6-12 months my foot

What the hell is wrong with the people who make baby clothes? Have they never seen an actual baby? You thought women’s clothing was bad, what with vanity sizing and no two brands having the same inseams and the total lack of pockets and “mediums” that really mean “nothing bigger than a B cup you fat fatty!” That’s nothing compared with trying to buy infant clothing.

The worst offender is Gerber. At my baby shower my BFF Erin had everyone decorate these adorable plain white onesies. Some of them were super duper cute. My mom’s had as arrow pointing at the neck that said “This End Up”. One of Evan’s cousins wrote “You think I’m cute, your right!” and my copy editor friend Sara had an aneurysm. My sister did every animal in Noah’s Ark PLUS an amazing black and white drawing of Moishe, the Wild Thing with horns. Baby Evan fit in those 0-3 month onesies for exactly 2 months. So my sister bought some 3-6 month Gerber onesies and decorated some more. Which Baby Evan outgrew in five minutes. What the hell Gerber? Are you trying to give the baby on your food jars an eating disorder?

Target’s selection for 6-12 months is abysmal – unless your baby is a girl. Gymboree lumps 6-12 months into ONE SIZE so my giant baby has been wearing most of it for a month already and is going to need a larger size before the winter is over. Carter’s does single month sizing, so Baby Evan has been in “6 months”  stuff for two months and is now in the “9 month” stuff. Even the fancy-pants high end baby stuff has lousy sizing – the 12 month sweater my aunt sent that cost at least $35 fits now. This totally random sizing makes buying baby clothes second hand or on Craigslist almost impossible. If someone’s selling a lot of “12 month” clothing about half of it is suitable for my almost 6 month old and half of it would fit a two year old.

I know babies vary in size (there’s a mom at my mom’s group whose 3 month old is 8 lbs – and then that woman in Indonesia gave birth to a 19 lb baby) so sizing clothing for them can be hard. But here’s an idea: label them with WEIGHTS, like diapers. TA-DA. I AM A GENIUS. Actually, some of the old Carter’s stuff my mom gave me from 20 years ago does have weights so I wasn’t the first person to think of this. I just don’t know why they stopped.

6 Responses to “6-12 months my foot”

  1. Other Erin says:

    The months are probably done by average weight for a baby at that age. You could try looking up at what age average weight = what he weighs now and buy that size. But it sounds like it would be different for each brand.
    Too bad you live in CT or you could just go with the letting him run around naked method.

  2. AGreenEyeDevil says:

    On the rare instance when I buy baby clothes (as gifts), I have given up on what the label claims and judge size strictly on how the item looks.

  3. Erin (i need to think of a fake name) says:

    I HAVE a bunch of stuff that is labeled by weight and it still doesn’t fit when it says it does. I the carter’s stuff says 12.5-18.5 lbs for 6 months and you would think that would fit my fourteen lbs baby but it is way too big. And then I have stuff from other brands labeled 12-18lbs and it fits now but not for very much longer (def. not for 4 more lbs). So it’s all screwed up either way! (oh, and my baby is in the same percentile for height and weight so it’s not even that he is sized weird, it’s just that they suck!)

  4. ryan says:

    i’ve always instinctually bought baby clothes (for gifts) three or four sizes bigger than the label suggests. that way at least you know the kid can grow into them and hopefully get more wear out of them.

  5. h_a_l says:

    Gerber is THE WORST- I had some 0-3 month onesies that never even fit Ivy- she was wearing their 6-12 month sizes at 2 months. You know what we have problems with too? The length of these sizes. Ivy is long so even if a 3- 6 month size would fit her width wise she is stretching it out with her long legs and torso. And don’t even get me started on baby socks….Ivy is wearing size 12-18 months already. they have little treads on the bottoms for babies who are starting to walk!!

  6. your sister says:

    hello my sister. sorry, i can’t figure out why i can’t comment on my own blog comments section. what i was going to post, as a reply to your pagne-vogue deal, was “yes!! DEAL DEAL DEAL!!!!” so, yes. also, in response to your other post, about all the things i can find on the internet, um, i don’t have the internet. what internet i have is stolen in half-hour increments on too-slow connections that often don’t even load facebook. (like, right now.)
    ps your baby is adorable. like, seriously.

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