! Although I’ve entered literally every giveaway she’s ever done and never won anything, including the one where she was giving away a store credit because she was too lazy to drive to the mall and use it* so I’m not sure I WANT her to win my giveaway. But she’s having a bad week so I’m glad she did. Em, I’ve sent your contact info to Tara so she can set you up!

*For the record, by “lazy” I mean “has three kids under the age of 2″. So, not at all lazy.

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8 Responses to “Carpet and Complaints”

  1. Natalie says:

    I clean my house frantically right before someone is supposed to come to work on something too! Or even if someone says they are going to pop over and they’ve been here a hundred times, I feel obligated to at least give the house a once over, and throw everything in the master bedroom and close the door. “Um, yeah, you can’t go in there.”

    I would offer water to drink…I always do because the last thing I want is someone passing out from overexertion at my house and me having to deal with that fallout.

    Good luck today! Can’t wait for photos.

  2. You can offer a drink because then they will have to pee and they can admire how clean your bathroom is.

  3. Emmie Bee says:

    Well, my husband is a plumber & always complains when he gets home that the customers talk too much. And watch him work. It takes them longer that way for if you are paying by the hour then staying out of the way is best. I always offer a drink when the work is done, while I am paying.

    Also: I never clean shit for anyone. Yesterday I had 6 different guests in my house over the course of the day & while we did CLEAN yesterday in the afternoon- at least 3 people saw the dishes from 3 days ago STILL ON THE TABLE.

    And YAY! So happy to have won! Can I win them all? It’s been that kind of week!

  4. brigidkeely says:

    Augh! Stinky carpet dudes! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    I hate the no-nap meltdown days. Urgh. Good luck with today.

  5. “Bastardized” Is my new favorite word. And, I bet your chili was good!

  6. Swistle says:

    You know what would be another awesome business idea? Someone who would come to our houses and pretend to be us while the workers were here. I would pay, say, $50/hour for that. I haaaaaaate being here while workers are here.

  7. Audrey says:

    I go into that frantic cleaning mode any time ANYONE comes to my house. Like the people who came by on Tuesday to evaluate Everett for speech therapy. These women have more important things to focus on, but I’ll be darned if my entire first floor wasn’t cleaned the day before just for them. And actually, I’m glad I did it because it turned out I knew one of them from one of the places I take Ev to socialize him. :D

  8. Laura P. says:

    We have people coming tomorrow (Friday) to do work on our house. I know what you mean about trying to figure out what to do while they’re there! I have to be around while they do the work. However, I haven’t had time to clean and am not getting up early to do it. The bathrooms are at least decent, though.

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